My Friend

by mrsjones5 15 Replies latest social family

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5
    If he is up at all hours like that, he could be in a serious depression,

    I agree. I told him months ago that I thought he needed some counselling outside of the jws. He wouldn't hear of it, thought that getting married soon after his wife's horrible death would help with the loneliness and self hate he was feeling. From the start getting married that soon didn't help, he started getting flack from his inlaws. He also thought that his new wife would help with his emotional problems over his wife's death because his new wife used to care for a relative that had cancer - something they both had in common. I'm not so sure it's working out the way he wanted it too.

    I'm a soft touch sometimes and I do care about the guy (not enough to leave the hubby, nuh huh *shakes head*) so I'm gonna push him towards getting some sort of grief counselling...can't hurt to try.

  • Mary
    Mary
    Well 3 months after I wrote that my friend got married and decided that it wasn't such a good thing to talk to me. He married a lady after knowing her less than 5 months. She's a jw and they now have a long distance marriage cuz they live 3 or 4 hours away from each other and my friend can't leave his job right now - his prospects of finding another job as good as the one he has now aren't so great.

    This guy does not sound very stable, IMO. He makes a life long commitment to a woman he's known less than 1/2 a year and they're not even living together?? What kind of half assed marriage is that? I can understand him not wanting to quit a good job but wouldn't the logical thing be that his wife moves to where he's stationed at?

    So when he told me that he got married and didn't think it was such a good idea to chat anymore I was fine with it. I told him that I would respect his wishes and I have. I have kept my word. No contact. Nada. So imagine my surprise when my friend text messages me at 4 in the morning on Saturday and carries on a conversation like what was said before didn't happen. Amazing. I don't know if his marriage is working out but I want to find out. I'm just gonna take it slow and easy. Oh, he texted me again this morning and said "Hi". I missed speaking to him. No doubt he will text again.

    I'd be very careful here. Just because someone gets married shouldn't end a friendship. Either he still has more than 'friendly' feelings towards you, or he's not a very good friend. I'm guessing it's the former. He jumped into this marriage without looking, is most likely regretting it big time and is looking for a soft shoulder to cry on. While it's true that men and woman CAN be 'just friends', it doesn't sound like this is one of those times. I'd be very careful here.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Don't worry girlfriend, I'm being very careful here. I'm a soft shoulder to cry on but I don't have the kind of help he needs...he needs some kind of counselling badly.

  • Mary
    Mary
    ...he needs some kind of counselling badly.

    Maybe he just needs to pray more and go out in Service more.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Most of us know it's crazy to marry someone you've known only 5 months. It can take a year or more for people to get out of the magic stage.

    But, JW's think you have to be married.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Maybe he just needs to pray more and go out in Service more.

    oh my lol

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