by jwfacts 27 Replies latest jw experiences
still am tainted by my upbringing in that I think a thought and then correct myself with what I now should think (or visa versa, think something and then remember what I once would have thought).
OMG! So I'm not the only one! That site is Awesome! I guess I have a long way to go in leaving. But it's not like I haven't moved on. I am extremely functional as an ex ex-JW. Its just as you said, for some of us it was a very life encompassing experience.
Isaac
This adds another perspective to my "Can a Child be exposed to JWism and not be damaged by it?"
I'm getting scared now - I have family in
I was 8 years old when my jw cousins told me about Armageddon, and it scared the sh*t out of me. My mom talked me down and was furious with my aunt for teaching her kids such nonsense. Ironically enough, my mom started studying 4 years later, and I thought it was all bullsh*t, but that did't stop me from getting baptized at 17. I believed it for the 7 years I was in and for several years after I was out. That litle bit of time in was so damaging that I can't imagine how messed up I would've been had I been brainwashed since birth!
Thanks for the comments and suggestions.
That has been my life. It all harkens back to your first 9 years - under your heading Jehovah. My family was pioneering in '74..we were one of the ones working zealously on behalf of the WTS. I can recall asking my mother for help on small decisions as a child and her answer was always 'don't worry about that - Armeggedon is coming soon'...and so there was no future, no solutions, you stopped asking questions because the answer didn't matter; the end was near - just a big vacuum where you got up and followed instruction, avoided all those not in Jehovahs kingdom and waited...and waited...and waited...
Good capture of some key JW influences on basic life planning and decision making.
I especially felt the sports one, and the parts about attitudes toward marriage and children.
Oh well, I can still enjoy some fitness/sports as an age grouper and there are 7-8 billion people in the world already so who needs my demon spawn, really. :O)
*sigh*
ps - I got kicked out of kindergarten for reading that Paradise Lost Regained book to the other kids. hahahahaha *sigh again*
ps2 - Maybe you could add a section (or include it in the section that mentions everyone else is under satan's control) about how JW teachings reinforce the mentality that we are unique, special, different, etc.
Hey all. Haven't been to the sight in years. Using spouses sign on.
Grew up around witnesses. Baptized at 12. Now 50. Quit going in 2002. I spent my youth pioneering. Was taught that if I went to college (and there was a community college as well as a university within minutes of my home) that I would have premarital sex, get pregnant, have an abortion, take drugs, and end up believing evolution. I was taught that we didn't need an education; because doctors, nurses, lawyers, and teachers wouldn't be needed in the new world. Additionally, I was taught, marry if you must (to avoid fornication), but do not have children in this system. Do not buy a house or worry about your finances - Armageddon's coming.
Where did that all get me? After decades of pioneering and being a faithful W.T. cheerleader and NOT doing any of the above, except getting married? I spoke out about child molestation (elder's son molests small children) - took seven years for me to see they would never get it. Sloboy disassociated himself first. The final straw for me was a witness got a restraining order against 7 of us, separate orders for my spouse and I - because we had knowledge of his daughter being molested by his brother-in-law. The elders came to my house and met with Sloboy and I - accused us of a death threat against the perpetrator and one of the elders - said I phoned and shot off a gun and said that they'd better not sweep this under the rug.....accused us or "one of our group of doing it.
Thryroid blew out from stress, became chronically anemic, went back to community college, took care of health, after 8 years got two associates degrees in business - had to work full time while going to school. Have no eggs left to have babies. Hit the financial skids when sloboy got sick 10 years ago and sold his business at a loss to some "brothers" who made a killing off of it and his clients.
Today? Regular therapy. Bikram yoga. Staying in the present. Been to Ireland and loved it! Have had two promotions at work thanks to college work and degrees. Still married to husband after 32 years, still love him. MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT OF MY LIFE? I got out of the cult of Jehovah's Witnesses after four decades.
I will wrap this up with saying that I still fight to trust people. I still feel I am on display at times, and worry way to much about what others think, and that I fight "the blessing and the malediction thinking". Lastly, the witnesses gossiped so much, were so critical and judgemental of others - something I hate - and I still do it at times - but am aware of how unhealthy it is now. Still, it gets better day by day. God, who I chose to call "Creator of the wind" is still good. What I think, say, and do in each moment is my spiritual program.
Bless you all for being here. Be good to yourselves. God IS love, no matter what we've been through or done. We are more than the worst thing we've ever done.
Love Dragonly5
This is a very good summation of the experience of being raised in this group and now nearing 50 years old. "You'll never go to school/grow up/ get married/ have children/grow old/ die in this old system of things." Well, here we are, and save for having died (thankfully), all those things did indeed happen.
I think those of us that really did try to make this thing work and whose faith was developed around these concepts have a very difficult time becoming "regular" people. Getting out of it wreaks havoc with your core being and you just have to work really hard to keep facing reality and not fall back under the theocratic spell we grew up with.
You did a good job with this. It's well documented, in no way overly dramatic, but it captures the mindset especially of those of us who lived growing up in the shadow of 1975.
Thank you for your story Sloboy's wife.
