Don't fight her beliefs or affiliation with the organization; you will make her stronger by providing the 'persecution'. She probably doesn't have much 'in depth' contact within the congregation apart from other sisters married to 'opposers'. The spiritual 'in-crowd' will likely not accept her fully over a long period. Her major associates will be others in her situation, who survive on unhappiness.(Apart from the genuinely nice people that do exist). Don't give her the same unhappiness. Provide her with emotional support, friendship and a willingness to share things together. Provide a respite from the stresses of being a good JW. In short, be her friend; not her enemy.
Breaking Through Cognitive Dissonance?
by indireneed 23 Replies latest jw friends
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TR
indireneed,
on the flip side, since you have no children, this would be a good time to dump her. I really don't mean to sound harsh, but I went through a similar thing- only I was the dub. My wife was preggers with our first, so we stuck it out. Now we have three kids and it all worked out now that I'm out, but MAN was it tough.
You could have years of unending conflict ahead of you, or she might see the light soon. Who knows. But you HAVE to wonder wether she would pick YOU or the WTS given the choice. Maybe you should give her that choice.
TR
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
—Edmund Burke -
larc
indireneed,
The title of your thread is, "Breaking through cognitive dissonance." I don't think your wife is experiencing cognitive dissonance, because all her beliefs fit for her. I think it is your job to create cognitive dissonance.
Here some things that will create that:
1. Why is my husband so nice and good to me, when I am taught that he would persecute me?
2. Why are his friends and family so nice and loving, when I am taught that worldly people are bad and mean?
3. Why is it so much more fun to go with my husband on a week end get away than knocking on doors?
I would go slow on the factual stuff and try to give her small seeds of doubt.
Questions you might bring up, but not more than one a month?
1. How long have they taught that the end of the world would be here any day now?
2. What is this thing about Beth Sarim?
3. Is it true that they used to teach that organ transplants were a form of cannabalism?
4. Did they predict the end of the world in 1975?
On these or other questions, don't give her the answer. Make her do the research and show her what you have found after she makes the effort.
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siegswife
I think that if you truly love her, and willing to put forth the effort, you should combine what six, teejay, si and larc said. Her sensibilities would have to kick in.