Faders: When You Left, did Anyone Give a Damn?

by shamus100 45 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  ataloa

  LearningMore, you really did hit everything just right, didn't you?

  I'm sure it was a big relief to the elders when I stopped going. I wouldn't shut up about all the things going on that were not right, and they were never willing to talk to me privately about my concerns.

  Once my BS conductor was making the rounds visiting everyone in the study. On my night, I called him and told him what I wanted to discuss and exactly where it was in the awake magazine. He said he would read it right then. That night, when I tried to bring it up, he cut me off cold and went on to deliver his cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all sermon he had prepared. Made my blood boil.

  I left right after that, and several months later he stopped by the house out of the blue and my husband let him in. I just left the room. I'm sure he went back and told everyone I wouldn't accept help. That was his standard answer for everything. I moved away and never had to run into any of them in town.
• 

  changeling

  Family got their feathers ruffled, but then calmed down. One elder tried to help us. Nobody else gave a damn. Been over a year since we've been to a meeting and all is well.

  changeling :)
• 

  blondie

  It all depends on the fade timeline to some degree. We just stopped going, we didn't ease off meeting attendance. There was a flurry of "interest" for about 6 months. We had caller ID and did not answer any calls from jws. Eventually, it tapered off. We occasionally see jws from the old congregation and they are polite, some friendly, but little attempt to have us come back. Your reputation in the congregation before your fadeout determines things to a great degree.
• 

  Quandry

  Very little interest in us. We were deemed to be "causing divisions." This after my husband was an elder for twenty years and we were ones who always cleaned, took our talks, used our car, etc.
• 

  Hecklerboy

  I made my decision on day at a CA. Just got up in the middle of the session and walked out. Greatest feeling ever. I remember it was a beautiful sunny day and I smiled all the way to the car. I've never been back. A couple of people have ask about me and my family tries to get to rejoin from time to time but no one seems to really care if I'm there or not. Which is just the way I like it.
• 

  ldrnomo

  We started our fade a year and a half ago and we are happy to say nobody cares oh they say they do but actions speek louder that words which makes us quite happy they are leaving us alone. It keeps my blood pressure down.

  LD
• 

  minimus

  Good question, Shamus!

  I think most were shocked when I resigned as an elder and I did the fade thereafter and within a year I was slowly but surely gone. I picked the summer time to finally fade away and by the fall everyone seemed to figure I just wasn't coming back. Some were very very sad by my departure but I always would express my hellos and then I'd be off so no one could really nail me down.
• 

  shamus100

  I made my decision on day at a CA. Just got up in the middle of the session and walked out. Greatest feeling ever. I remember it was a beautiful sunny day and I smiled all the way to the car.

  I walked out of quite a few meetings like that. A person can sometimes just take so much, then that's enough... thanks for sharing!

  Isn't it amazing that these people preach like mad in the field circus, yet they're own sheep leave and they just don't kick up a fuss with most? I guess it's because they can't count time? Or is it because they're secretly envious that you can leave and they have to stay?
• 

  MissingLink

  Not at all. When we were in I noticed that the friends who would stop by once or twice a week would NOT stop by that week if we missed a meeting. It was kind of an unwritten rule. They had to dole out this punishment to each other. Skip meetings for a month or more and never hear from them again.
• 

  Fadeout

  I'd missed meetings for about three months without hearing from anyone. I came back and discovered my magazines had been cut off... name taken off the box and everything. I took the hint and have stayed away.

  A few halfhearted attempts by elders to talk... made appointments to meet but they stood me up. I was relieved. Nothing since and it's been two years!