An interesting discussion with my wife

by 10p 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • 10p

    oh wow, thanks all for reading my long winded story.

    I never meant to upset any bitter people. Be bitter if you must. I hope you can get over it in time, but I guess if any place, this is the place to speak freely.

    To some extent, I'm still in a mental frame of mind where I have to be the 'bigger' person. I feel I cannot resort to the name calling and judging that I have come away from, and try to be better than that. But to some extent it is a facade, because sometimes I just feel like ranting and raving.

  • OnTheWayOut
    I hope my bitter tone doesn't make you skip over my posts.
    I never meant to upset any bitter people. Be bitter if you must.

    I wasn't upset. I just took a shot at humor in your thread.
    Peace to you and yours.

    As far as sometimes feeling like ranting and raving, most all of us can identify with that feeling.

  • Meeting Junkie No More
    Meeting Junkie No More

    So good to hear of your positive results!

    I think a ton of JWs must be secretly 'awakening' to the realization that a lot of the prejudices (for that is what they are) that they harbored as JWs and perhaps still harbor are as a result of misinformation. Of course, the Society is woefully inadequate in presenting all sides of any issue, so the WTBTS would of course be remiss when it comes to presenting scientific evidence of any 'gay' gene.

    In fact, this was the tack I took when 'reverse witnessing' recently - our eyes are only truly open when we see both sides of any issue, both the good and the bad. The Society is notorious in presenting itself in a whitewashed kind of way - then threw in the scripture about outwardly being like whitewashed graves, but inwardly full of dead men's bones(!) for GOOD MEASURE. I said I preferred to be privy to ALL information, without their censoring . This was initially hard to swallow, but my 'householder' actually saw my reasoning.... just keep dropping the baby hints and the seed will surely sprout!

    Thanks for sharing.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Very nice conversation.

    Just curious, how did it go over with her when she first found out about your atheist viewpoint?


  • Alexia

    I can relate to the "friendship" issues. When I left, I had NO friends. No one to call or hang out with. That was difficult. Thankfully, I found real friends out side the organization though - but for a lot of people, that can be very hard and horribly isolating at first.

  • passive suicide
    passive suicide

    Well.......not ALL wits are stoked about the bookstudy fact my active wife was quite bummed about that change......She really appreciated the closeness of meeting in a friends home, and often felt more relaxed about being candid in her comments. Which in my THE MAIN reason for that change. NOW....ALL meetings are at the hall.............. Where has the freedom of expression gone?.....out the window! Oprah's an idiot...and just as easy to follow as the BORG.....maybe it's time to draw conclusions for yourselves instead of letting popular opinion draw them for you. just my two cents....which is about all it's worth.

  • 10p

    OTWO: no, I read a lot of your posts. but sometimes I *do* skip posts when the ranting is irrational and one-sided.

    Open Mind: nearly tore our marriage apart. THere were not really any arguments about doctrines, beliefs etc - she just felt she didn't know me anymore and that we were on different paths - that I might as well have come out and told her I am gay. So we are a long way from there, thankfully!

    Alexia: Yeah, I dont have any friends that I can hang out with at the moment, but its partially my fault anyway - there are plenty of nice people at work, but I'm just not a social person really. I've always been a person to have one or two really good friends, and thats it. My best friend unfortunately lives overseas, but we keep in close contact thanks to Windows Live Messenger, and he flies over every few years. Between him and my wife, I have all the friends I need.

    passive: I must admit, I made my statement based on an non-random, small sample - 100% of the 10 or so witnesses I have heard from about it have been positive. Oprah IS an idiot. My wife, though, is of the sort to be told what to think. I think she actually prefers it that way. what can you do? anyway, at least Oprah presents a lot of information that people can then think about themselves. I know she really plugs 'the secret' which I find to be the biggest scam out - but no one is gonna disfellowship me from the cult of OPrah because I don't believe in 'the secret'. She presents information, with bias, that a person can take and do what they want with. Unlike info from the watchtower, which pubs HAVE to believe in.

  • milligal

    About the bitterness...I just wanted to add that although new here, and getting all my bitterness out : ) I have to say that I respect anyone who can get on with things but I know the pain of those who can't. In the case of those with JW ex's and children involved or JW family members you are kind of tied to the religion.

    I went to a therapist who tried to teach me about getting over the past, I told her 'I have gotten over the past, it's the new things that keep popping up everyday that bring back my anger, I have to deal with it all over again'. I've gotten over the 7 year custody battle for my son, and I've gotten over having to give him to his JW father because I ran out of money to keep fighting, but then when my ex took me to court so he could have my parenting time for a summer convention-I got angry again!

    I guess I'm bitter on and off too, and I don't ever hope to magically awake one day and have it be all better-at least not before my son turns 18. So to those of you still bitter you can complain to me any time...I understand.

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