Are the "Converted" ever really accepted by those "Born In ?"

by Casper 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • yesidid
    yesidid

    When I read your post title I thought "What a strange question".

    I was third generation Witness and I don't ever remember even thinking there were two "types" of Witnesses.

    I am not saying it doesn't happen. It's just that I never saw it happen or even thought of it as a possibility.

  • Casper
    Casper

    Yesidid,

    Maybe it's because you were in a more loving congregation than I. Or there is the possibility that you have to be a "Convert" to really understand what it feels like to be on the outside looking in...

    Either way, thanks for your thoughts.

    Cas

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep

    I'm glad I found this thread!

    No...the converted are never really accepted by those born in. I didn't come up with my screenname Lonelysheep for nothing.

    It felt as tho, the once worldly ones, were watched more closely and more was expected of them to prove their faith.

    Absolutely. You have more to prove to their new standards since we were new. It was like rules were made up as we went along.

    White Dove--LOL at your comment. That is exactly how I felt the born in looked at me!

    Wildfell-After you have given up family, friends, work and education opportunities and to a large extent, your identity, it's very discouraging to be treated like that.
    Being a convert is very lonely.

    This is a truly powerful, stupid but sincere move to make in life, and something I never felt born ins (while in at any cong) even wanted to understand or acknowledge. I gave up my life for them. Forget about what they may have been secretly envious of my having had experienced....I threw it away for the same bull$hit faith they lived each day, too. Give me more respect if anything. I was proving how bad the world really was! Don't push me away.

    Sass my frass-It's probably because no convert could possibly buy it all; they'd have had enough time as an adult already to have been able to flex their conscience and intelligence on a few things. Surely they wouldn't be comfortable with surrendering every choice in their life.

    Exactly...great choice of words! Things couldn't really stick but for so long.

    Snoozy-What I myself have noticed now though, is that the "Born In's" seem to have the most hostility when they leave the religion.

    Yes, generally speaking. I think we can agree it's understood but at what point does one set boundaries for themselves. Message boards are so very minor in perspective (as for taking breaks b/c they're bringing a person down) compared to real life hostile actions.

    Another statement is:

    How many Converted then go on to live with Atheism after leaving the JWs?

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    I converted at age 17. I was never as accepted in the group as those who were born in as. I was given the privileges and appointments that anybody else could get, even receiving such things easier than those born in. But in regards to social benefits I never was fully accepted. People liked to look at me and think "that's great what he's doing" but had no desire to become my friend or a part of my life. It made it much easier to leave.

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep
    People liked to look at me and think "that's great what he's doing" but had no desire to become my friend or a part of my life. It made it much easier to leave.

    Yes. In hindsight, it spelled out how unhappy they are inside.

  • carla
    carla

    I have wondered about this as well and asked my convert jw if he didn't think the born ins were different around him? (ie-hypocritical) His response was he 'hoped so!" He hoped they would watch what they say and be more spiritual around him. He of course missed my entire point and felt his being there was a good thing and he just helped to strengthen his brethren This was after my relaying many stories told by born ins here and elsewhere.

  • blondie
    blondie

    I did notice that when considering "privileges" for men in the congregation, the discussion was shorter when they were part of jw family. They had fathers, uncles, brothers, who could vouch for their "spirituality" plus it was assumed they had escaped contamination by the "world."

    It was much the same when it was a family where the father was not a jw. The wife and children were considered more of a "spiritual" danger and too many "spiritual" jws would avoid association with them.

    Blondie

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