Death of an Elder

by sacolton 56 Replies latest jw friends

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  nvrgnbk

  To suggest that human feelings are too often supressed in the organization because they are mission-focused and overly zealous is one thing. Most of us know that to be true. But to suggest that all JW's are cold and heartless is a reach.

  Were all of us unloving when we were in?

  To suggest that we were kind while no one else was is a type of delusional selective memory. It's like the guy that thinks that his father was the only good elder or the other that thinks that he was the only one that ever picked someone up for a meeting or took an elderly sister to a doctor's appointment.

  We all did what we wanted to.
• 

  IP_SEC

  The small glee at the 'where's the love' i detected in the original post (perhaps I injected it where it did not exist) made me a little sick. Sicker than the situation itself.

  They were all in shock. They all lost a brother unexpectedly it seems.

  JWs are human just like anyone else. They feel loss, pain, compassion.

  This post seems to go out of its way to make something JW specific out of a common human experience.

  Not picking just at you sacolton. It happens a lot here.
• 

  BFD

  Or maybe some think, no biggie. We'll see him soon enough in the paradise.

  I've seen it with my own eyes.

  BFD
• 

  sacolton

  Umm...did wife attempt to comfort him? I don't mean to be mean or anything, but...

  No. She went to breakfast with two others from her field service group and came home.

  Or maybe some think, no biggie. We'll see him soon enough in the paradise.

  Yes! Exactly! I've had my share of JW funerals and it's very unemotional because everyone has their mindset that they will see their dead loved ones "very soon" in Paradise Earth.
• 

  treadnh2o

  IP- Sacolton stated "they went about their business".If this is accurate that is where the lack of love is evident. Shock or no shock- Only one brother stayed with him? out of 2 groups of field service?
• 

  sacolton

  Wasn't there something about an elderly woman dying at one of the DC and they didn't stop the talk for her. They just continued as if nothing happened. All I can report is what my wife told me. I asked if anyone comforted him and she said one brother did. Everyone else went home. My wife and two others went to have breakfast and talk about the latest movies.
• 

  nvrgnbk

  I've had my share of JW funerals and it's very unemotional because everyone has their mindset that they will see their dead loved ones "very soon" in Paridise Earth.

  I've shed and seen shed many tears at JW funerals. I've seen more than one brother nearly unable to finish a funeral talk because of being overcome with emotion.

  What BFD said is real. The hope of seeing the loved one again in the new system, sooner rather than later, can and does cause a delayed mourning in some. But to say that they are all unfeeling or uncaring is not accurate.
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  IP_SEC

  If this is accurate that is where the lack of love is evident

  It could be evidence of many things.

  Have you ever lost someone? How do you feel? Helpless?

  Do you really think no one cared (ie lack of love)

  Have you ever been hit with something so emotionally draining you had nothing to say? Did that mean you didnt care?

  Have you ever been so hurt that you pretended nothing was wrong just to cope?

  Do you really think that only one person cared? (ie had love)

  No treadin, it is evidence of many possibilities. Not just one.

  PS: BFD, you know damn good and well that is just a coping mechanism.
• 

  IP_SEC

  Yes! Exactly!

  ok im pretty sure the glee i detected was real.
• 

  Mary

  He made his way to the parking lot and leaned over his car and cried. The congregation just went about their business and only one other brother went to comfort him in the parking lot. My wife said they cancelled the field service, but none of the group (except one) gave any support to the elder who lost his brother.

  That is so sad, but unfortunately, it's all too typical. I was talking to Gumby last week and he told me that one of his best friends died suddenly a couple of weeks ago. All his arteries were almost completely blocked and he died in his sleep. He had been trying to fake a reinstatement like Gumby, so he could associate with his family. Anyway, because he was not reinstated, they naturally never had anything for him at the KH, and when Gumby mentioned it to one of the elders, he brushed the whole thing off and asked Gumby if he was planning on attending the meeting on Sunday, or something stupid like that.

  Witnesses are trained to just not care that much when someone dies----even if they're an elder. They subconsciously use that scripture that says "let us not grieve as the rest do who have no hope", as gospel, and if you grieve too much, they have the crazy idea that you're lacking in faith and hope of the resurrection.

  I've told the story several times of what happened to us when my youngest brother was killed in a car accident. The one elder in particular I gave a verbal bashing to after what he said, and I've made sure I've told as many "worldly" people as possible, how Witnesses react to death. They are stunned and disgusted.

  I can't believe that after seeing this other elder sit there and ball his eyes out at the loss of his brother, that more didn't go over to at least give him a hug. Jesus Christ that poor guy would get more sympathy here on an apostate website than in the parking lot of the Kingdom Hall.........