The Spanking Room: A Child's Eye View of the Jehovah Witnesses

by Dogpatch 40 Replies latest jw friends

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  BU2B

  Just to clarify, I am against child abuse and also against spanking children to shut them up. Children were not meant to sit for 2+ hours like little adults. However I will say that I believe there is a place for moderate corporal punishment when it comes to raising some children. I have observed that often parents have lost control over their children, and see it everyday in restaurants, grocery stores etc. This was almost unheard of years ago when children had more respect for adults in general.

  In the USA, spankings are not illegal as they are in the EU. Beating your child with an object is, but mild corporal punishment is not. Popular opinion is that spanking your child is unhealthy. I know many people who were spanked as children(when deserved), and now appreciate the dicipline. I know that some children have been successfully raised without corporal punishment, and many who have been punished this way have not been raised successfully, however I believe there is a place for it.

  I was spanked very rarely as a child, but in the back of my mind I knew there were certain things I could not say or do without consequences. I would never dream of telling my mom or dad to shut up, or slapping them in the face.. Things I now see on a regular basis. Ironically, often these same children grow up with little to no respect for authority, which often lands them in trouble with the police who regularly taze and beat people. When punishment comes in the form of a filthy jail, or police brutality, I dont hear the outrage. Maybe in some cases this could have been avoided by firmer parenting. Most children I know do not even have a bedtime anymore, that is too "mean" too.

  I have literally seen kids throwing items off the shelf at the store, screaming demanding sweets, only to see the parents give in, thus reinforcing the behavior. I would have been spanked, and not gotten any sweets for a week. Which is more of a deterrent?

  In my observation, children are growing worse and worse in their lack of respect for parents, teachers, and adults in general. This coincides with a more lax parenting style. When kids were raised in the 50s under a more strict style, were their children more productive, harder working, and respectful than the ones we see today? Can anyone answer that the children today are better behaved and more respectful? Look at the fruits of parenting styles and see which are rotten.

  Again to clarify I am NOT for children being punished for not being able to sit still perfectly for 2+ hours. I am for raising balanced, respectful, happy, well mannered children. Some parents are abusive and cruel and this should be adressed as another matter entirely.
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  LisaRose

  I rarely used physical discipline with my children, not at all with my daughter, but occasionally with my son. If I had it to do over I wouldn't do it at all. I do think that spanking my son did harm. It is not necessary to use physical discipline to have well behaved children, it just takes time and patience and setting rules and following through. My two grandchildren are very well behaved with no spanking at all. I think many times spanking is used because the parents are not aware of other ways to discipline and/or they are unwilling to spend the time to use other forms of discipline. I have watched the English nanny shows, in every case she was able to take out of control children and get them to behave by teaching the parents better methods of discipline, in many cases time outs. It takes a lot more time to do that, but it works. Consistency is key, parents must make their no mean no.

  I am glad that spanking is falling out of favor, but parents must teach their children how to behave, and many parents are not doing a good job of it, no discipline is as bad as bad discipline.
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  Darth Fader The Sequel

  Thank you for clarifying, BU2B. I apologize for misunderstanding your earlier comment. We agree. Mild and loving discipline including a swat on the butt now and then for something egregious is acceptable parenting. Beatings are something entirely different and I take great offense at anyone who does that.
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  JT speaks-out

  I'm sure my mother would tell anyone that all she ever did was give me a "smack" when I "needed it", but I remember having more than one wooden spoon broken on my arse. She used to keep a wooden spoon in the glove box of the car and then replace it when it got broken.

  Perhaps what Londo said about being discrete is the reason why all the beatings happened in the "mothers and babies" room at the hall I grew up in.

  "cultBgone: I was tempted to say they dragged their kids, but of course that would have looked bad to any visitors."

  I remember some kids being dragged, some being marched, some being half dragged and half carried (usually with a hand over their mouth to muffle the screaming). A few didn't scream though, because they were too terrified to make a sound.
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  Londo111

  At home, I usually had a belt applied to me, one time, my father left me blue and purple on my thighs and rear. One time, the ball from the paddle and ball toy fell off, and my mother beat me with that...until it broke. When I was a teenager, my father threw a shoe at my head.

  At meetings, I think I learned to be very quiet and still.
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  RichardHaley

  When my little brother and I would finally get home from fieldservice or the meeting our mom would come in the door behind us and yell..."let the beatings begin!" We were always goofing off...
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  Balaamsass2

  Memories...........misty, water-colored memories...

  The spanking rom was not as bad as the aftermath of the meetings. Mom was always upset, slighted, or guilty about something after the service meeting, which would result in downing at LEAST 2-3 drinks upon returning home. That would in turn lead to verbal or physical abuse if you didn't agree with her or keep her company. Uggh.....what a great warm and fuzzy spiritual paradise for children.
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  sparky1

  Sorry to hear of the treatment you recieved at the hands of 'loving worshippers of Jehovah' who just happened to be your biological parents, Londo111. I can sympathize, empathize and completely relate to your experiences of being disciplined in such a cruel and harsh way. My mother would whip my 2 older sisters with an electrical extension cord, she pushed my brother down a flight of stairs and one time I walked in on her sitting on another one of my sisters on the floor (my mother weighed about 300 lbs) and pounding her head into the wooden floor. Even though I was her 'favorite' she did not hold back from showing me 'loving discipline'. One time on the way to the Sunday meeting I was acting up. She pulled the car over to the side of the road, removed one of her low stacked heel shoes and began to beat me in the head with it! After she split my head open she decided to stop. No visit to the doctor or hospital, we just turned around and went home. To this day I have a scar behind my right ear and have severe Menieres syndrome in my left ear.(not to say that the beating was the cause of the Menieres syndrome, it could have come because she refused me medical treatment for an ear infection a few years later or it could have been caused by something else entirely) She was a pioneer and highly regarded in the Circuit as a spiritual 'older woman'.
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  Vidiot

  I've never liked corporal punishment (getting or giving).

  I don't spank my kids, and they behave just fine; before he passed away, my Dad even acknowledged that I was a better father than him (in part because of it). There's plenty of ways of finding out how to teach your kids to behave, if you're willing to show a little patience.

  As far as I'm concerned, it's worth having blanket laws (or cultural taboos) that forbid beating your kids if it makes it that much harder for the pricks who enjoy it to get away with it.

  I despised the JW parents who'd haul their poor, pathetic toddlers into the back room for a whack every ten minutes for the stupidest of infractions. These were usually the same f**king psychos who had the nerve to whine about how much they resented blanket laws that supposedly forbid spanking.

  I started calling 'em out on their bullshit when I got older; never got in trouble for it either.
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  JT speaks-out

  At home, I remember once having a boot thrown at my head, sometimes being hit with a bible or other publication because my mother was always sitting at the kitchen with a cup of tea doing study. Other times, for reasons I can't remember presently, I remember my mother threatening to go and get the biggest stick or tree branch she could find in the back yard to beat me with.