That's it! HISTORY
In researching my family's history the history of the earliest French settlers who often married natives (Ojibway in my family) I have found a sense of who I am in the stream of Canadian histrory.
Lady Lee: I understand your interest in history. I share it and went through a period where I was very interested in my families genealogy and history in England and Canada. I think I was also searching for a sense of belonging and a sense of "my place" in time.
Now,I have mixed feelings about it. We tend to construct many stories about who we are that are based in a past that no longer exists. Sometimes I think it is all an illusion that those who have lived and died in the past have anything to do with me and my "identity". I try to live in the present for the most part and not think about the past too much. Learn from it and move on.
I don't know if this ambivalence, being torn between wanting to claim a family history for ourselves and at the same time wanting to abandon the past and disavow it as irrelevant to my life "now", is unique to people who have come from abusive families or is just something all humans share? I'd be interested in how other people view their family and national history.