Are the "Converted" ever really accepted by those "Born In ?"

by Casper 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Casper

  My old hall was made up of mostly 3 large families, with some extended added in. All seemed to be related in one way or another, several generations represented.

  Coming in from the world at the age of 28, I never really felt that I belonged there. I stuck it out for 13 years. Aux. pioneered and married an MS, I still always felt like an outsider.

  It felt as tho, the once worldly ones, were watched more closely and more was expected of them to prove their faith. I saw many come and go, most of those were from the world also.

  Comments would be made such as,"Well, what did you expect, they were worldly at one time", or something like "They never stay around very long".

  One sister commented that she "Would never marry a man who had at one time been part of the world...You just can't trust them!"

  Those comments hurt at the time, I never said anything, even tho they made me feel like it was pointless to keep trying.

  I guess I proved them right as well, since I also left.

  Was it possible to truly be accepted or were we to always be held at arms length...?

  Cas
• 

  White Dove

  I used to think of them as wee beginners and questioned their baby milk faith. They could never know as much as I.
• 

  flipper

  CASPER- I know in my 44 years in the witnesses- I always accepted and treated those " converted" just the same as those " born " in. That sister who told you she could never" marry a man who had been in the world " never met some of the sick and twisted " born ins" I new throughout my tenure as a witness. I think born ins were more twisted than people converted by far. Wait a minute- I was a born in. LOL! I promise I'm not twisted though- not too much ! LOL! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  Gopher

  I think that some of the JW's are cliquish and exclude those with whom they don't feel comfortable.

  I was born in, but really never in a clique. I tended to be excited when a newcomer came in, it seemed like a new possibility for friendship for me. (I'm speaking just for myself.)
• 

  wildfell

  I found born-in jw's are an exclusive club. They don't trust those 'from the world' and definately do keep them at arms length. I was a convert from early adulthood. (slapping forehead- what was I thinking!)

  I remember repeatedly hearing comments refering to converts such as "the quicker they come in the quicker they leave", or "they'll be gone in 18 months". Converts were judged harder and scrutinised far more closely for years after converting. After you have given up family, friends, work and education opportunities and to a large extent, your identity, it's very discouraging to be treated like that. So many converts do leave and then the born-in jw's say "they didn't have the truth in their hearts. We knew it."

  Also, as a convert, you have no family in the congo, no one to turn to if things go pear shaped in the congo, no uncles/fathers who are elders. Jw's know that you are on your pat malone (alone) and you have no-one to intervene on your behalf if they treat you badly. Being a convert is very lonely.

  Maybe it's a result of the brainwashing that the world is an evil place? So anyone from the world may also be evil? It's only after you have been around for 20 plus years that they figure maybe your ok?

  Maybe it's a result of jw's being a small religion? You find the same thing happening in country towns all over the world. For example, I understand that some villages in Britain will not accept you until your family has been in the village for at least two generations.

  Similar thing in Australia (although most white Australians have only been here a total of two generations LOL), in country towns you are not accepted unless you grew up in the area. They just don't trust you and what may be lurking in your genes.
• 

  Casper

  White Dove,

  I think that's true to some extent, the newly converted only knew the basics, so to speak. Yet were expected to die for it anyway, if the situation arose.

  ---

  Mr. Flipper...

  I agree some of the older "men" in the congregations were more twisted, but their families never realized it or knew how much was going on. But a worldly person was viewed as "Tainted" from the get go.

  ---

  Gopher,

  I agree a family can be cliquish, which happens of course, family members had been together forever and know each others past and present. They are trusted completely.

  New ones are "Love Bombed" as we all know, but after that wears off, you better be on your toes, because you will be living your life under a microscope from then on.

  Some just didn't seem to have the patience or understanding for new ones, it takes time to learn all the ins and outs of the JW religion, to transform your mind and to stop using worldly terms... I saw so many eye rolls, it made me nauseous.

  ---

  wildfell,

  Wow, you said it all better than I did... YOU truly know what I am talking about.

  It was disheartening wasn't it. On the outside looking in, no matter how hard we tried.

  I like the point you made, about giving up everything, and then having no one to turn to in times of trouble. No one to back us up in the Hall.

  Good post.

  Cas
• 

  Hope4Others

  I'm not sure about the exclusive club of born In's...but I have seen many people move in to a congregation from other area's

  not be really excepted as family so to speak. That was rather cruel....some it took years to establish themselves making friends "so called"

  I refer to now conditional friends...The new ones coming in had a lot more class and personality than most. They were kind, considerate and friendly

  something which a lot forgot how to really do.

  Glad I'm out!

  h4o
• 

  Casper

  but I have seen many people move in to a congregation from other area's not be really excepted as family so to speak. That was rather cruel

  I'd seen that also Hope, and felt it was unfair.

  But, if it was an Elder and his family moving in, it was a whole different ballgame. The congregation members were falling over their own feet to get to know them.

  After all, this was a new Elder, someone who hadn't heard all of their time worn complaints over and over... etc, etc..

  Cas
• 

  Warlock

  My old hall was made up of mostly 3 large families, with some extended added in. All seemed to be related in one way or another, several generations represented.

  Yeah, we had a couple of families like that.

  Here is what I have experienced, though.

  There have been some born-ins, here, who have stated how difficult it has been for them to fit in with the world, now that they are out of the Org.

  Since I am no longer regular in anything, I have had no problems adjusting to worldly people, especially at work. Actually, I fit right in.

  Sorry born-ins, but contrary to your air of superiority, I have found you to be just a bunch of weaklings.

  Warlock
• 

  IP_SEC

  You know wot the 'talk' is right? If they can learn to talk the talk the will be accepted as though born in. The 'talk' is so alien that... its hard to pick up. Not so hard for a multi-gener.

  You have to talk the 'talk' to be totally accepted.