by Fisherman 31 Replies latest jw friends
Looking back I don't think I ever really did. Even as an elder, everything seemed so foreign to me.
I remember my grandmother praying out loud during an earthquake. I could never seem to find that place where I felt I was getting anywhere with it.
I do have a huge problem with authority figures betraying your trust. I think I never really trusted god.
Before I was a JW, I had a great relationship with God. The longer I was in the cult, the demands on the relationship became so great, I lost sight of the forest for the trees so to speak. I don't like placing blame on anyone or anything since I was a willing participant for decades in the JW cult. Towards the end of my time in the cult, I harbored some resentment towards the men in charge of the cult as I began to step back and think more objectively about the teachings of the WT and the abuse of power by these men. After some serious grief and some healing time, I was then able to move on and make my relationship with God whole and clean again. To put it simply-my relationship with God was damaged by the WT and its cohorts.
Never had an experiential relationship with anything spiritual while in.
While out, yes - the meaning of what I experience shifts over time, but the relatoinship is alive.
Nope, but I wanted to. I never felt I was good enough... not trying hard enough or something.
Amen.
i had a deep rooted sense of spirituality that i brought "in" with me, and i pummeled it and strangled it and reshaped it to fit the mindset of the b0rg, or at least made heroic attempts to pigeonhole it... i am delighted to know it has survived all attempts to stifle it.....
Hail no!.....he will not hear the prayers when you spank the monkey.....so no relationship possible............oompa
just never really felt it.....and no prayers ever answered
Not really, and what little I did have was all about begging for forgiveness, living in guilt and trying to barter my way.
I have said this before elsewhere but I spent years speaking to a God that never spoke back - How could I possibly have a relationship with him?
I now speak to more sociable Gods and Goddesses!
Gary
I thought I did for most of my life.
The kindest thing He ever did for me was finally letting me know that He wasn't real.
Thanks, Big Guy!
what a great post , I need some time to think about this, to compose my reply, but a huge question
