Is an affair always wrong?

by Newborn 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • Newborn
    Newborn

    Continue on Oompas thread...

    What if your sex-life is dead and your partner never finds out abt it, is it still unforgivable? Can you live on together? Can the cheater live on as usual?

    Aslo, do you think a couple can be really happy together even though their sex life is non-excisting?

    /Newborn

  • Chalam
    Chalam

    Can you really guarantee that your partner won't find out about it? If you believe in God, can you guarantee that He won't find out about it?

    If the spouse does fins out about it are they likely to take a favorable or unfavorable view over what has happened?

    If a couple are happy together then likely they will have a satisfying sex life too.

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    What do you mean by your sex life is dead? Like he's "unable" to preform, or "unwilling"?

    I don't think the cheater can live as normal, if you have an affair, then you will have to live with the guilt that comes with that.

    lisa

  • Caedes
    Caedes

    You mean this question isn't rhetorical? Wow!

  • JAVA
    JAVA

    Isn't the add that comes up with this thread interesting? I never heard of the "Ashley Madison" service until now--what have we started here?

  • Newborn
    Newborn

    Lisa,

    Just met a guy who said he loves his girlfriend and they are happy but they never have sex. So he's thinking abt having an affair...

    They don't seem to be able to talk or solve it.

  • Priest73
    Priest73

    Why are there Soooooo many desperate women on JWD?

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    Lisa,

    Just met a guy who said he loves his girlfriend and they are happy but they never have sex. So he's thinking abt having an affair...

    They don't seem to be able to talk or solve it.

    So they aren't married. Then my personal opinion is if sex is important to him in a relationship and she is unwilling, than he should be honest with her and break off the relationship. Before starting an affair and getting another person involved. Unless, she is willing to share him with another woman.....and the other woman is willing to share him with his girlfriend.

    lisa

  • undercover
    undercover

    I'll take your last question first:

    do you think a couple can be really happy together even though their sex life is non-excisting?

    Yes, I think a couple can have a happy married life even without sex. Not me personally...I couldn't do it. But I do know of some who have done so. I'd say that this type couple is definitely in the minority, but yes it can be done. It would have to be a mutual understanding. If a sex filled marriage became a sexless one depriving one or the other of something they desire or need, then you've got some major problems.

    What if your sex-life is dead and your partner never finds out abt it, is it still unforgivable?

    My personal opinion: Unless both partners have agreed to an "open" marriage, then any sex outside the marriage wrong. You got married for better or worse...and the no sex part would be part of the worst. If a once sex filled marriage has deterioted to the point where one or both can't stand the touch of the other, then serious counseling is needed or a divorce.

    If one strays and has an affair and keeps it a secret, the question of if its forgivable is moot. The other doesn't know. Can the guilty party live with it is the real question.

    If one has an affair and its found out it could be forgivable depending on the circumstances or it could be the straw that ends the loveless marriage. I've seen that happen as well.

    Can you live on together? Can the cheater live on as usual?

    Each person and each situation is different. It's up to each person and couple to decide if they can live together or not. Whether they can live on together or not, some serious counseling is needed.

    I've known some cheaters who don't think twice about what they've done. Pretty f'd up, I'd say. I've also been the leaning shoulder for friends who were absolutely miserable after they strayed...it can be one of the most miserable situations to be in if you're someone who believes in the sanctity of marriage.

  • Caedes
    Caedes

    Newborn,

    Are you seriously saying that you just want to have sex with this guy? Or are you hoping that you will have some kind of more meaningful relationship?

    If this guy is willing to cheat on his girlfriend he will cheat on you too.

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