Living with a J.W. (page 2)

jamiebowers

Welcome. Your boyfriend was in a cult and is now considering rejoining it. He can't get reinstated and live with you. If you marry him and if/when he gets reinststed, he will do a lot more than disrespect your beliefs. He will be the head of the household and will expect you to submit to him in every way. If you have children, there will be a constant battle on how to raise them, and in the case of a custody battle, the WTB&TS will back him.

My advice to you is o RUN AS FAST AND AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN! But if you must try to salvage this relationship, read Steven Hassan's book, Combatting Cult Mind Control. You may be able to help him out of the cult mindset, but it will be slow going and probably impossible.

dawg

"has given my boyfriend a 2 week notice before he lays him off b/c of his disfellowship".

Good, because religious discrimination is against the law. Let him lay your boyfriend off, finical freedom may be right around the corner when you win a civil rights lawsuit.

serendipity

I think if he continues attending JW meetings, the man you know will change drastically and you may not like the "new personality".

startingovernow

Yes, run.

I agree with other posts on what books might help you to take a stand for leaving despite the good years you've had together. It would be great if you could get him to read them to, since if he ever does get reinstated he will refuse to do so under the misconception that they are apostate books meant to draw him away from the "Truth" instead of what they really are; books that will help you make an informed decision as to whether what the WT says is the truth or not. If he is disrespecful of your religion now, it will only get worse. And then any other activities or behaviors that the WT says are inappropriate for true Christians you will be doing without his company but with his condemnation. He will be away at meetings and in field service, invited to gatherings where you might not be welcome or feel very comfortable at, that is unless you listen to the "good news" (keep in mind that anyone that is talking to you about God/Bible is counting their time, and their motivation might be more for how much time they can count with you than your well-being). I'm not sure what you mean by your being mature, but if your ever considering having children, he will be raising them to think like a Witness, and condemning any activity that he believes to be pagen, will not want your children to be involved in sports or other school activities.

Getting married in order to be re-instated is not a healthy reason to get married. Get out, Get out while you still can. Consider counseling for your broken heart if the thought of leaving him is so difficult.

PEC

speckles, welcome to JWD. If you stay with him and he returns to the cult, the cult will control every aspect of both of your lives.

alt

Philip

burningbridges

first of all, his boss can get in big trouble, thats discrimination by firing him based on his religious standing. fight that big time. Also, I'd try REAL hard to get him to read that book, even if you have to lie to him. Tell him you'll cosider marrying him only if he reads it first, then see where he stands. you can order it off of amazon. If he will not leave the organization, I hate to say it, but I'd run like hell. 3.5 years is nothing compared to a broken and divided family that will be shattered by the emotional strain that a JW father will bring. He will feel that it is his god ordained right and duty to make sure that any children go to the hall and are raised as witnesses and will not allow them to celebrate any holidays.. If he says otherwise, DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. HE will feel differently once the kids are there. Its not worth it, it will be an emotional battle every day. I hate to say it, but happiness is not in your future if he gets reinstated.

Barbie Doll

If he returns to the cult. Do you want someone else to think for you and tell you what to do, That is what JWs does.

jaguarbass

I'd say cut your losses and run, unless you want to be a JW.

Living with a J.W.

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