Disassociated

by LB 25 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  LB

  I'm new here and I'm certain this topic has been discussed in the past so please forgive me for bringing it up. I've been inactive for about 3 years now and at this time would like to disassociate myself as I do plan to celebrate holidays and such. So I think it is to my advantage to DA myself before I get DFed. I'm just sick and tired of having to follow rules of an organization I no longer belong to.

  Only problem I have is my adult kids are active witnesses. They will continue to assoicate with me regardless of what happens.

  My thoughts are this, if I DA myself, and say I wanted to "re-instate" myself would I be able to do that down the road by simply sending a letter to my old congregation? I will NOT want to, but just in case I move away, where I'm not under watchful eyes, would this strategy work? I mean if I were DFed then I'd have to play the silly game and attend meetings and pretend I've seen the error of my ways and all that. Can I do such a thing? Would this work? I really don't want to ask an elder as that would probably set in motion the judicial committe.

  Again I'm sorry for dragging up what I am sure is a very old subject.
• 

  joelbear

  It is an often discussed subject because we continue to get new people here.

  There are two camps.

  1. The disassociate yourself camp argues that actively disassociating yourself sends a message to the society and to others that you stand in firm disagreement with the Watchtower's teachings and that this may help others to come and ask you questions and help them get free themselves.

  2. The drift away camp (which I am a member of) argues that disassociating basically keeps you in the lock of the Watchtower by following their bureaucratic rules and regulations and might discourage some from talking to you because of the fear of being DFed themselves thus actually cutting off people from information that might help them.

  I'm sure others will add to this simplistic summary.

  take care

  Joel
• 

  mikepence

  You cannot undo a disassociation with just a letter. In fact, if you choose to DA yourself, it is difficult to get back in. We are talking months and months of attending meetings and kissing elder ass.

  Make sure that your adult children are certain that they will continue to have dealings with you. What if other active JW's are over, and you stop by or call? Are your children willing to risk possibly being looked down on, or disciplined themselves for having you in their home?

  I highly recommend DA'ing. I never regretted that I did. But, it is a highly individual choice.

  Peace,
  Mike Pence

  XJW User Submitted News & Views at http://xjwnews.com
• 

  Mulan

  I recommend you do nothing. Over the years, I have known many people, who have drifted away, and start celebrating the holidays. They don't df them for that.

  Disassociating yourself is exactly the same as being disfellowshipped. Same procedure to get reinstated. Don't do it!! Don't play their game. That's what they want you to do.

  My daughter, who posts here as Princess, has never been df'd or da'd, and has done Christmas the past three years. No one gives a rip. The gossip is rampant, but I don't think they legally can get you on that cause.

  Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
  
• 

  Satanus

  LB

  It's totally logical that, if you have the authority to da yourself, then you would also have the authority to reassociate yourself, except that i think ra-ing would be very difficult, probably as much so as getting reinsated. A fade w excuses like family/health/business problems temporarily distracting one might be better, although w its own dificulties. In the long run it might be better. Those are my opinions.

  SS
• 

  Skimmer

  From the official WTBTS media website:

  -> http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm

  "Do you shun former members?

  Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned."

  Just send a note with the above reference along with a request not to be contacted. If the local elders do not follow the instructions, then write to Brooklyn with all the details. If the WTBTS tries to dodge, then do a complete write-up of the situation and publish it on the web and in some local newspapers.
• 

  paulvarjak

  LB-

  Reinstatement after a disassociation is often more difficult than if you were disfellowshipped. You would have to go through the same process of attending meetings and visible repentance (ie. groveling). But if you disassociate, they will likely view you as an apostate and would be more hesitant to allow you to be reinstated.

  paul
• 

  OUTLAW

  Hey LB,just drift away!Don`t play their game,your life will be a lot simpler...OUTLAW
• 

  JBean

  It's safe to say that after being inactive for 3 years or so... they'll leave you alone. If you decide at some point to go back to meetings and participate, then they will DF you if it's been known that you were celebrating holidays, et al. But only if you decide to come back. There is a certain timeframe where they don't give a damn what you do, cos basically you're not really "known" as a witness anymore, but I'm not sure what that actual # of years is. Does anyone know?
• 

  belbab

  LB,

  It says, paraphrasing, when you see the disgusting thing standing in the holy place, flee.

  It says, Get out of her my people,

  It says when you see the City of Peace, surrounded, infested with encamped armies, flee to where they can't catch you, the mountains.

  I don't see anything here that says, stop and write a letter first, just Move your ass on out! Call your own shots.

  belbab, crowing, from outside the camp.