Today at the Watchtower..........

by oneairhead 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • oneairhead
    oneairhead

    OK, here is the update on this situation.......

    My wife and I drove home with no indication that much was wrong other than she was tired.

    We got home and she laid down to take a nap during which i wrote the above thread.

    Before she got up I started preparing dinner, and she walks into the kitchen with the look that I don't see very often. That stressed mad look that people get when you say something about their mother or father.

    She tells me that she thought I was actually paying attention and that made her feel good. I was underlining the answers until she determined that I was not underlinging the answers after all but was picking apart the watchtower. She also made some statements that were totally supposition saying that even though I feel like her beliefs are crap...... Stuff that is totally not true I respect her beliefs.

    She said some other things out of rage that were not true about the way i feel about things.

    So, after that little outburst, I said let's sit down, very calmly.

    i explained that there has been a huge elephant in the room for a long time and out of repsect for her I chose not to address it. But i am very happy that we were now about to address it. I explained that I know the pain that she is feeling because I felt the same pain when i found out some of things I now know about the WBTS.

    I also explained somewhat tearfully about how i felt like this organization was going to be the death of my father due to the amount of stress that it puts on him, along with all of the other responsibilities he has. My mother also devotes most of her retirement to it ruining cars on these dirt roads here and using this time to promote a religion that may or may not be the chosen one.

    I also was able to just touch on a few things that i have found in my research. Also brought her up to date on some of the recent changes coming down the pipline.

    She of course tried to throw at me that Satan was just using these cunning arguments to deceive me. But I said to her what arguments? All I have looked at are the facts. I said there are documentation to prove these things. just the actions of the organization itself prove a lot of things. I also told her that the WTBS changes the watchtower after it is written when the bound volumes come out etc...

    I could not tell weather any of these things caused her to think or appealed to her more, but she definitely was not zoning out when I was speaking with her, which was good. She also was not actively trying to refute every little thing i said.

    She made a comment when it was over that she appreciated that i did not get upset when she confronted me.

    I think some progress was made. I am going to give her Barbara Anderson's introduction to her new book to read and see where that goes. It really shows Barbara's credentials on the subjects she speaks about and see what I can cultivate.

    At some point in time i am going to introduce her to JWD and I may or may not post under a different name so that she does not feel exposed.

    Keep your fingers crossed. There was of course a lot more that we spoke about but maybe if you ask that right questions I will think of some more things to say later.

    One

  • Eyes Open
    Eyes Open

    Sounds positive, oneairhead. Well done.

    Keep calm, assure her of your love and devotion to her, and go slow, leaving her to make conclusions.

  • still_in74
    still_in74

    I had that WT at the DA

    My wife asked me what my favourite part of the assembly was..... I said "lunch"

    She didnt like that...........

  • S3RAPH1M
    S3RAPH1M

    Your wife got up when she saw a "carrot" drawing, ROFL!!! There must have been some serious issue that lead up to that!

  • flipper
    flipper

    ONEAIRHEAD- Good job with your wife ! You never know what part of what you said may register with her. I understand how witness wives can get emotional- I was married to one for 19 years till 1998. One time she threw a Bible at me literally ! And told me I was controlled by Satan ! And she pounded her fists on glass mirrors causing glass to fall all over the floor , because I'd be working out of town during the Memorial ! So, nothing too radical ! LOL! Sounds like your JW wife is a bit calmer ! Good luck to you with her, in time your efforts may pay off ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Oneairhead, good going you handled your wife upset with you well. You didn't make it a personal challenge. Talking to her in a way that averts the problem away from you as a couple but a problem of how you feel the WTS is treating you both is good. The suffering and hardship of your parents was very good. It's going to be important to make sure you reassure her you love her. I know from past experiences that if she feels your leaving the religion she will assume it means your leaving her too. Mentally it seems to go hand in hand when it involves religions with high control issues. If she can feel your questioning the religion but not your marriage she won't feel as terrified. I wish you nothing but positive & good things in your process of easing your wife out of the JW's.

    Balsam

  • NikL
    NikL

    You are doing better than I did when I was in a similar situation with my wife years ago. I was always one who raised my voice whenever I was frustrated. Hard to stay calm. Anyway, keep doing what you are doing and stay calm and love her for the person she is in spite of the ORG. She may listen to you or she may not. She may leave the troof or stay. Mine stayed but we are doing pretty well in spite of the less than perfect marriage. I have seen this sort of thing escalate and it can rip couple apart. Be careful. I wish you the best. Nick

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    I am getting more forward but no where near the like of otwo who has discussions with his wife that he posts on here.

    Let me know if you mentioned me. I can boost up your thread replies.

    We would all love to see our loved ones get free. I had a loooooooooong
    time of not saying anything to my wife. You are doing awesome. She
    doesn't look to "turn you in" and there isn't much there to turn you in for.
    As time goes on, you will find openings to say something.

    Great job.

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