So in 30 years, Adam never thought of eating from the tree of life

by Mr Ben 26 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Mr Ben
    Mr Ben

    So J Edgar Hoover puts these 2 special trees in the middle of the garden, right, the tree of life & the tree of the knowledge of good and bad, and says,

    "Look Adam, you simple twat, just use the brains I gave you, listen carefully, again! I am putting 2 VERY SPECIAL trees in the middle of the garden where you can find them real easy, see? Now I am telling you that you are not to eat the fruit of just ONE of them, hint hint, and look, I am putting ALL the other trees and veggie stuff there to serve as food for you, hint hint. Get it?"

    Adam: "So I am not to eat of the 2 trees in the middle..."

    Hoover: "No, no, you are not to eat of just one of the very special trees, the tree of knowledge of good and bad. The tree of life, on the other hand I have put no restrictions upon, get it?"

    Adam: "Right. I am not to eat of any tree that is, or may be, in or round about the middle of the garden. Where is that by the way, can you make a signpost or something, I think I'm a bit lost."

    Hoover: "Adam, I think I'm going to make a helper for you..."

  • james_woods
    james_woods

    I thought they told me that (for whatever mythological sense it makes) that Adam & Eve ate from tree of life all the time while in the Garden. This kept them alive (but apparantly did little to enhance their mental processes...)

    But, when they ate from the knowledge of good and bad, they got kicked out and guard dog angels were put up on the perimeter to prevent them from getting back in and eating from life tree any more.

    This would have let them live forever even though they had sinned.

    It did seem to me at the time that if I were God, faced with this problem, and there was only the one tree of life, I think I would have just used the old divine chainsaw on it rather than waste two of my main angels on constant border patrol.

    It's not like he was planning on keeping it past the flood, anyway. Wait - tree of life killed in flood? All the other tree species survived, though - didn't they?

    Sometimes these pre-Sumerian legends confuse me greatly -

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    See Adam would just order Pizza hut and stop at Taco Bell on the way home then Eve got in the picture and wanted Adam to change his eating habbits, there is an important lesson here guys Chicks just kill it

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Maybe the tree of knowledge made him really wise and he didn't want to live forever...

  • TopHat
    TopHat

    I always wondered why Adam and Eve never had children in the Garden of Eden.

  • LovesDubs
    LovesDubs

    Men NEVER make an effort to get themselves anything to eat as long as there if a female who can do it for em. And after 30 years of Eve's constant nagging about him spending more time with the animals, he finally ate from that apple to get the hell out of Eden.

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    The big question is, how long did it take him to want to eat Eve?

    JK

    HELL YEAH! I like the way you think. LOL

  • S3RAPH1M
    S3RAPH1M

    Homeboy not eating from the tree of life when he had the chance don't seem right to me at all at all.

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee

    Adam was a little slowwww..........its like an Eddie Izzard bit........

  • yknot
    yknot
    I always wondered why Adam and Eve never had children in the Garden of Eden.

    Because based on ovulation and God's commandment to be fruitful and multiply the only way Woman (named Eve after fruit incident) didn't conceive is because she was only there a week to 2 weeks tops depending on a 21-28 day cycle.

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