For all still in.... fakers. Help.

by Sofia Lose 28 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Crazyguy
    Life is short plan to enjoy the rest of it, the key word plan. If your husband is so far in there's no hope then you may have to move on with out him. I would probably do the same but I have young kids.
  • ABibleStudent
    Sofia Lose - It would hurt me emotionally to know that he lost it all because of me, so I continue to gang in there.

    Welcome Sofia Lose , Instead of focusing on what your husband would lose, ask what would your husband and you gain? How does doing more for the WTBTS and being whipped to do more benefit you and your husband? There will be no WTBTS Armageddon and there will be no WTBTS paradise Earth.

    You have lots of options. All you need to do is do some research, critically think for yourself, free your mind from the WTBTS's BITE control manipulation, and make your plans for a better future. If you need help, post more threads about what you are thinking or planning, and read information by cult-exit counselors like Steven Hassan (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs"), visiting his website, or watching his videos like Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23).

    Best of wishes to you and your husband.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • _Morpheus

    Please dont be offended sophia and fae, but in point of fact sophia confirmed they are indeed two seperate issues, as did you fae.

    FEARING losing your husband (or wife) is vastly different than yelling "i want a divorce!", which is what sophia said in her original post. Im not trying to parse words or be a stickler but it makes a huge differance. If i may be so bold, what it seems you are saying is that, although you love your husband and want to stay married the stress of him being an uber dubbie makes you want run from it all sometimes..... Which brings us back to my original post:

    Wanting a divorce and wanting out of the cult are two seperate issues :)

    i would recomend the only course that leads to sanity..... Slowly introducing the idea that you may not agree with everyword printed in a wt mag. Ask him questions to make him think. Frame those questions in a way where you are getting him to explain something to you that you do not understand.... Example: "honey, how did we get to overlapping generations...? I cant understand how that fits with jesus words in mathew or how that matchs what happened in the first centery".

    Things of that nature, but of course suited to you. Taking baby steps will helps you retain sanity. It will give you a goal and something to work towards. you never know who will awaken. Many of us on this board were once strongly believing elders like your husband. A little nudge from you may help, it may not, but until you try you cant know for sure.

    Because clearly you dont want to divorce him, just the cult ;)

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Tell him how you feel about the Org's teachings etc.

    If you're prepared to just dump everything, what have you got to lose?

  • FayeDunaway
    Morpheus, you can feel so despondent and uncertain that you do not know what you are possibly going to do to get out of a situation. Before I was ever even arguing with my husband about witness issues, I was contemplating divorce, because I couldn't see how we could be happy in a divided family, and I thought I might run away and eventually try to get the kids. I was in a very bad and uncertain place. I think that's where Sofia is now. But she says her husband is a very good guy, as is, ultimately, mine. And I'm really glad I didn't do anything rash and harmful and the family is intact. And I'm really, really glad my husband followed me.
  • LisaRose

    I was right where you are now. stuck in a bad marriage and struggling to take the next step. A chance connection to a friend from high school gave me the motivation I needed to make the break. I had no idea if the relationship would work out, but it made me realize I had to move forward with a divorce, as the marriage was killing my soul.

    I did move forward and have no regrets. I have been happily married for fifteen years, but even if I was alone I would be happy I ended the bad marriage. Listen to your heart, trust your instincts. Do not feel guilty for wanting to be happy, it's not a crime, but essential to be your best self.

  • DwainBowman

    Oh so often I want to just pack up and go!

    I love my wife, were very good together, but there is no chance she will leave the jw's behind, or even listen to anything being wrong with them!

    I am stuck pretending, and it's so hard. I hate pretending to be anything except who I am! And walking on eggshells!

    I want to get on with what's left of my life! I want to find out how real people live!

    Yet, here I am stuck!

    I hope you peace in whatever direction, you chose!


  • WheninDoubt

    Are you sure you’re not putting your own desires above your marriage? It seems you’re asking a bunch of apostates, atheist, and evolutionist for absolution. Instead of talking to your mate, you prefer to lose everything in the name of your own desires. Then the problem is not your mate or religion, the problem is you. God doesn’t put divisions in marriage. He units them. Perhaps something that wasn’t in you to begin with. So talk to your mate first, if he is taking too much time out of his marital obligations? Then that’s something both of you can work on. If you don’t want to be a JW because you see the desires of this world, and you believe it’s passing you by, then your mate deserves honesty. God doesn’t need that type of person in his house, regardless, what religion you’re in. So instead of looking for permission here, research your soul for a better understanding, be it with God or not, or to the four corners of the universe. The decision will be your own and not by someone else’s ideology. Be true to yourself while not being a hypocrite.

  • _Morpheus

    Hmmm it seems your user name got cut off. Clearly it should read "whenindoubtbeasanctamoniousasshole"

    She didnt ask for absolution from anyone, let alone the people you try to derogatorily describe as "apostates athiests and evolutionists".

    She was attempting to have a reasonable discussion.

    You also very clearly do not your god or his representatives. At mathew 10:34 jesus plainly stated he came to divide and put a sword.

    Further, in your arrogance and rush to be smug, its obvious you didnt actually read anyones response before catagorizing them as "apostate athiest evolutioniest ". As unappealing as your arrogance and lack of compassion and humanity are, we agree: communication with her husband is the only real solution.

    Now im left wondering... Does that make you an apostate athiest evolutioniest...?

    @sofia- im not a physiologist, nor do i play one on TV, so i wont pretend to diagnose your feelings or even claim i understand them 100%, my point is: dont lose hope :)

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    wheninDoubt;"if you don't want to be JW because you see the desires of

    the world, and you believe it's passing you by", are you serious.

    Are you talking about higher education, celebrating your child birthday and

    no one lost their head, not knocking on doors to sale your religion or just

    growing up like a regular teenager.

    Please tell us what desires are you talking about??????

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