Sad...sorry about your pain Maddie...
Sad...sorry about your pain Maddie...
MADDIE- Try to understand that our family and relatives who are witnesses will put into force WHAT THEY ARE BEING TOLD at the moment. It IS subject to change at times. The one thing about the witness organization is it will flip-flop from one extreme to the other in views of shunning at times. I truly believe that your son and daughter in law are probably doing this because of what they may have recently been told at a district convention perhaps - I'm just putting out conjecture here - playing the devil's advocate. I would give it a few months , let it simmer down, and in time your son and daughter in law may soften up. I know it's hell dealing with their flipflopping views - but if you want to see your grandaughter then it is important to understand your son and daughter are mentally incapacitated , and sick due to " cult mind control".
I have gone through the flipflopping with my elder brother as well. In the fall of 2006 he told me I wasn't welcomed in his home unless I return to meetings and return to fullfilling my dedication to Jehovah - then just a year later in 2007 when our mother had back surgery when my wife and I showed up at the hospital, he and his wife welcomed us with open arms and smiles like nothing had ever happened ! So what I'm telling you is true - because of the " cult robotlike " personality our relatives can't have the capacity to really feel human emotions I believe , but they can revert back to the authentic real personality when something serious in the family shakes them out of their " controlled mode " . And I understand it is pure hell wondering which mode they are going to be in as well. So I feel for you. It is creepy and scary as hell watching these people veer in and out of authentic personality to " cult " personality . All we can do is hope in time they will totally shed the witness " cult " personality . It has happened to some. With my family I just avoid " witness topics " and stay on family subjects, hobbies, the weather, food, anything but religious topics. So- these are just ideas for you. Only you will know how much, or if you want to deal with this kind of relationship. It is exhausting, but doesn't necessarily have to remain permanent. Good luck, take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
That's terrible. I hope it works out.
Im so sorry Maddie. God love ya, so many of us in here are sharing what you feel. :( Damn this organization for destroying families!! Destroying lives!
My husband, my sister in law, her husband and her five kids...all JWs...shun my mother in law. Their MOTHER. And it is incomprehensible to me that that can occur. That the threat of retribution from the organization is so strong that people are forced to cut off ties with loved ones. My mother in law also just recently got such a Dear John letter from her daughter, saying "goodbye" to her with such finality I worried about my mother in laws sanity she was so distraught. But the odd thing is that my sister in law and her family talk to ME...and I am virtually on the same "rung" of the ladder that my MIL is in that I also disassociated, I am also still married to a JW and she knows that I was and am an active anti-witness campaigner. Even two weeks ago, we all got together at my non sister in laws home when my father in law (never a JW divorced frmo my MIL) came to visit and we shared photos from our JW days and laughed and had a wonderful time. So I stumped. I told my MIL that I think it is in their minds, a perceived threat to them that my MIL is a born again Christian (ironic aint it that because my MIL still HAS a faith and I dont that these purported Christians shun HER and not ME) and I dont really have a faith nor do I speak of it.
Give it some time...its a raw open wound right now. But by the WTS' own admission they cannot "sever" the ties between family members and so you will always be the mom, and grandma. (though I swear if there was a way to do that too they would...like bringing back public stoning) They arent shunning YOU honey...keep focused on that. They HAVE to do this or they wouldnt and when the Society collapses...God please let it be soon...they will all coming running back to us. Guaranteed.
hugs to you, LD
Maddie here is a big hug for you.
I well imagine the horrible pain you are suffering. It's rotten how JW's treat family when one decides to back off from the organization. I mean your not disfellowshipped or anything like that your just thinking things out about the organizaiton. I am prone to believe it is more the daughter in laws words rather then your sons.
If she has a tendacy to be nasty it may well reflect her view of you. I could be wrong. There is nothing more heart wrenching than having your own grandchild literally pulled away from you.
Why the sudden change with them. They seemed alright with it in the outset and now they are calling you an apostate. How much hatred is the organization pushing at its members. It seems to me that the wTS has a grappling hook into all of the witnesses and making them stay away from anyone who has anything anti- JW.
The WTS must be worried. People seem to be leaving in droves.
May I suggest you call them not as much but give them space and in a week call express your love for them and your grandbaby you'd like to see. How sad it is to use a child as a weapon to get you back in the organziation.
That is low and mean. My heart aches for you and I am hoping things will change for you. Is your son an elder? That could explain his actions towards you.
Oh please don't despair keep busy and strong and that way when you do call them up from time to time you are in control of the conversation not them putting you down.
All the best
I have been wondering how you are doing. So so sorry to hear about this cruel blow. You're welcome to visit us anytime.
I believe a mutual friend of ours is having a BBQ at her place soon, please come Maddie !!. Would love to meet you.
All the best and keep in touch.
I'm so sorry, that sucks. Your not even DFed. I don't have anything encouraging to say but I give a great big ((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))
I've been missing you Maddie... I remember when we talked previously you knew the consequences, but you had decided that you owed it to the all those associated with the cult, to say what was really on your mind.
It's insane to have loved ones feel they can be speak their minds yet we that know the truth must be silent. What has happened to their thinking? You can live with the fact you did the right thing, and I'm sure you've already asked yourself if the price was worth it, but at the very least you don't have worry your conscience with the burden of not standing firm and doing what was right. Good luck Maddie, I hope things always go well with you..
They know how to inflict pain, don't they? They know how to rip at the heart of a person.
They want your son to show no natural affection. That is wrong. They want him to show no respect for his mother. That is wrong.
Please give him some time and then let him know what he is doing is not from God's word the Bible.
Quandry - They sure do know how to rip at the heart of a person. I have no immediate plans to contact my son as it's so pointless and opens the wound for me.
Dawg - Thank you for missing me and your right in that I had to do what I considered to be right. I am now paying the price and being punished for being honest, which is how the borg works its evil. I hope things with your family are going well for you dawg.
The-Borg - I can't make any plans at the mo David but thank you for the invite, I would love to meet you too and see your new baby. Congratulations by the way!
Orangefatcat - I think you understand things very well. My DIL seems to want to keep my son to herself, especially where I'm concerned. I think its all to do with fear and insecurity. Like I said though, my son has to share responsibility as I am HIS mother not hers. I am trying to stay strong and thank you for caring
Anti-christ - Thank you for the big hugs