hi newbie to this great place

by freespirit67 40 Replies latest jw experiences

  • freespirit67
    freespirit67

    will try and keep my story short lol i was brought up a JW since i was 2 (i am now 41) i had 2 elder brothers the eldest left the organisation when he was 15 joined the army at 17 and basically did his own thing. my other brother got baptised at 14 then disfellowshipped at 16 for smoking,he no longer wanted to be a JW. He married out the truth and had a little girl. My parents were still able to have contact because at that point the society hadnt changed its rules on having nothing to do with disfellowshipped family but when it did come out years later they then had to tell my bro,his wife and then 2 year old daughter they would no longer be having anything to do with them,at that time i was 14,it broke my heart,but i thought it has to be right my mum and dad and the society says so years went by my brother had a drink problem couldnt face not having contact so started attending meetings,after a year or so got reinstated,(i know it was all for the wrong reasons) He then fell away quietly but was secretly living the life as a person of the world (sorry for using that term I hate it)Inbetween this I was baptised at 16,went on to become a regular pioneer,married a witness boy at 19 had my first baby at 22 then went on to have 5 kids all together WOW I know,need I say more,the pressure of raising a family attending meetings,ministry,preperation,and being physically abused by my so called witness husband took its toll.My spirituality went to zero.My brother who had been baptised died at only 38,alot of it due to mental health problems affected by the societies expectations and my mum and dad finding out and it hurting them,I sincerely believe that played a large part in his death.I then turned to drink and drugs,I was 30.Then I fell pregnant and had a still birth 5months into my pregnancy,my beautiful baby boy Arran was born dead,oh how I greived.My marriage went from bad to worse and my husband eneded up having an affair with a sister in another congregation,18 years of marriage out of the window.He was disfellowshipped,but the sister wasnt oh how I hated the elders and that sister because of the way things were dealt with,she lied her whole way through it,her father was an elder as well.

    Sorry this has turned out longer than I thought.Anyway I lived the life of a single mother fell away from the organisation,and eventually met a (WORLDLY) guy who is the most loving guy I have ever met,my best friend,lover and soulmate.I was disfellowshipped 4 months ago because we live with each other and plan to get married in September,unacceptable to the society hence my disfellowshipping.It has broke my mum and dads heart and Im so so sorry for this,I love them so much,but no longer want or believe in the JW beliefs. I still believe in God but dont know where Im bound as regards my faith,I really do want to have something. Apart from my mum and dad and the shunning arrangement Im so happy,the happiest I have ever been in years,and my 2 youngest ones are happy as well..My eldest daughter is 16 and planning on getting baptised in July which is tearing me apart,she is so like me,but is being brainwashed by a certain crowd of witnesses,need I say anymore...My eldest son who is 18 isnt in the Truth and feels the same way I do..

    Anyway thanks for this forum and hope to hear from likeminded friends soon.

    Thanks for reading.

    love freespirit xxxx

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    Hi Freespirit... Welcome to the board...

    You'll find many a free spirit and a free mind on this board.

    It'l help you keep you sanity too. Sorry to hear about your family, you have much healing to do. But it sounds like your on the right course.

    [email protected]

  • Eyes Open
    Eyes Open

    Hello freespirit67, Thanks for sharing your experiences. Sorry about the shunning, but glad you're otherwise happy. I believe there is a page in the elder's handbook that effectively says if some talk with their disfellowshipped family members the elders may choose to let it go. Sorry - can't remember for sure, but maybe someone who's in the know can post it if they know what I mean as you may be able to use it tactfully with your parents. See you round the forum.

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    If someone could make a book with all of our past experiances with stories like yours its sure to be a best seller.

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    Welcome thanks for sharing

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    To the board!

    Thanks for your story, life becomes so difficult trying to find your way. But the point is you have found

    happiness now, only you can live your life. Unfortunately sometimes others including family do not see it that way.

    Cheers

    hope4others

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    I'm glad you're enjoying your life! Hope you'll stick around and help others who need a shoulder to lean on.

    What triggered your thinking that the organisation wasn't "the truth"?

  • nomoreguilt
    nomoreguilt

    freespirit67.........WELCOME to the neighborhood!! We're all here, every sort of free spirited jw and Ex jw. i'm happy that you are happier now, as I am also. You'll find healing for yourself here as there are many like you here as you will soon be meeting them. Take care dear and we'll be seeing more of you I am sure.

    NMG

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Hi, freespirit. I’m going to help you reshape your thinking, if that is all right. I’ve taken your paragraph and replaced all the JW buzzwords with regular words. Just to show you how different it all sounds in real life. Reshaping your language will help you reshape your thinking.

    You are a great lady who has met a fantastic man. Don’t fuss over people who would rather follow the Watchtower’s dictates than to love freely. You did not break your family’s hearts, they have foolishly chosen the society over you. Their pain is self-inflicted. The best thing you can do is have a great life. When they are ready to join you, they will.

    I will try and keep my story short lol i was brought up a JW since i was 2 (i am now 41) i had 2 elder brothers the eldest left the organisation when he was 15 joined the army at 17 and basically did his own thing. my other brother got baptised at 14 then disfellowshipped at 16 for smoking,he no longer wanted to be a JW. He married out the trutha regular lady and had a little girl. My parents were still able to have contact because at that point the society hadnt changed its rules on having nothing to do with disfellowshipped family but when it did come out years later they then had to telltold my bro,his wife and then 2 year old daughter they would no longer be having anything to do with them,at that time i was 14,it broke my heart,but i thought it has to be right my mum and dad and the society says so years went by my brother had a drink problem couldnt face not having contact so started attending meetings,after a year or so got reinstated,(i know it was all for the wrong reasons) He then fell awayleft quietly but was secretly living the life as aperson of the worldregular person (sorry for using that term I hate it)Inbetween this I was baptised at 16,went on to become a regular pioneer,married a witness boy at 19 had my first baby at 22 then went on to have 5 kids all together WOW I know,need I say more,the pressure of raising a family attending meetings,ministry,preperation,and being physically abused by my so called witness husband took its toll.My spirituality went to zero.My brother who had been baptised died at only 38,alot of it due to mental health problems affected by the societies expectations and my mum and dad finding out and it hurting them,I sincerely believe that played a large part in his death.<please, sweetheart, don’t burden yourself with this sort of responsibility – J> I then turned to drink and drugs,I was 30.Then Ifellbecame pregnant and had a still birth 5months into my pregnancy,my beautiful baby boy Arran was born dead,oh how I greived.My marriage went from bad to worse and my husband eneded up having an affair with a sisterwoman in another congregation,18 years of marriage out of the window.He was disfellowshipped,but thesisterwoman wasnt oh how I hated the elders and that sisterwoman because of the way things were dealt with,she lied her whole way through it,her father was an elder as well.

    Sorry this has turned out longer than I thought.Anyway I lived the life of a single mother fell away fromleft the organisation,and eventually met a (WORLDLY)GREAT guy who is the most loving guy I have ever met,my best friend,lover and soulmate.I was disfellowshipped 4 months ago because we live with each other and plan to get married in September,unacceptable to the society hence my disfellowshipping.It has broke my mum and dads heart My mum and dad are upsetand Im so so sorry for this,I love them so much,but no longer want or believe in the JW beliefs. I still believe in God but dont know where Im bound as regards my faith,I really do want to have something. Apart from my mum and dad and the shunning arrangement Im so happy,the happiest I have ever been in years,and my 2 youngest ones are happy as well..My eldest daughter is 16 and planning on getting baptised in July which is tearing me apart,she is so like me,but is being brainwashed by a certain crowd of witnesses,need I say anymore...My eldest son who is 18 isnt in the Truth interested in the Witnesses and feels the same way I do..

  • Casper
    Casper

    Freespirit....

    Thanks for sharing your story.

    then went on to have 5 kids all together WOW I know,need I say more

    Goodness, you did have your hands full...

    So glad you found a loving mate and happiness.

    We look forward to hearing more from you.

    Cas

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