Sing Praises to Jehober

by gloobster 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • gloobster
    gloobster

    Last week when I was tipsy I ordered a copy of Sing Praises to Jehovah, and it came in the mail today. I hadn't heard some of the songs since I was a child, and I've rediscovered some of the lyrics. They are quite amusing (albeit disturbing).

    This is a classic everyone knows, song number 2.

    Obeying God Rather Than Men

    All things we do to please our God;
    The world we've left behind.
    The unbelievers think we're odd,
    But this we do not mind.
    And rather God than men obey,
    That is our firm resolve.
    Our lives and all we do each day Around him now revolve.

    Analysis. Yes, everyone thinks you're hella odd. And no, you obey men, not God.
    Rhyme Scheme: ABABCDCD

    Song number 53

    Theocracy's Increase

    Hail the Theocracy, ever increasing!
    Wondrous expansion is now taking place.
    Praise to Jehovah is sung without ceasing
    By those who walk in the light of his face.
    Long years ago saw the humble beginning
    As our Redeemer a lowly way trod.
    Now a great crowd join the remnant in bringing
    Praises to him at the right hand of God.

    Analysis: WTS HEIL!!! What else can you say?
    Rhyme scheme: ABABACAC (real switch up there)

    Song number 92

    Preach With Boldness

    Jehovah's servants need to be strong,
    Due to the pressures from Satan's throng.
    We get this courage from God's own Word,
    Also from sharing the things we have heard.
    God's Word gives power, the will to stick,
    And keeps us loyal 'through thin and thick.'
    Like the apostles and men of old,
    Let us be steadfast, rejoicing and bold.

    Analysis: You sooooooo ripped that off from Dr. Seuss!!!
    Rhyme Scheme: AABBCCDD (well, I admit, Dr. Seuss was a lot more creative than that)

    Does anyone have any comments on their favorite Jehober song/elevator hymn? Also, I would love to hear it if people have rewritten the lyrics to be more apropos to the reality of the WTS. I play the piano, maybe we can make some music. Start a youtube channel or something.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    I don't even know how that sxxx qualifies as "music". It is nothing more than rhymes intended to impress people that it is acceptable to be held into the Washtowel Slaveholdery, and do more of the work it wants people to.

    And then there is my least favorite Kingdumb Malady--song 18 about blessing the "Christian" Pedophile Brotherhood.

  • S3RAPH1M
    S3RAPH1M

    LOL!!!! care to do any more song summaries?

  • carla
    carla

    "The unbelievers think we're odd" -- is that for real? jw's really sing that?! or did you add that in? Sorry, I have researched the wt's, asleeps, old books from Russell to now and have not touched a song book, one can only tolerate so much you know. Must I research the bad lyrics too do you suppose?

  • sweetstuff
    sweetstuff

    LOL too funny! My personal fav...Kiss the Son, Lest God be angry and you perish in the way! WTF? God needs anger managment.

  • mind my own
    mind my own

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!! These are great! I love your analysis at the end...

    MMO

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Precious gifts from God our children are....

    They are gifts from God... he says USE THE ROD

    (I didn't make that up)

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    And what about the song that compares non-JW's to "BEES THAT WERE MOLESTED"

    They have a song that actually mentions molestation. Oh the irony.

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    My favourite was that old chestnut, "Do More Drugs... As the Nazarites Did"...

  • gloobster
    gloobster
    "The unbelievers think we're odd" -- is that for real? jw's really sing that?! or did you add that in?

    Nope, Verbatim from the songbook. It's great when you think about screwing with the lyrics but then discover that you really don't need to.

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