Did you ever watch that clip on you tube? I can't remember the exact title but an elder kept calling this guy asking to meet with him. Basic idea is to ask if its formal or informal. If its informal, then meet at the pub, no suits, no second elder (ie coroberating witness), no problem. If its formal, is it a JC meeting?
If they press, just say that you'll meet but you'll be recording the meeting, will have legal counsel present and need to know what the accusations are so you can prepare a defense. Chances are they won't agree to these terms and will let you alone. I might be getting it a little muddled up but go to youtube and have a look for the clip. Its called "phonecall with an elder" or something like that.
Hubby has had a couple of calls from the elders since he left but i've heard nothing from any of those loving shepherds or should I say sexist bastards!