UPDATE : We Have 3 Choices (page 2)

Robert7

Wow, feels like deja vu! My wife (NewLightForYou) and I are in the EXACT situation, and will meet with the elders this Saturday. We're still contemplating whether to just tell them our reasons and DA, or just play it cool and fade.

It's hard because there are great reasons for either path. I would like to fade just to be able to talk to some friends on occasion, but they will label me bad association, so why should I care to talk to them? If we DA, then we can ve liberated and move on with the rest of our lives.

It's tough...

milligal

You've already gotten great advice, all I can add is what I felt when I was df'd; it was the greatest relief of my life to be able to live freely with my choices and not answer to anyone three times a week, no one knocking, no one calling- complete freedom. Mind you, it was painful and I had to rebuild, BUT if you're going to rip the bandaid off better to get it over with quickly.

That's just my experience I agree with wtwizard it's a highly personal decision. Good luck : )

mind my own

Your certainly lucky that you have each other b/c overall no matter what happens you at least have the support of your spouse! That is a lot more than a lot of people have.

The decision is up to the both of you. You have to do what is right for you. Fading is usually the easiest thing to do b/c "they" can't do anything to you. It depends on your circumstances though. You could start off by fading as you make your final decision.

Good luck and keep us posted!

MMO

shamus100

That all depends on you - I didn't like playing by they're rules, so I just left and never went back.

Some like that closure of DAing or being DF'd.

sacolton

I vote to write the letter of disassociation. Take a stand! Wash your hands from this false religion! Put all your reasons in the letter and maybe send it out to EVERYONE, so that you are doing your part to help others to "wake up".

My thoughts are with you.

parakeet

It's tough making choices when previously they were all made for you by the WTS. Only you can decide the best course of action. You know your family and friends better than we do. Good luck and welcome to the ranks of "apostates" and apostaphiles.

Doubting Bro

PWP - Wow, that was quick! I have to admit I'm quite jealous of you right now!!

I agree with the poster who said to make a list of the pros and cons of each. Its just so awesome that your wife is of the same mind. As others have said, do what you are most comfortable with since you are the one who has to live with the decision.

I'm really curious how you went about opening your wife's eyes. Did she already have secret doubts?

Eyes Open

Take your time and make the decision on what's best for the pair of you when you are ready.

Please your wife will join you in the real world. She must be some woman to be able to make up her mind about something so deviously pervasive in such a short time.

Quirky1

If you have family in you might want to just walk away and try to fade.

Just a thought.

LovesDubs

You are still an elder tho right? If you just start a "fade" thing you will have to have an explanation of why you are stepping down right? I dont suppose you could start talking loudly about how great COLLEGE is about now eh? :)

You have a lot of family and friends in...and if you DA or get DF you wont be able to reach them with any kind of information. So maybe if you could slide out gradually and tell more people about what you AND the wife know to be the truth before they close the door on you?

Either way...I hope you are feeling the weight being lifted off your shoulders.

UPDATE : We Have 3 Choices

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