AA..Ding Dong round 2

digderidoo

I have posted on here previously about my problems with alcoholism and the fact that i have attended AA meetings so i thought i would start a thread to post where i am at now.

I first attended at the beginning of January and went 7 weeks without a drink, i then had a weekend away and got drunk. I then went another 7 weeks until my birthday (April 19). Since then i have felt that i could control my drinking within the confines of a local program.

This however hasn't really worked for me, i find that i do not really enjoy going out drinking and trying to pace myself. I always have ended up drunk and cannot stop at just one or two. If i do stop at one or two i find that i for the rest of the night thinking about another drink.

With this in mind i have decided to attend AA again and go to a meeting tomorrow night, i think abstinence is the only forward for me. I went out on Friday night for a friends birthday with the intention of only having a few, but ended up spending the weekend recovering.

The fact of the matter is, is that i was at my happiest not drinking for those two periods of 7 weeks. I had a peace of mind, i had future plans and was generally in a happy frame of mind. In controlled drinking these things have gone and i know i can get them back through abstinence. I would like to thank all here who have PM'd and replied to my AA threads, but in particular to those who are in AA themselves as you can see that this is the way forward.

I do not regret attempting to control my drinking as i feel that this is something that i have needed to do if only to prove to myself that i can't do it. I hope that last Friday will be my last drink, however i know that this is a long journey. Someone said to me once that their life seems to go fast, but life of sobriety goe's at a slower rate, bit of a weird one but i can see it.

Paul

DJK

If you can't abstain from going out with your friends, my first suggestion,,, try my second suggestion, drink nonalcholic drinks.

Good luck and never give up.

digderidoo

Thanks DJK, but it's impossible for me to watch friends drinking and for me not too. It's kind of like sending a toddler into a sweet shop with no money. So it has to be your first suggestion, at least till i feel strong enough for a night out without a drink. In the mean time there are other ways of socialising without a drink, this is something i have learned during my first few weeks.

It's very different over here than to other cultures. Friday and Saturday nights are all about going out and getting bladdered.

Paul

momzcrazy

I was drinking very heavily, nearly everynight. I started personal therapy, and slowly lost the need to drown the pain with alcohol. That's all I was doing. It is horrendous digging up the pain and analyzing it's cause. But I feel so much lighter. I don't NEED to drink anymore.

I wish you strength for the long road ahead of you. Don't give up, even if you fall off the wagon.

momz

anewme

Thank you for bringing up this issue. Leaving the cult is so emotional for many that they use alcohol to drown their heavy thoughts and hearts.

For some of us it is a true poison. It is also a humiliator. When I realized that alcohol was just doing to me what the Watchtower Society was doing, I saw it for what it is---NO FRIEND OF MINE!

When I got angry, I got sober. And I got busy turning my life around with a vengeance!

Hence the name....... A New Me!

garybuss

I actually like Witnesses better than drunks. I've never had a Witness throw up on my shoes.

Quirky1

Hey Didg, may I ask what you drink or drank?

digderidoo

Hey Didg, may I ask what you drink or drank?

Of course you may. Lager, normally when i am out, wine usually for home.

Paul

Beda

Hey Digeri, my drinks of choice were beer and wine, too, because hard liquor just got me drunker faster and I didn't enjoy myself as much. Been alcohol free since 1997 when I had a brief relapse during the death throes of my last marriage. Prior to that night (2 or 3 shots of everclear -- tried to down the bottle cut couldnt) I had 6 years 11 months a 8 days of continuous sobriety, and worked the Program of Alcoholics Annonomous as if my life depended on it -- because it did. I no longer was a matter of how I felt when I was drinking or not drinking -- the fact for me was I couldn't drink and get drunk , only sick, and I couldn't not drink! I needed to drink!!! I've never lost a job to alcoholism; I always was well employed. I've never (yet) had a DWI, but deserved 1000 of them. What I lost was my [i]self[/i] and my health. AA isnt for everone. So I'm going to suggest you also look at http://www.rational.org Many have found peace and hope there, too. If you find yourself back where you're at after working on Rational Recovery, put your head and heart into the AA program. Do 90 in 90, and then do another 90/90. Get a sponsor who will WORK the steps with you. A sponsor is your guide to the AA program of recovery, not a buddy you can wine (pun intended) to. The fact of alcoholism is [b]90%[/b] of us die of the disease, be it cirrosis, or auto accident, or suicide, or a fall in the kitchen while drunk, or bleeding to death because an alcoholism caused vericose vein in your esophogus ruptured. Bottom line -- no matter what disease you have, it's YOUR CHOICE what YOU decide to do about it.

Beda

(sorry -- i'm on firefox and I guess the software still doesn't like firefox)

AA..Ding Dong round 2

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