Frustrated - This is not going well!!

by heybaby 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Warlock
    Warlock

    My wife and I get into it every once in a while.

    I tell her, every time, that if any man, or ANY group of men say "A", but the Bible says "B", then it will be "B". I don't directly mention the WTS, but if she does, I just tell her the Bible takes precedent.

    She doesn't like it, because when the WTS speaks, it's like God speaking, as far as she is concerned.

    As far as I'm concerned, my own interpretation is as good as anyone's.

    Warlock

  • screwproof
    screwproof

    Maybe this person is afraid as well and scared to talk about it right now, just give them time and they will come to see. I would have never thought that after this many years I would have questioned things, I was, and am still very scared to do it. Just back off from it for now and let them come to you.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Hey, there. I'm a regular Christian married to a JW. The big revelation for me is that there are two personalities living inside of every JW. One is the natural person who can laugh, play and be reasoned with. The other is the put-on cult personality. It's a waste of time arguing with the cult personality. They all sound alike and they all answer the same. I could probably repeat word for word some of the things your husband said. Also, the more defensive the cult personality becomes, the more it subsumes the natural man. You end up with a snarling robot of a man sulking around the house.

    I learned all this from Steve Hassan's material. http://www.freedomofmind.com/ Learning to recognize the two personalities and how to deal with them has really helped.

    My husband is still a JW and I'm still a regular Christian, but there are far fewer arguments. He's about reconciled that I will never be a JW, and he does not put pressure on me to conform. He skips meetings and service more often, and I get my regular man to play with.

    It does not work to directly confront a delusional person. If it worked, the insane asylums would be empty and there would be no cult groups. Learn how to address your natural man and bring his personality to the fore, and I guarantee you will have a lot more fun. Besides, natural people are the bane of elders trying to enforce the company line.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    My advice would be.To tell him You love him very much.
    But I really dont want to fight & argue about GOD!
    God dont like it. So You go to the K H alone. But let us love
    each other as we promised when we married. for better or worse,
    So even if you think I am the "worse" one.Let us love in deed.

  • insearchoftruth
    insearchoftruth

    I like your thoughts mouthy.....great advice!

  • VIII
    VIII

    These are the saddest threads on this board. Losing a spouse, over a religion is just horrible. Horrible.

    It is terrible that the vast majority of us have lost most, if not all of our extended families over this f-ing religion. However, to lose the person you have vowed to love; it just makes me sick.

    My heart aches for everyone of you.

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