They won't leave me alone!!!! What can I do?

by almostbitten 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • almostbitten

    Hi! I'm new to this site.

    I'm not a JW but have studied with them largely because I wanted to know for myself what JWs believed and wanted to hear it from them, not from others (i.e. Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, etc.)
    Although I did it to educate myself, the lady I studied with saw me as a potential convert. We were already acquainted with one another before I knew she was a JW. Anyway, we had great Bible studies and I admit that I learned some good things from JWs, but there were doctrines they hold that I don't accept-- the 1914 Doctrine for one, and that Revelation Book!!!! As time went by, the people I studied with struck me as superstitious (especially concerning demons), anti-intellectual, and a bit inhumane and merciless concerning disfellowshipped persons. What's more, they always seemed surprised that I read the Bible on my own and that I was quite aware of many scriptures.

    After a few months of study, however, I began to experience internal conflicts, like "what if they are right?" Other times, I lamented on "What did I get myself tangled up with?" I was becoming ill and getting headaches. Finally, on a day I was due for a study session, I called my friend to temporarily put studying on hold until further notice. Now I see my error as I just should have told her I wasn't interested anymore. She used high pressure tactics over the phone to try to guilt trip me into continuing the studies and coming to the KH. She questioned my beliefs concerning trinitarianism (I'm not one, but they seem to think everyone else in Christendom is), why I didn't accept the 1914 prophecy, issues of dating (apparently she believes I just want to go out and get my freak on despite the fact that I was a celibate long BEFORE I began studying with her), and so on. She even asked me whether or not the friends at the Hall were friendly enough. What does that have to do with anything, as I don't really care about that?!?
    When I told her that I just wanted to stick with reading my Word and relying solely on God's guidance, she politely suggested that I read Proverbs 18:1!!!

    She finally relented and respected my request, but not for long. Just today, she showed up at my door with a WT, an Awake and a reminder that she was not giving up on me. She also said the friends at the KH really missed me and that she looked forward to the day when I would resume study (she's confident I will).

    I'm sorry, but I cannot be a part of an hierarchal structure that encourages the dumbing-down of oneself. I can understand humility, but not stupidity. I also cannot treat people like dirt the way many of them do when a person is disfellowshipped. The lady I studied with actually brags about how she cruelly ignores a DFed person should they smile at her or something. What's more, an organization is not the author of my salvation, but they seem to think so. The closed-mindedness and their being out of touch with reality really takes my breath sometimes.

    I just wanted to vent a little, but is there anyone here who has ever studied with JWs who came dangerously close to becoming one? What about feeling confused after being exposed to their teachings? Do any of the ex-JWs have any advice about ridding myself of them once and for all. I'd hate to be mean, but...

    Take care you guys!

  • Thechickennest

    Go ahead and be mean.....Your teacher is smothering you with dung. Cut them loose. Sounds like you have pretty well figured out the program outlined for you by the witnesses. Move on and count your blessings. Please do not become a JW...

  • BabaYaga

    You think this is bad? See how they'd treat you if you were baptized and said the same things... come to think of it, THAT would get rid of them for good, they would shun you!

    Hello and welcome!

  • almostbitten

    I DID bring up the issue of the 1914 prophecy, which doesn't add up with what historians have said about the actual date of the fall of Jerusalem. I"VE BEEN TRYING TO BE NICE is the problem. I know how much her faith means to HER and I have no desire to tread on that, but at her pressing about why I didn't believe in that prophecy, I just ended up telling her. That was not pretty. You could hear the panic in her voice as she tried to refute what I told her, stating that she would have to do more research. The problem with that is she will constantly go back to sources deemed creditable by the WTS!!! So she will never get anywhere with that. I guess I'm going to have to launch a full intellectual attack, hurt feeling or not.

  • nameless_one
    I guess I'm going to have to launch a full intellectual attack

    No you don't. An intellectual discussion with JWs about doctrine will be one-sided and never-ending. You accepted a study, it didn't work for you, make that the end of the story. Just tell them I'M NOT INTERESTED, I DON'T BELIEVE THIS CRAP, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE, and then get on with your life.

    They can't suck you further into this without your permission and participation. Just walk away.

  • nelly136

    the more you discuss doctrine with them the more you're inviting them back, its a nasty circle.

    if you don't want to have a bible study anymore you are under absolutely no obligation to justify your reasons.

    if you don't want them round anymore just tell them to go away and stay away.

  • lisavegas420

    Tell her you don't want to study anymore..but you still want to be her friend. That will get rid of her...she won't be able to count her time anymore.

    Sounds like you're smarter than the average.



  • Gopher

    Hello and welcome to the forum, ALMOSTBITTEN. I like that name!

    I don't have much to add to the above, except to comment on the Revelation book. Egads, they think that everything written in that book applies to the Watchtower Society in the 20th and 21st centuries. How egotistical is that? They stretch strange visions of John into self-aggrandizing doctrine. JW's get immersed in that kind of nonsense, thankfully you won't have to.

    Like a song said, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind - in the right fashion. Any temporary pain from telling your JW teacher to take a hike will be greatly rewarded with peace and quiet which you richly deserve.

    Oh -- and that part where she asked if the congregation was friendly enough -- that's because JW's believe their people are a better brand of Christian than others, and hope you'll feel the same (because that way you're showing signs of wanting to join). Actually even accepting a study makes a JW think you likely want to join them.

  • carla

    If you don't have the heart to tell her directly send a cease & desist letter to NY and you will be put on the 'do not call' list by the elders. Or tell her outright you agree with the apostates, that should scare her off. Ask her if she would be your friend if you never became a jw, doubtful.

    Here is a link to the cease & desist letter if you want it --

  • Jim_TX


    Just tell her that you've Disfellowshipped her from your Bible study program, because she's an apostate. (I wonder what the look on her face would be after that?)


    Jim TX

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