I just realized that I've jumped into these forums without even an introduction. Where are my manners?
First of all I want to say that I was so happy to find this site. It's comforting to know that I'm not the "only one" that has issues with "that" religion.
I was raised in it. My dad became an elder from the beginning of that "arrangement". My whole family is still in. I remember being 19 and being questioned if I was still a virgin. There was NO reason for the inquiry. Just an elder's arrogance and sick mind. When I said yes I was they wanted me to go to the Dr to have it PROVED to my parents. Idiot. Like the medical field can PROVE that. I told him so too. That didn't go over quite so well. By this time my 3 closest girlfriends had gotten out. I was trying to hang on(mainly cause of my parent's). This same elder reasoned that I must be the "ringleader" in convincing the others to leave. And it goes on and on. I left for a while and came back about the time I was 22 or so. I got baptized at 24. HUGE HUGE mistake. I did it for the wrong reasons. Of course the fact that I got baptized and walked away makes me even worse in the Society's eyes. In the past 2 yrs I was finally able to have a wonderful talk with my parents. I was able to tell them that I loved them more than anyone and if I could do it for them I would. But I can't be a hypocrite. They actually accepted that and I have peace in my relationship with them. My sister refuses to have anything to do with me. I can deal with that. I have my parents and that's all I ask. I do wish they would "see" things but at their age(80) I just don't want them to lose the hope they have. If it brings them peace then I'm happy for that.
My stories go on and on as I know all of yours do too. I've seen so many things changed. The light keeps getting brighter?? I think the bulb burned out!!!!!!! I still have that gut wrenching knot come up some especially when we have huge events in the world(9/11 etc). So I have to keep telling myself that IF the end comes there's nothing I can do about it....I can't control it.....I can only hope for the best.....
Even at my age they still have an effect on me. I HATE that. I wish I could be done with it completely. That religion has made me feel like a social misfit. I never learned to date. I trusted too much. All the things we're supposed to learn and do as teens never happened. I would say I still have a lot of resentment. I want to let that go. Being on here is a great help.
I could go on and on but I'll end it here. I wish all the rest of you peace of mind and healing from what "that religion" (I have my own little phrase!) has done to you all.
Mandette