Elder calling around

by Am ha·’a'ret 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • Am ha·’a'ret
    Am ha·’a'ret

    Hi all, I'm a new member as I've not completely left the org yet and being a "good lil JW" would never have looked at a site like this previously! There is one elder in the cong who calls around every so often to "chat" as I only stopped attending meeting a couple of months ago. I've spoken to him about certain subjects - eg the UN thing and the misuse of quotes - but he has no useful answers for me. He's offered to call over again and I'm not sure what to do about it. Some of my extended family as still witnesses and there's a part of me that would accept his offer so my family think that I'm giving things a fair shot. But after reading some stuff on here, part of me is terrified of having him round in case he's looking for ammo! Any thoughts?

  • New light for you
    New light for you

    hello, nice to have you here!

    Feel free to "get your feet wet" so to speak here. You'll see that yes, they do want you to say the wrong thing. It seems the WORST thing you can say, that will get you DFed immediately is that you DONT believe the society anymore, DONT believe it's gods "spirit directed" organization... and your toast.

    Elders wanted a meeting with us, we "differed". hoping they forget about us, but we know it will come back again soon i'm sure.

    I'm in a similar situation... once my husband had issues, we talked to the elders , but they had NO answers. So we looked for the answers. Found them all. Keep on the board, you'll find all your answers. Keep looking around the internet. you'll find information on reputable sites.

    Welcome!

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    Welcome to the board! I am sure others will give you some good pointers on how to deal with your situation. By the way, if you do not mind, please explain your username.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    Hi Am a ha ret: Play it cool - let him come over, thank him for his concern and send him on his way.

    welcome to the board

  • Casper
    Casper

    Welcome Am....

    eg the UN thing and the misuse of quotes - but he has no useful answers for me

    Bingo...! And I'm sure he never will...

    I agree with the advice given by above posters...

    We look forward to learning more about you, hope you enjoy your experience here at JWD.

    Cas

  • ramon
    ramon

    I just sent you a Private Message. To read it look for MESSAGES in tiny print at the top on the left of your screen.

    You could invite him to a meal and when he pops the big question you can handle it like this:

    Busybody Elder: "Do you still consider this Jehovah's organization?"

    You: "Why did you ask that? You don't think I'm an apostate do you!?"

    Busybody Elder: "Uh, ... I didn't say that. Don't get defensive!"

    You: "Defensive! So that's how it is. I don't want to hear another word, please. Let's just keep it peaceful."

    Busybody Elder: "Well, uh... duhhhhhhh."

    That way he, not you, will be the one on trial. If he keeps trying to press you, just leave the room, shaking your head at him.

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Welcome.

    I like your name. Many on this forum have been viewed as such by the WTBTS. Please stick around and tell us more about yourself.

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    If you want to keep your contacts, ignore this guy. Either that or play along with his "encouragement". Whatever you do be very careful if he wants to bring another Elder!!!. They will try to get their "two witnesses" against you if they can.

  • garybuss
  • wildflowermeadow
    wildflowermeadow

    I have an elder who calls me...just to talk. I'm not much of a phone talker. I'm pleasant, but get off the phone quickly. He asks how I am, but always talks about inconsequential stuff. I keep conversation superficial and don't tell him my doubts or inner feelings, 'cause I know it wouldn't be wise in more ways than one.

    As a single sister, I kinda get that interest vibe from him. If they call or come around by themselves, particularly if you're a single sister like I am, I think it's of their own initiative and not any instruction from the BoE. I'm not sure, but you should consider that and handle him accordingly.

    He rushes over at meetings to speak to me and his wife looks at me as if she wants to strangle me. Sheesh. Keep your man on a tighter leash, lady.

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