I think I'm a Ghost

by Peppermint 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • Peppermint
    Peppermint

    You know how ghosts are often portrayed in films etc. as those who are unable to move on, spirits that linger in the world they were once a part of, possibly because they have some unfinished business with the world they left behind.

    Well to me that is how I view my life - I'm aware of the fact that I think way too much about my previous life as a JW. Its like I'm destined to walk through my past over and over, trying to come to terms with what I once believed, hoping to reconcile it with what I now see as reality.

    How do you break from this? - This board has certainly been helpful for part of my readjustment towards normality. But what next? I certainly don't want to wallow in self pity and spend the rest of my life being an ex-jw.

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    I have come to realize for myself that finding new interests will benefit me, like perhaps reaching out to help others in a humanitarian way.

    Often I feel opening your heart to others can bring this inner feeling of happiness to the ones we have been told are so evil according to Wt propaganda.

    People are people and everyone has similar desires, they look for hope, love, happiness, also they are human as we are. I look at the world in a

    different way now. It takes work I admit to move on, you just have to keep trying and be positive that things will get better. Its about believing who you are

    and that you are a decent person.

    Cheers!

    hope4others

  • Peppermint
    Peppermint

    Thanks Hope4Others. Good advice.

    I am not unhappy or down about my life in any way but I do realize that I need to move on. My wife for instance left the "Truth" at the same time as me. She went from witness of 35 years to worldling with no major upheaval at all. She holds no grudges and does not even mention to work colleagues her past. I guess it comes down to personality types in the end.

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    Well then you most certainly have each other, perhaps now it is time to reach out to others and make new friends as a couple. There are a number

    of wonderful people where you are from here on the board, try to meet up with them. How long have you both been out now?

    Cheers!

    hope4others

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    Naw...you're not a ghost.....it's just that you feel so light since all the JW burden has been lifted off your shoulders.

    You'll find your land legs I'm sure. Just live each day as it comes with thankfulness and love and stop worrying about

    the past. Time's a'wastin!

  • Peppermint
    Peppermint

    "How long have you both been out now?"

    About 5 years

    "There are a number of wonderful people where you are from here on the board, try to meet up with them"

    This is the point really, Is it healthy to immerse yourself totally in being an ex-jw? after a while maybe it adds to the problem. perhaps I should look for a ex-ex-jw board.

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    I thought this was pretty Ex here! Perhaps in thoughts! Reach out to those who have never been jw's, work, neighbors.

    Interesting to do a % vote Are you In, Or are you X.

    hope4others

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    I remember the 25 years I worked in a machine shop making tools, I thought I had died and was in hell, and some of my coworkers aggreed with me. I've been out of the tower since 83. I'm spending right now being an ex jw. 25 years latter I am doing what you dont want to do. I think I have only been coming to this board for a couple of years though. I've had some good years and some bad years. I would guess the answer to your question is to do the opposite of what I do. Dont come here, get interested in something and go after it. The lazy streak in me that allowed me to kick back and go to meetings allows me to kick back and post here instead of doing something more meaningfull. I wish the reality of it all was that simple.

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    This sounds like one of several things, all related to extreme stress for prolonged periods.

    dissociation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociation_(psychology)

    PTSD- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder

    Derealization http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization

    all can cause that dreamy surreal feeling

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Peppermint, were you raised a JW? If not, give it time. Also, try to reconnect with your former life. Go back to doing the healthy things that the JW's took from you.

    If you were raised as a JW? I don't know what to tell you. Perhaps people who were raised JW's can tell you how to move on.

    I don't hardly think about life as a JW.

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