Since the WT has always capitalized on secrecy, aren't we playing into their game when we leave silently? Wouldn't it be better to make as much noise as possible when leaving? It would be of great help if each individual who leaves for matters of conscience or disagreement with doctrine wrote a letter to his entire congregation and family explaining his view on the issues. What do you think?
Leave silently or loudly: that is the question
by Hiddenwindow 20 Replies latest jw friends
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Mrs. Fiorini
Good point. If circumstances make it appropriate, it could help some others to leave too.
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jws
Letters might be a good idea. But before you're gone. Before there is any announcement (in the case of a disfellowshipping or disassociation). That way the letter won't go right into the trash.
But, everyone's circumstances are different. I faded away quietly and as a result, my JW family still talks to me. They're not happy that I'm not going to meetings, but they don't ostracize me. And as long as we don't talk religion, we do good. If I was DF/DA, I know things would be different.
If I didn't have anyone in that I couldn't give up, I would have liked to educate a few people.
And when I was a JW, I would have liked to know what happened to some people. In the case of DFs, I sometimes heard shocking rumors that I didn't want to believe about the person. I would have liked to hear the truth from them. Or in the case of DAs or apostates, there were some very intelligent people who I respected who I heard became apostates. Because they were so smart, I didn't believe they'd be easily fooled. So I was really interested in hearing what they had to say. What made them change their mind and leave?
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Scully
It really depends on the circumstances and what you hope to achieve.
If you don't care about alienating people who are close to you now (including a spouse, children, parents), then by all means, make some noise.
If you think you might accomplish more with the people who matter to you by subtle questioning, then a quiet fade is warranted.
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Mickey mouse
In some families I don't think a fade is possible. I have realised that is the case in my family. When I got out, it will have to be noisily. In less hardcore families, a fade may be the best option.
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oompa
you can make a lot of noise.....educate others....and not get df'd....and don't have to play their game by doing a DA....the mere fact that they have a provision, procedures and name in place for a DA would keep me from using it!.....one key is Questions not ANWERS.....i have been basically openly apostate for two years....i know they have said behind my back "watch out for oompa, he is borderline apostate"....
after writing HQ with many question and the elders becoming involved in the deal....because the reply was so pathetic.....one said the elders were concerned about having to talk to me about being apostate....i asked how could that be when all of my support material for my questions were from WT?......also...i did not express any ANSWERS....only questions...i still can honestly say i don't have a clue anymore......and i sure as don't want any followers.....he agreed with me and they have left me alone.....but i have made many start to think, and many now at least understand why i could buy it anymoer............oompa
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jaguarbass
I think this is your life.
Life has no purpose other than what you give it.
And if leaving loudly gives your life meaning and purpose.
Go for it.
Just remember to count the cost and for every action there is a reaction.
And you should be good to go.
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SPAZnik
Oh, they capitalize on noise too. That becomes "oh those ANGRY apostates controlled by satan". Just do what works for your mood that day. It's called honesty. :)
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logic
One thing about fading quitely is you will still be able to talk to jws and your family. They may not think much of you but you will be able to show you did not turn into some kind of crazy so called worldly person. They will still treat you like you are 'weak' but who cares. This way they still have to deal with you and believe me it drives them nuts and sometimes you can get a little dig in there every once in while. I never bring anything up any more but when they say something negative about the society I will just make some short remark to make them think. That way you are not offending their watchtower senses. My wife now does not got to very many meetings and not out in service at all. I just tell her that she has to do what she feels right to her. I know deep down she knows the society has a truck full of problems.
I think it takes all kinds of methods to make a difference. For those that can the loud method is great. I like the old phrase used by submariners, ' run silient run deep'
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Finally-Free
I wish I made more noise when I left. After I DA'd the gossip mill was running 24/7 to trash my reputation. Making some noise wouldn't have hurt me a bit.
W