California Court Affirms Right To Gay Marriage (page 6)

Junction-Guy

I don't hate myself, I never really did. I did feel bad about certain things, and I was angry for awhile, but I have resolved myself to being happy, and maybe sometime down the road, when all of this damage heals, I can move on with my life and find someone else, and get married again.

I still love Amanda despite all the hardships we have endured, and one way or another we both will eventually have some kind of closure to this.

2 years separated, and no divorce filed yet.

sammielee24

What about the bisexuals? Maybe they were born with the desire to have a husband and a wife at the same time? Just kidding, but you can see where this slippery slope is headed.

JG..I do understand the point that you are trying to make. Some people believe that by re-defining the word marriage to mean - a legally bound relationship between 2 people regardless of sex or culture - will, for some people, be pushing the door ajar for marriage to be redefined over and again. Polygamy for example has been one word tossed around - by redefining the marriage contract to the gay population, some fear that it can be redefined again to accomodate plural marriages. I'm not sure if the fear is unfounded or not because I'm of the school of thought that if you can provide all the financial support required to support a spouse/family, and all is legally done, it shouldn't pose any hardship to anyone else. I suppose only time will tell on that issue.

If you take away the religious viewpoint and look at it purely from a financial one - if someone can support another or two - what business is it of ours? Straight people will continue to marry each other - gay people will continue to marry. I would prefer to see happy, productive people engaging in all aspects of society regardless of their label. sammieswife.

Indo_Dude

Junction wrote: Benjamin, maybe if there were more people around like you, when I was really conflicted with this, it could have made a difference. But just about every gay and gay friendly person on this board practically shunned me here, and this was well before I was even vocal about my christian beliefs.

Yes I was confused, yes I was angry, and alot more things, but not one person that I ever reached out to, had the decency to talk with me about this.

Indo_dude---I have never sought out sex in bathrooms, I don't even know for sure if Larry Craig did or if it was a set up.

I never wanted sex in the first place, I was looking for friendship, a place to belong, and other positive things.

I know all too well about A Common Bond and have been on their website in the past. I tried to make contact with people, but once they find out you aren't looking for sex or a civil union partner, they pretty much drop you like a hot pan.

I think you are over-generalizing, perhaps as much as I over-generalized your situation, and for that I apologize. Speaking only from my experience, that once you go thru the pain, self-loathing, and discovering process of coming out, you don't have a lot of patience for others that refuse to acknowledge their sexuality.

At a certain point, why should I, or would I have much sympathy for someone who hates themselves so much? Not to be rude or demeaning JG, but you seem very angry, hostile, and bitter over your sexuality. It's hard to keep such negativity around you, after you have finally escaped the damage of the JWs. I agree that may not be right, or proper, but really can you blame someone for not wanting to deal with such self-loathing? Look, I realize that 50% of America and the world hates me simply because I like men. When I seek out and have sought out a male companion, boyfriend, spouse, I want someone I can give myself over to fully, and he can to me as well. My patience level for people who aren't out yet shrinks with every passing year. I like who I am.... I really do. I refuse to apologize to anyone for who I am, and what I am. So frankly, to have to pull someone else along who is much older, and in denial about their sexuality seems like a waste of time.

Does that make any sense?

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Junction-Guy,

Sorry for your confusion and unhappiness.

BenV started this thread to celebrate a legal victory in one state that may give many people a great deal of happiness and acceptance in their lives. Ben is a newbie of about 30 posts, a member less than a week. Is this any way to welcome him?

Please, JG, if you want to go start a ME ME ME thread, go, do it. Don't hijack the new guys thread to preach and talk about yourself. Take your soapbox elsewhere, please.

B the X

BenV

Junction-Guy -- I'm gonna give you a big cyber-hug anyway.

From what I've read -- and I don't really know you that well -- but I believe you have a sincere, good heart. And believe me, I know how feeling conflicted, having indecision, unresolved inner turmoil can feel -- it is one tough road to navigate. I'm glad we're both still in one piece.

Sure, some people seem to know innately what their orientation is -- straight or gay -- and live accordingly. For me, being a Jehovah's Witness led to soul wrenching internalized self-loathing and sadness -- I kind of felt like I was being hated because of whom I loved. How I prayed to God to make me different ... I prayed and prayed and prayed. My being disfellowshipped and leaving the truth has brought a great deal of hurt and pain to my parents. I still cry about it sometimes. But sometimes, I've learned, you have to pay a heavy price to claim your own life. To be authentic, real and true.

I always thought that if I could make it through high school -- things would get better. And in some important areas they have -- and I am so thankful. But I'm learning life doesn't necessarily stop being difficult. So please know that it was never my intention to deliberately hurt you. I'm saddened that you've had such a difficult time and some bad experiences with people.

What I wish for you is what I hope you wish for me -- that we can just live and let live.

I do so wish you the very best,

Benjamin

Junction-Guy

Yeah I see where you are coming from, but your assessment is just a little off. As for the self loathing, which came first? I was always a happy, optimistic person even during the darkest hours of my life. I always tried to make the best of situations.

When I came on this board, I always tried to be friendly to everyone, even when I disagreed with them, now it takes a heck of alot of restraint to withold my opinions from various people.

I sent PM's and emails to various people here over the course of several years, and for the most part, I was ignored. At the one point in my marriage when I was just about to give up my secret, I thought I had found a good friend who understood, but I was wrong, because he avoided my PM's, lied to me, and didn't even have the decency to reply to me after he promised to attend one of the apostafests. He didn't know about my gay tendency or problem, I never told him, but I would have if he had kept the lines of communication open, there still to this day was no acknowledgement on his part. I had enough avoidance issues stemming from my JW childhood.

Indo_Dude

Billy wrote:
Junction-Guy,
Sorry for your confusion and unhappiness.
BenV started this thread to celebrate a legal victory in one state that may give many people a great deal of happiness and acceptance in their lives. Ben is a newbie of about 30 posts, a member less than a week. Is this any way to welcome him?
Please, JG, if you want to go start a ME ME ME thread, go, do it. Don't hijack the new guys thread to preach and talk about yourself. Take your soapbox elsewhere, please.
B the X

I certainly understand where you are coming from and agree on a certain level. I guess I came to the realization that my being gay helped my family escape the JWs completely. Had I not been gay, come out of the closet, and been abused by the elders / circuit overseer, my family would have never seen the horrific ways in which I was treated. They watched as many elders would break procedure and pay no attention to what the WTBS claimed was supposed to happen in a judicial matter, and instead did whatever they pleased. When they also found out that I had sex with an elder's son who was over 18 and I was 15, yet the elder started to retell a fictional story that I had raped/abused his son, they became irate. Especially since, they had found us together with the elder's son on top of me, being the penetrative partner. While I was unbaptized, and hung out to dry, the elder's son who was baptized, and in all reality a rapist under state law, was lauded, and given assignment after assignment of privleges. He got married shortly thereafter, and as recently as a few months ago I know he was fracking an ex-boyfriend of mine. Very pathetic and sad if u ask me.

Junction-Guy

That last comment was for Indo_dude not Ben, it just so happens that I was typing it up as Ben posted a response.

Junction-Guy

Perhaps I should start a new thread explaining the circumstances around this EX-JW I was mentioning earlier, probably not mention his screen name, but maybe give alot of clues. Perhaps he will read it and know it is he.

Indo_Dude

Junction Guy wrote:
Perhaps I should start a new thread explaining the circumstances around this EX-JW I was mentioning earlier, probably not mention his screen name, but maybe give alot of clues. Perhaps he will read it and know it is he.

Does that break a rule or something where you say what happened? I am new here and have already run afoul of a couple of unspecified "violations" so I'm never quite sure what is allowed vs. not allowed. But if this was most boards, you could simply say what happened, and if the other poster disagreed, they were free to say their peace, and move on. So, I guess I'd err on the side of more information rather than less. It might help us understand where you are 'coming from' better, ya know?

California Court Affirms Right To Gay Marriage

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