The Spanking Room: A Child's Eye View of the Jehovah Witnesses (page 2)

AudeSapere

Why was Tired of the Hipocrasy's yahoo post deleted from the yahoo site??

Anyone know??

-Aude.

Hi everyone! Haven't posted in a loooong time but have stopped by once in a while to see what is going on. Truth is, I am very not interested in the JWs or the WT anymore. Too busy leading a perfectly normal and happy "worldly" life.

But, I had to respond to this post. I got the book today and I read it today. I found it riveting and could not put it down, so I read the entire 208 pages in a day. I just sent Bill Coburn a message about his book. I would recomend this read for anyone who was raised in a Witness house, is currently raising kids as a witness and for anyone with kids thinking about becoming a witness. And for anyone just wanting to know what Witnesses believe.

The book is not written with a negative spirit or with anger of any kind. Which I found refreshing because if otherwise, It would have put me off immediately. It honestly tells of the poor plight of the children of the WT and the author gives a great summary of WT teachings that even someone who never associated with Witnesses could understand. And the message of forgiveness was wonderful. I too had to make a choice of forgiving an abuser, my Catholic father beat me and my 4 siblings our entire childhood . But the best thing I did for myself was to let go of the hurt and anger. Bill also did this and for similiar reasons. Again it was a great book.

My husband and I found that it answered many questions we had while we were in. We went into the org in the 90's and found that what was printed in the literature at that time from the borg was not too negative towards children and yet in our kh in Hingham MA, we always felt hostility aimed at our two kids but did not understand why this was so. They were not bad kids at all, although maybe a little noisy and fidgety at meetings. After all they were youngsters, babies and toddlers. We left when they were 9 and 11.

We found that many of the sisters would gleefully run right to us after the meeting to report on some seemingly infraction that our kids did such as walking too fast in the hall, or laughing too loud, and they would tell us how to discipline them into good JW's, probably hoping we would give our kids a good whacking. When we did not take their advice, they told us we were bringing reproach on Jehovah.

Once when our then 3 year old threw a temper tantrum in the back room, two different sisters scolded me for not using a stick to beat him into submission. I was appalled. And although my hubby was not against spanking in general, he was too. Thankfully so! I could never understand how parents could give up common sense when it came to disciplining thier own child and turn the authority of them over to an organization?

We had no support as a young family in the org. at all. Now I can understand why. Because many of the JW's in that hall were either raised up in it during the same generation Bill Coburn was or came into the org during that time. And there deffinately was an anti-children atmosphere probably started by Rutherford and fostered by his sucessors. We even had one elder's wife who was not planning on having kids in this "system of things" admit she cried when she found out she was pregnant and secretly hoped the baby died. And they call worldly people wicked? When this lady had the baby, we openly heard two of the "friends" say outloud, "why would anyone want to have a child in this system". No wonder the sister could not be joyful about her pregnancy. And yet, the bible says that children are a reward and a gift!

Anyway, My hubby and daughter want to read the book next. And when they are done, I will come back and post a thread so if anyone wants the book and cannot afford to buy it, I will personally mail them my copy as long as they promise to pass it on. Lilly

reniaa

While I simpathise with the author I still find these type of things misleading as if to say spanking was unique to witnesses and not an accepted practise of the times! given the authors age he was still young when corporal punishment was freely practised in most schools only getting banned in the 80's (yes you could still get smacked by a teacher at school) I can remember mostly boys going to the headteacher to get caned and then it was banned.

It is hard to look at this sort of stuff and see it was just the times we lived in, Dr spock wrote a contraversial book that was finally embraced

In 1946, Spock published his book The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, which became a bestseller. By 1998 it had sold more than 50 million copies. It has been translated into 39 languages. Later he wrote three more books about parenting.
Spock advocated ideas about parenting that were, at the time, considered out of the mainstream. Over time, his books helped to bring about a major change, if not a reversal, in the opinions of those who considered themselves to be the experts. Previously, experts had told parents that babies needed to learn to sleep on a regular schedule, and that picking them up and holding them whenever they cried would only teach them to cry more and not to sleep through the night (a notion that borrows from behaviorism). They were told to feed their children on a regular schedule, and that they should not pick them up, kiss them, or hug them, because that would not prepare them to be strong and independent individuals in a harsh world. Spock encouraged parents to see their children as individuals, and not to apply a one-size-fits all philosophy to them

but by the same token he advocated laying babies on there stomach and was hugely influential on the medical profession and parents with this, probably one of the major factors towards still births caused.

So as moving as this book is it just one of many many book popular atm on hardship during chiildhood.

I can still remember my teacher throwing any projectile object he could lay his hands on if a child was playing up or sleeping in the class, usually the blackboard wiper and if you got a nasty bruise it would teach you to behave next time.

reniaa

I will add one thing the social conscience of society is usually reflective of current trends, but spanking and punishment of children is I predict going to go the other way to some degree at least in England because there is a new trend for parents to be given responsibility for his/her child's actions and with england seeing a sudden onset of knife killing between children, if parents are then blamed and could face prison it won't be long before they take the lesser of 2 evils and spank their child to stop him carrying a knife.

already parents face consequences if children are absent from school.

lovelylil

so true about the time and spanking. My husband and I grew up during that era and were spanked constantly. But the thing is that the WT literature promoted an anti children environment which just made it worse for the child. Having children was seen as a waste of time and children were seen as nothing more than a disturbance during meetings. So if you happen to be a Jehovah's witness kid, you had it twice as bad as just being a regular kid who got spankings. Also getting whipped in the name of religion is always more fierce than a regular whipping. I know because those are the types of beatings I got from my staunch Catholic father. And the anti children atmosphere in the society carried over into the kh today. So if you are unfortunate to be in one with lots of members from the 70's era, like my family was, they would make your life miserable. So glad the views of corporal punishment in general has changed. Lilly

mkr32208

I've got to say I don't recall any "abuse" of kids in any of the halls I've gone to. Lots of sexual abuse but that's not usually done in the hall! If I had seen someone dragging a kid out by the ear or hair you can bet I would have kicked that parents ass right there in the hall. I don't mean in a 'figurative' way either. The elders and ms's in my old halls (Avondale, north jax, highlands) were (all things considered) a pretty good bunch and I don't see any of them standing idly by will a kid was abused either.

mary stewart

this sounds like what happened to the 3-year-old i watch. his mum (that wannabe bub i mentioned before) has beaten him til he bled and screams at him. he's a messed-up kid who will be in the dubs by the time he's 6, i'm sure.

skeeter1

I put this on my Christmas list to Santa.

So sad, I think I will relate. I was of the spanking generation. I did not get spanked, I was too afraid to speak out. I witnessed this from my earliest memories, I could not have been 2 or 3. Talk about a way to raise one's children to love Jehovah.

I attended a family funeral at the KH with my 3 year old. She was excited to have everyone she knew together. She bounced from one person to the next relative. I found her to be a glee of cheer and life. We took her out of the KH when she got fussy during the hour long funeral, but never beat her.

Unfortunately, my family members (including those who now have nothing to do with JWs) were still so indoctrinated....they openly told us that we should have "made our child sit still."

I retorted, "Why? She was just happy to see everyone. Do you want me to associate the KH with spanking?"

mary stewart

reniaa, are you some pro-jw apologist? if not, why defend them? spanking sucks!

TSR

Reniaa, I am very clear in the book about the time period and that spanking was common. I never imply the JW's are the only religion to "beat" children. I assumed the readers of my book are highly intelligent and as such I present only my story combined with facts about the organization. In short: I wrote this book to inform people about the JW's not bash the JW's Bill Coburn

The Spanking Room: A Child's Eye View of the Jehovah Witnesses

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