Now Some Witnesses Are Buying Backpacks To Get Ready For The Great Tribulation!

by minimus 92 Replies latest jw friends

  • dmouse
    dmouse

    My father-in-law (a devout JW) always said, 'the most dangerous thing you can have in a famine is a stockpile of food'

    His attitude was that 'Jehovah would provide'. My attitude was, as some famous soldier once said, 'Trust in God...but keep your powder dry'

    I have a year's supply of Kendal Mint Cake in my jacket pocket, just in case

  • Barbie Doll
    Barbie Doll

    You got to be kidding me.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Rebel & Blondie, I like those bags! Kinda reminds me of the old burlap magazine bags in the 50s.

  • Bendrr
    Bendrr

    This just in!

    A preliminary report from ex-JW Intelligence agents (UAD/NA) on "JW survival backpacks" has been received by Weekly World News. They are being marketed by Stoops Manufacturing under the acronym GTSSU, or Great Tribulation Survival Supplies and Uniforms.

    GTSSU's consist of:

    • Cheap suit manufactured in a third world country and usually sold at WalMart or Kmart.
    • Bookbag containing a pioneer load of Watchtowers and Awakes.
    • Load-bearing vest and backpack containing food rations consisting of hoagies and pudding cups. Hydration pack filled with Shasta Cola. The LB vest also has pouches for field service records and No-Blood Medical Directive Identification, as well as a hidden compartment for storage of Kingdom Ministry's, Elders Manuals, and study copies of The Watchtower not meant for non-JW's.
    • The optional LBV-IIa also comes with a pouch containing a copy of the NWT with personalized monogramming for a very modest additional fee, part of which is contributed to the World Wide Work.

    Oh my! This is getting downright scary!

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    Bendrr,

    Too damned funny. Remember to forget spoons for your pudding.

  • jeeprube
    jeeprube

    I just got back into town from a weekend backpacking trip, what a great time! As I was walking through the woods with 50 pounds on my back, I thought of this thread and how ludicrous it is to think about the average JW being able to walk more than 100 feet with any amount of survival gear strapped to their back.

    These people are FAT! They eat donuts and McDonalds every chance they get.

    Ludicrous!

  • calico
    calico

    Yesterday I saw public service announcement with Elmo and Sesame Street teaching kids to make an emergency backpack!

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    Are you saying that the faithful and discreet slave is getting messages from Sesame Street? Interesting take.....

  • african GB Member
    african GB Member

    Are those backpacks to be used in 2034, when "THE GREAT TRIBULATION" strikes?

  • Kahlua
    Kahlua

    Haven't heard of the backpacks from any of my JW relatives. But,

    My mom is ready for the GT - she has 2 refrigerators and 3 freezers full. I tried to explain to her if it did come there would be no electricity and all the food would spoil. She can't grasp that concept.

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