Unrealized hopes and dreams - crappy reality of life

by tartarus 36 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  tartarus

  I am thankful to Jehovah's witnesses who taught me the Bible. I still believe it is the word of God. I have studied other spiritual traditions and have compared different teachings and haven't found one that gives such a positive outlook on the future. You have to admit its an attractive sales pitch the Bible makes. However, I have a problem with the conditions, the fine print, the details. And devil is in the details as we know. I have been through the lowly lows of life so many times that I didn't want to live at all. Nevermind living forever. Paradise life wasn't even in the picture. At this point in my life I find myself still praying, hoping and wishing for it, but not really believing it will ever be here. All the signs are there on the world stage, life is getting harder (especially if you're uneducated witness with no employable skills like me). I'm interested in knowing how others are finding their life without the possibility of living forever (or still believing it'll happen anyways in some distant future). And how do you deal with the present reality without having the Watchtower as a support system if you're out or on the way out (or still attending, but tired of "waiting of Jehovah" to solve all your problems)?

  Maybe it's too much for one post. I'm finding it hard to move on. Having come back once, I'm not inspired by the growth (only the poor and the immigrants seem to show any interest at all) or the conditions under which the watchtower "allows" us to exercise our christian freedom. Those who do well in life are really content with the present and don't care about the world's future, just their own. I wish I had in past showed the same attitude that I once condemned - live for the present and not worry too much about what will happen hundred years from now (humans don't live this long anyways). Has this worked well for those of you who have left years (decades) ago? Do you still miss "the dream" that you once yourself pitched to others as the solution to all their problems?
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  Satanus

  I don't miss the wt solution to all the world's problems, killing everybody. I miss the feeling of belonging, though. Living in the moment does reduce suffering and worry. Afterall, we are not responsible for fixing the problems of the world, whether it be hunger, massacres, crappy weather, etc. Our first priority is living our lives as well as we can, treating others in an equitable manner.
  
  S
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  chrisjoel

  Hey my fellow Canadian,

  Im glad i know the truth about the truth. The dream is just a dream and Ive since changed my opinion about the Bible itself. Now Im agnostic. I would never haver believed I would have changed so much. I was blissfully ignorant before and NO i would rather be enlightened than to continue the charade. Im much happier for it. But my parents are immigrants and they hang on to the religion like a cripple does his crutches. It gives them something to believe, and even though i know the harm the JWs can do, In the end, as long as theyre happy they will pass away with that dream so ..."so be it."
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  BabaYaga

  Hearty welcome Tartarus!
  
  Just take baby steps. It isn't easy changing your life and world-view around completely. Be good to yourself, take it easy. Take the time to ease into a different lifestyle, don't do things that make you uncomfortable, the comfort will come in time.
  
  And trust in this: You are in the right place. The more you learn, the more you will be prepared to learn and change. It is a process.
  
  Love,
  Baba.
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  Quandry

  Welcome!!

  Yes, alot of us feel pretty much the way you do....my hubbie and I were "in" over thirty years...same complaints....no education, low paying jobs. Yes, devastating feelings, takes time to work through them. I'm in college but at 56 the prospects are a bit daunting.

  However, you are young still. Read about some of the success stories of many on this forum. Get in school!! Determine that the rest of your life will not be spent sitting and waiting. Get pencil and paper and write down the goals that you have. Yes-right this minute!!

  Now, if you've done that...get busy!! You can do it-and get back with us as you are progressing.
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  jamiebowers

  I read your first post here and your biography--WOW, what an interesting life so far! Living in the Soviet Union, Israel and now Canada, you are at least bilingual. How many languages do you speak? And you've enrolled in a college course. Good for you. An education will open up your world even more. You are young and have a chance to explore careers, education and your own personal philosophies. If you haven't already, please get help for your depression. You have nothing to fear here and will never be condemned for your thoughts or sexual orientation as you experienced as a jw. Keep posting, and let everyone know how you're doing. Welcome!
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  donny

  Welcome to JWD! Like you, I became disallusioned in the last couple of years as a Witness, and even more so the first few after I left when I realized that an afterlife is really just a dream created by some folks along time ago as a way to keep people in line. Back in those days it would be very hard for a ruler to control masses of people without having them believe that the ruler has a "God" on his side watching and recording everything you do and if your bad, watch out because if the ruler does not catch you, then "God" will. After I came to terms with that reality, I have learned to enjoy life in the present instead of sacrificing any and all joy for something always in the future stream of time. So get out and enjoy life!!! After all, Life is a rock, but the radio rolled me!
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  tartarus

  Thanks for your kind words of support and wisdom y'all. I was never much of a preacher to be honest. I found the preaching more of a public display of pretend righteousness and an exercise in futility. I liked talking and sharing the Bible informally or referring to some Bible history fact in casual conversations so as not to annoy people needlessly early weekend morning. I loved the Bible's message of paradise. I grew up without a dad so Jah become the real father figure I never had. Moving on is sure hard. I've been back and forth before. I don't think I'll come back this time.
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  jwfacts

  Welcome.
  
  The Watchtower thinking process is very damaging; constant negative thinking in order to build up desire for the future paradise. I too have struggled with depression, and have to wonder if it was exacerbated by being raised a JW. It is good on getting out of the cult to see a psychologist and receive training on how to replace negative thinking with positive. I saw a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and it helped me immensely. The goal of most people is to be happy; it is pointless to let other emotions take control. To stay happy you need to train your mind not to think in a way that will lead you to spiral into depression.
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  trevor

  Welcome to the board tartarus

  Faced with the complexity of modern life and the responsibility of making decisions on moral or political issues, many people look for guidance. The Watchtower Society offers this totally. There is a certain feeling of security to be found in an organization that makes all decisions for its members.

  To be surrounded by people who think the same, share the same goals, hopes and activities, can remove much of the uncertainty in life that many find threatening. These straight mental corridors suit some people but to others they are too restrictive and become a prison.

  It seems that you miss the direction and certainty that you once believed you had. It was an illusion. Life is uncertain and there is no set plan. What you are struggling to cope with is FREEDOM after escaping from a prison.