It was two years and two months ago when I told my mother that I no longer recognize the WTS religion as being "The Truth." As you may know, to a JW mother, this is like telling her you've decided to jump off a skyscraper. I have spoken to her only two times since then, and have not seen her or my dad since then. Nor has any of my family (three siblings and their spouses) made any attempt to contact me.
About a month ago, I noticed that my company was going to be sending me to Midland, Michigan, which is only a bit over an hour from my parents. So I called, and Mom answered. This is how it went...
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ME: Hello, Mom, it's your son.
MOM: (gasp) Hello.
ME: I just found out my company is sending me to Midland on the weekend of May 31st and June 1st, and I thought you and Dad might want to see me.
MOM: Well I don't know... Have you changed your mind about anything?
ME: Changed my mind? How do you mean?
MOM: About your decision to turn people away from Jehovah's organization.
ME: What? Mom, I've never said anything like that to you.
MOM: I thought you did. You know, about all the things you learned about Brother Rutherford.
ME: Brother Rutherford? Mom, you've completely misunderstood. Yes, it's true I no longer recognize the Watchtower Society as being "Jehovah's Organization." I know, as part of some of the things we talked about, I mentioned some things about Joseph Rutherford--but, let's be clear, the fact that he was a lecherous drunk has absolutely NOTHING to do with my reasons for coming to the conclusions I have. And I have never told you that I was mounting some sort of campaign to "turn people away" from that organization.
MOM: I thought you did.
ME: Well, if by that you mean simply telling people what I think about that organization when I have occasion to--certainly, yes, I intend to do that. Isn't that what you do when discussing the Catholic religion? Don't you tell people what you really think? Is it wrong for me to tell people what I believe--but right for you?
[This produces an uncomfortable sound and more of the same discussion we've had in the previous two conversations.]
MOM: I don't know what Dad will say, but I know I'd like to see you because I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU!!
ME: I know you love me, Mom. Of course you do. Do you think I don't know that you love me? The only problem here is that a group of men in Brooklyn, New York, are threatening you to act out of harmony with your natural love for me because I no longer recognize their authority. Can't you see how evil that is?
[More stuff about Jesus' setting up a new covenant, etc... She tells me she's not sure how my dad will react; that she'll have to talk with him. The whole tone bounces back and forth between one in which she's expressing sadness for not seeing me--and one in which she's acting like this is just punishment for not continuing to follow the Society's dictates. In an attempt to give my perspective I say the following...]
ME: Mom, I'm doing great. (My daughter) Chelsea's doing great. Dad is 75. You're 74. I thought you might like to see me.
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She ends by telling me she'll talk to Dad, and they'll send me an e-mail. (An e-mail?) Anyway, a couple of weeks later I got the e-mail. She told me they would meet with me on Saturday night (May 31st.) In my reply I told them we could find a nearby restaurant and go there. But I'm wondering if they'll invoke the "not even eating with such a man" principle.
I've decided I'm going to be as positive as possible, and have no need to bring up WTS stuff. But...if they want to go there, I will have ready for them two copies of the letter I have been writing for (guess how long?) two years and two months. It's presently 29 pages. Yes, I know they may not read it--or even accept it. But I will at least try to reach them with one of the opening paragraphs and two scriptures...
My intent is not to convince you that my way of thinking is the only right one, but instead to demonstrate that my reasons for coming to the conclusions I have are by no means frivolous. I have no problem whatsoever with the concept of disagreement. I am however troubled by those who assert that their conclusions are the only right ones, and that disagreement with them brings conflict and estrangement.
"When anyone is replying to a matter before he hears it, that is foolishness on his part and a humiliation." [Proverbs 18:13, NWT—underlining added]
"We need to examine, not only what we personally believe, but also what is taught by any religious organization with which we may be associated. Are its teachings in full harmony with God's Word, or are they based on the traditions of men? If we are lovers of the truth, there is nothing to fear from such an examination." [The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life, 1968, page 13]
It could be that they are only coming to see me for the last time. A couple of years ago, they told my ex-wife that they would like to see me "one last time." The interesting thing? I really am okay with such a thing. While I admit I can get worked up when considering the injustice of minds being hijacked, the fact is I've made peace with the fact that such a thing happens--and that I may never have a relationship with my family members as a result. I'm okay with recreating my life; in fact I've already done a pretty good job of that.
I'll let you know how this goes.