I'm a father first!
Hi guys, this is my first post; I thought I should introduce myself. I was raised and spent most of my life a jw before I was disassociated, because I refused to stop seeing a non witness girl. I must say their decision to cut me off from my family and friends although initially traumatic ended up being the biggest blessing in disguise of my life. It allowed me to shed the indoctrinated fear of looking at both sides of the argument. After doing my own extensive research I was able to eventually wake up to the inconsistencies, misleadings, misquotations, undue influence, even my own ingrained judging attitude towards anyone who wasn't involved with the organization of my birth, whose policies are alone responsible for destroying families (not the shunned ones personal decisions in life) which we all are entitled to. Now a father myself, I find my daughter is the light of my life. I simply can't imagine ever turning her away because we may not agree on some theological point. Or god forbid being a victim of the two witness rule, where in sexual abuse cases within the organization, if the victim is the only witness to the abuse (as is the case in most sexual abuse cases) and the accused denies the allegation, no credence is given to the abuse claim. In such cases the heads of the congregation or elders are instructed by their legal department and certain publications of the society to tell the victim and family to leave things in Jehovah's hands and not get secular authorities involved, in essence protecting the abuser in order to protect their reputation as a morally clean society. Or again perish the thought, having to watch my baby girl on a hospital bed where if a blood transfusion was needed to save her life, I would be expected to watch her take her last breath before allowing her to have a transfusion, because of a blood refusal policy which causes the death of many Witnesses each year (adult and child alike). It makes me wonder if they're aware of the fact that there is around one million white blood cells in just one drop of breast milk. As far as I know they allow witness mothers to breast feed their children don't they? How could the intake of blood be such a sin when it's clearly a part of our loving gods natural design, especially when it's used to save a life not just sustaining it? Neither could I imagine discouraging her from educating herself, when the time comes telling her that college is dangerous. Just as Anthony Morris— (one of the governing body members) said. "the better the institution is, the more dangerous it is". And yes they do believe and teach that if your not a witness you will be slaughtered with the other 99.9% of the population at armageddon, that being just one of many unhealthy even mentally and emotionally damaging doctrines they teach. I wholeheartedly believe that any group of any kind that admonishes their members to stay away from those who don't agree with them, not even considering what they have to say is unhealthy, hypocritical, and should raise a HUGE RED FLAG! For example I can guarantee If a witness came to your door and you tried to offer them some different literature to consider, they would without hesitation turn it down looking at you as nothing more than a stumbling block sent by the devil himself. I for one am thankful to now have true Christian freedom (John 8: 32)—Freedom to love unconditionally, freedom from irrational fear, guilt, or shame, from the worry of inadequacy, from undue influence, from an ingrained prejudging attitude towards anyone not involved with that society, from indoctrination, and above all, the freedom to raise my daughter to be the kind of person I believe a truly loving god would want her to be. For although I remain an estranged son, I'm a father first!
Awesome post! I especially am on board with you with this statement:
It allowed me to shed the indoctrinated fear of looking at both sides of the argument. After doing my own extensive research I was able to eventually wake up to the inconsistencies, misleadings, misquotations, undue influence, even my own ingrained judging attitude towards anyone who wasn't involved with the organization of my birth, whose policies are alone responsible for destroying families (not the shunned ones personal decisions in life) which we all are entitled to.
I am still a witness, but because I eve expressed a desire to be able to question the organization my entire family has taken it upon themselves to disassociate me. But its so hard to explain to anyone "in" how sad, judgmental and miserable they are in the cult. They think they are on top of the world and you really aren't youre in a prison.
Wow, what an eloquent post, and welcome to the board. I am going to print it for future use when I run into someone who asks why I am no longer a JW. Your daughter is a fortunate little girl to have a father like you. "After doing my own extensive research", well you know that is simply not tolerated by the Witnesses! Congratulations on your awakening.
Good for you!
Follow up question: Why are you calling it disassociated, not disfellowshipped? Were you one of the casualties of that period of time long ago where they had "disassociation" ritual for shunning unbaptized people (who were often children)?
FATHERFIRST- Welcome to the board ! Your daughter is very lucky to have a father like you that's looking after her welfare. As regards most everything you stated about the WT Society I agree- although I take it one step further and call them a " criminal organization " - because THAT is what they are. Thousands of people have died due to their no blood transfusion doctrine. Their child abuse policies have led to children being ripped apart physically and mentally and emotionally, and the shunning policy has led to many suicides within the JW cult or organization. How much more criminal can they get ? Space won't allow me to write about ALL the criminal actions they take
Welcome to the forum!
I was particularly struck by your comment about the blood doctrine. How could anyone let their child die just because the leaders of a religious sect that is notorious for changing its mind say so? It's beyond me.
I'm sure it must be traumatic to have no contact with your family but remember that's their choice, not yours.
No I was baptized when I was 12, I was about 17 when I met my daughter's mother. Still living at home I would sneak out to see her, and eventually got caught. At the judicial meeting they basically said I can't have it both ways, seeing a non believer and be in Jehovah's good favor, that I would have to make a choice. One night I Snuck out and never went back. Went to a few meetings after, but soon became irregular and inactive. I never wrote a letter or anything, just got a call from my parents saying they disassociated me. I'm not sure, me not going to the meetings regularly may have had a lot to do with it too, but my young taboo romance is definitely what led to that point. Anyway 26 now, my daughter is 6, and I couldn't be happier!
Nice story! My 2nd time reading it - read it first on the Yuku Ex-JW board =)
The world (and most especially the JW organization) needs more men like you!
Welcome to the forum FatherFirst.
sorry to hijack the thread - was going to create my own post but for some reason (or maybe I wasn't looking at the right place).
anyway just dropping by some love - not sure if anyone has been reading my blog/Instagram etc.
Go easy on the newbies and haters - just love bomb them all the way.
lots of love