Why Don't Witness Parents Get Angry?

by metatron 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  metatron

  There are a great many puzzlements in regard to the meek and servile compliance of Witnesses but one area has long interested me.

  Specifically, why don't more Witness parents get angry at the do-nothing Watchtower Society? I can recall one somewhat deranged elder's wife who got away with demanding to speak to the assembled Body of Elders because she was worried that 'all of of our kids are falling out of the truth'. She had her say - and, of course, nothing happened.

  I know a Witness family in which all of the kids 'left the truth'. I tried to reason with the father that the Society does nothing for young people but nag them and disfellowship them. He was 100% 'loyal' and refused to blame them in any way. I thought: that's quite a burden to bear, brother, but you're welcome to it!

  I did know a brother who finally got angry after getting one kid after another df'd and the elders doing nothing beyond holding judicial committee meetings for his progeny. "What is so wrong with churches doing something for young people?" he demanded. No answer. He finally left the congregation , never to return.

  I know many Witness parents who never speak about their 'drifted-away' kids, as if they were dead. No updates, no news, no word of their achievements, nothing.

  I sometimes wonder if this sad, sick cult has people so bamboozled that aside from a few momentary tears, these people look at family life as just another responsibility, one more thing that they have to do, like attend meetings or go out in field service. They seem to let go so easily of what other - 'worldly' - parents would fight for : their children. Indeed, children seem to be treated as near enemies - troublemakers, future fornicators, persons to be dominated and steered away from higher education.

  The Society never liked children. You'd think that Witness parents would catch on, but no. What they have gained at great cost and sacrifice, they are so willing to walk away from. And this is Jehovah's way.......

  metatron
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  DJ_Q

  Of all the things that angered me about being JW was the treatment of young people, especially teenagers. This is one of the hardest times of your life, when you are finding yourself, and trying to deal with all type of new emotions, and you are in a non-mainstream religion that is constantly telling you that everything you feel and do is so wrong. When I was attending, I remember there were about 20 or so teenagers in my congregation. Let me tell you what happened to the majority of them: Jerry - married a non believer, not attending. Mario - got mixed up in drugs, may be in prison. Martin - married a non believer, not sure. Luli - 6 kids, in and out of marriages, not attending. Manoa - gay and living in Florida. Abbey - happy and living in Florida, not attending. Rita - married a non believer, not attending. David - gay and living in Texas. Gilbert - prison. Maggie - married a non believer, attending meeting, active JW. Martha - 4 kids, in and out of marriages, not attending. Gabriel - married a non believer, not attending. Ruth - working a a stripper, not attending. Debora - 3 kids, in and out of relationships, not attending. George - in and out of prison. Shandell - in and out of prison. Fred - not attending. Gonzo - not attending. Margaret - not attending. Sylvia - DF, not sure. I think about all these people from time to time and I think about maybe how different their lives could have turned out if they had been given some type of guidance, rather than being condemned for being young and inexperienced. I mean there was no youth ministry or pastor to give real life guidance to any of us. It was just, you are sinning for thinking about girls or questioning your sexuality. No guidance what so ever. No wonder so many of us fell by the wayside. DJ_Q
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  ex-nj-jw

  Yeah the jdubs are always so quick to tell you that if you leave joe hoover you will end up a drug addict, in prison, criminal, fornicating blah blah blah. Have they ever thought that most of the young one turn to this because when they leave their whole support systems is gone? All their family and friends turn their backs on them?

  Stupid cult

  nj
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  metatron

  And not just the lack of support does these kids in.....

  Think about the mindset of negativity, mistrust, and the dark future of Armageddon.

  a recipe for success? I think not

  metatron
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  Lady Zombie

  They don't get angry because the WTBTS has convinced them that if a child falls away, the fault lies within the child, not the parent and certainly not the bOrg.

  The bOrg does not feel a need to provide for the cult children because "having the truth is enough." Children are expected to behave as miniture adults and sit still for 2+ hours and listen to things they don't understand. Teenagers are seen as feral beasts and can only be managed with a heavy hand.

  I keep bringing this up, but when I was 14, I became severly depressed (b/c of growing up in this insane cult). Since JWs were not supposed to be depressed or have any mental health problems, some in the congregation decided I was demonized. I lost all my "friends" and instead of becoming enraged, my parents took the stance of 'they're wrong but you have to tolerate them and really, ultimately they're right.' So, I was "shunned" without being DF'd or DA'd!

  That of course pushed me over the edge and I attempted suicide which made things worse.

  Only when my depression abated, did these "true friends" and "spiritual brothers and sisters" talk to me again.

  What bullshit.

  My folks never once became angry even though 98% of what happened to me was because of the bOrg and other JWs.
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  sir82

  The thing that blows my mind is how quickly they can turn on & off their emotions.

  Johnny Jr. gets DF-ed, treat him with coldness. Day he is reinstated, hugs & tears. A year later, D-F'ed again, coldness again. Reinstated, immediate gushing of tears. Lather, rinse, repeat.
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  metatron

  Exactly so. That turning of emotion on and off is what's so scary. It makes you wonder if there is anything really there at all.

  metatron
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  Spectre

  Great topic, metatron.
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  hamsterbait

  Witlesses are allowed to feel emotion. But only the emotions the Witchtower says are acceptable.

  Witlesses are allowed to feel acceptable emotions about the things the Witchtower says are acceptable things to feel about.

  You are not allowed to feel disgusted that Moses commanded little girls whose families had been slaughtered by the Sons of Israel to be raped into submission.

  You are allowed to feel outrage that Achan kept a piece of pretty clothing after a day of killing mothers old ladies and old men, smashing their babies skulls against the doorposts of Jericho.

  Anger over how your child has been let down deceived by the Witchtower through YOU the parent is UNACCEPTABLE.

  Anger over how your child has brought disgrace on the Witchtower because he has seen the man behind the curtain, and disagrees with unproven self contradictory crap is acceptable.

  Anger over being forced by childless virgin(?) Iowa farm boys to reject and shun your child for choosing to live their OWN life authentically, making their own choices, come what may, is not acceptable.

  The suppressed emotions result in twisted thinking and behavior, which only pushes the child away even further. Anger displease Jehoobie and he will kill you SOON.

  If your kids are hurt, you hurt even more - but there is no acceptable way to express this in the La La Land of the Jehoobies Witless. I bet if most of the parents said what they really felt had been done to almost a whole generation of youngsters they would be DF to shut them up.

  After all the elderly will all be dead soon - unable to tell how they too were hoodwinked in their turn by the smoke and mirrors of the WT Babble and Trash Society.

  HB
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  metatron

  Another minor tragedy I've commented on before:

  Johnny Drifter leaves his congregation and gets into trouble. After some years pass, he heads back to his parents and apologizes. He then attends a meeting and encounters Brother Hardline. He happens to mention that he 'lived with' a girl and smoked pot while he was gone.

  He gets df'd almost immediately. He is still baptised, you see. His current feeling of loving repentance towards his parents may count for nothing. He gets shunned , anyway.

  There are countless tragedies being created by the legalistic and coldhearted attitude of the Watchtower Society. And I don't detect any movement in their endless minor adjustments to fix such sadness. So, your kid hates the 'truth' because she was molested and the elders covered it up? Sorry, brother we don't care. You say your son only got baptised because you threatened him with no car or college if didn't take the plunge? Sorry, brother, we don't care. We have rules to uphold.

  metatron