I have known many previous incarnations. And some? I walked the earth as Nostradamus, Uther Pendragon, Count Cagliostro and Rodrigo Borgia, although not in that order. I speak seventeen languages, I have played darts with the Dalai Lama and shared my sleeping bag with Rasputin, Albert Einstein, Lawrence of Arabia and George Formby. I was worshipped as a god by an East Acton cargo cult and once scaled Everest in a smoking jacket and plus fours to win a bet with Oscar Wilde. I travelled to Venus in the company of George Adamski, reinvented the ocarina and was burned in effergy by The Chiswick Townswomens Guild. I am also an expert swordsman, a gourmet chef, a world traveller, poet, painter, stigmatist, lifestyle guru to the gurus and hater of Bud Abbot. I can open a tin of sardines with my teeth, strike a Swan Vesta on my chin, rope steers, drive a steam locomotive and hum all the words to the works of Jesus Jones without becoming confused or breaking down in tears. I won a first at Oxford, squandered three fortunes, made love to a thousand women, imbibed strange drugs, sold my soul for Rock 'n' Roll, almost pipped Einstein for the Nobel Prize, i've been banned from every Chinese noodle parlour in West London, I am The Greatest Man That Has Ever Lived.
Paul