Any suggestions on how I can help get my hubby out

by wifeofjw 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  wifeofjw

  Hello Everyone,

  I have not posted very often but, I do read the posts all the time. My hubby was not a JW when we got married. It has been 9 years of the Borg. I would really like for him to leave. It is only getting harded to ignore the stuff he does because the JW's say so. I love my husband very much. He is a great guy. Handsome, funny, helpful, talented...a good man and husband.

  How can I help him out of the borg? What can a wife do? I think I read a thread on this I'm not sure where to find it.

  Hopeful,

  wifeofjw
• 

  leavingwt

  Have you read Steve Hassan's two books? There are some good suggestions.

  However, Hassan also admits that people who are in cults, but are happy, are almost impossible to extract.

  When and if your husband has a reason to want to leave the Borg, or he has more to gain by leaving the Borg, his mind might be open to reason. If he is happy and content with the Borg, your task is very, very difficult.

  -LWT
• 

  Quirky1

  When you find out let me know. I'm trying to get my wife outta da cult.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  When you find out let me know. I'm trying to get my wife outta da cult.

  Ditto. I still haven't gotten her out. The Steve Hassan books are my favorite try.
  Regardless of how much she believes and stays in, I have managed to show
  unconditional love and encouraged my wife to think for herself. The result is a
  JW who they would call "weak" but not to her face yet.

  I wait for bad things to be revealed to her through the organization and I continue
  to keep up to date on what they are changing in case I can see a crack in her armor.

  Some must be reached without heavy "doctrine" but by love. The diff. ways are to
  discuss what a loving God wouldn't do- shun teens who need family and friends and
  were allowed to get baptized without really knowing what they were getting into,
  keeping the organization ahead of the individual in pedophile and judicial matters,
  stuff like that.
• 

  quietlyleaving

  I did try very hard to get my husband out when I first left. But then I realised that he is very happy as witness. For him it truly is a spiritual experience and he is not aware of being damaged in any way. I have a lot of freedom, as much as I want in fact and I respect him for that.

  On the other hand your husband may be better off out of the org. I think you will realise yourself, once you have weighed it up, how to proceed. Meanwhile lots on here have managed to facilitate their mate's leaving the org and I'm sure they will have plenty of valuable practical and spiritual advice. Good luck to you.
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  Robert7

  What got my wife's mind going was her doing research on the history of the Society on Wikipedia. This is a 'non-apostate' site that should make JWs feel comfortable reading. Just read the history of Russel and Rutherford, and you will see how God has no hand in this Organization.

  This history brings out a lot of interesting facts, like how before 1914 Russel preached that the world was going to end in 1914.

  This may get his mind going... You have an uphill battle... good luck...
• 

  slimboyfat

  What if he doesn't want to leave?
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  Robert7

  One important thing to be well educated on is how to respond to the JW 'catch-alls'. Things like "Where else will you go?", "The Organization is made up of imperfect men", and "Wait on Jehovah". I have found that it's the catch-alls like this that keep many in the faith. They are so mind controlled to just default to these thoughts, and makes leaving mentally that much harder.
• 

  Finally-Free

  A person won't leave until they want to for their own reasons.

  W
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  OUTLAW

  "What if he doesn't want to leave?"

  ............SlimBoyFat makes a good arguement..Some people are happy being Jehovah`s Witness`s..They like where they are..

  ...OUTLAW