A year ago today

by wings 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • wings
    wings

    For OTWO:

    A year ago today I was on my last leg. Sitting under a camel with a million straws on it's back. I found JWD, like many of you, by doing a google on Jehovah's Witness. I knew that I was being BAD....very, very, BAD. Sometimes it is just necessary. I found free minds....spent days and days reading....then I emailed Randy, and he sent me here. I wanted to just read, but alas, I had to register to read more....so I did. I came up with "wings" in about two seconds (at the time I had no intention of posting) so it didn't matter to me. I have only recently learned to love my alias. I guess I wasn't ready to fly then.

    My life is ridiculous, and had been for some time. If I had truely shared everything here I would have been flagged as a troll from the begining. It would write better as a soap opera than a book. I have empathy for those who live in the vortex of turmoil. It does happen. For me, my fade made being proactive in my life impossible. No worldly friends allowed, non-witness family not welcome....etc....I needed support. By the time I left, I had no friends, a five year fade will do that to you. I cannot express the depth of hollowness I was in when I found this site.

    I would post a bit, then depression, circumstances would take over......then I would come back and post a bit.....then again I would go under.....Then after my dad passed, I posted a topic "I am officially lonely"...and I meant it. For a loner, that was really saying something. Well, you came through...all of yous' (don't mean to butcher the English language, but it's just me) . So I connected to you through PM's and phone calls and discovered that you are real fleash and blood people out there. This site turned from a crutch to get through a tough time into a open door leading to my new life.

    I have used this site to explore my honesty. You know, express myself. Like looking at myself in a mirror of words. I have learned much. For one, I'm not as nice as I thought. (a personal stigma I'm not completely comfortable with). I am a smart ass, and sometimes funny. Making yourself laugh is good. I appreciate so many of you here, the funny ones are easy, but also the ones who struggle, the ones that care and take time to read and post appropriate responses. Even the mean ones (you know who you are) hoping someday I'll be just a little mean too. The rebel in me. I am finally comfortable here. I am getting comfortable with myself.

    Except for the bits and pieces I reveal on my posts, I am uncomfortable going on about my raging circumstances. Don't want to set off the troll alert. For those who want to know more, I am loving PM's and phone calls. The entire free world is hard to share with....if you know what I mean.

    OTWO, I'm not thinking this is a good profile, I guess I'll just work on that later. Thanks for encouraging me......

  • Quirky1
    Quirky1

    Have a Very Happy JWD B-Day!

    Go let your hair down.

    Quirky1

  • flipper
    flipper

    WINGS- Congratulations on being here a year ! I'm sure you have benefitted like a lot of us in the great comfort of knowing we have friends there for us. Peace to you friend, and look forward to more many great posts by you. Take care.Peace out, Mr. & Mrs. Flipper

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    I'm not thinking this is a good profile, I guess I'll just work on that later.

    It sounds like a great one-year reflection, though.

    So I connected to you through PM's and phone calls and discovered that you are real fleash and blood people out there. This site turned from a crutch to get through a tough time into a open door leading to my new life.

    It sounds like you are coming out of that depression. A former life in the JW's
    can cause it to linger forever, so be careful. But reach out and make friends.
    Just remember to be cautious. Not everyone is as they seem here. I am
    not knocking your honesty and openness, just make sure your friends are
    genuine and concerned for your well-being.

    It sounds like you are already prepared for that. You sound balanced and
    ready for our good and bad thougths/days/posts.

  • changeling
    changeling

    ((((((((((((((((((wings))))))))))))))))))))

    changeling

  • Metamorphosis
    Metamorphosis

    Wow.

    Wings - i don't know how i've missed your posts and story - but it seems like we have much in common. I also came to JWD close to a year ago - joining June 15th of 2007. I also was dealing w/ a spouse determined to stay in and determined to oppose my growth and decisions to move on from the JW's. I also lost my father recently, in February. I have been seperated from my wife since January 1st. I'll be looking back over your posts to see the nature of your story and what twists and turns it has taken. I can only wish you the best in continuing to see the new path life is laying for you. Keep your head up and your spirits strong - you are correct in that there are many people on this board that even though we may not know personally, care about our circumstances and the way we deal with the obstacles and pressures leaving this religious denomination.

    Morph

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    Hapy JWD year-day Wings...

    It was nice to talk to you the other day... You.ve been through much, but I am learning that it is so therapuetic to talk to other people about the exJW experience... It helps me get through the day and not feel sorry for myself.

    Take care, hope to talk to you again soon.

    [email protected]

  • Bring_the_Light
    Bring_the_Light

    The beauty of the internet is its pure thought. No social norms, no physical judgements, no awkward unease. Just human brains, shouting their thoughts out into the ether to be heard by other human brains. I've posted on a politicalish site for many years. At first it wasn't much other than shouting my views for myself, then you start to really hear and meet people. Then you wonder if its "wierd" that "internet people" have become some of your better friends, then you realize that this medium is in many, many ways BETTER than the kinds of friends you can maintain the the oxygen filled world. There are so few circumstances where you can get in a room with other people and really chew the fat. Even when you do get the chance, it doesn't get as detailed or nuanced as you can get when posting in prose like this.

    I'm brand new here. I'm getting so much out of this so far that I'm regretting that I spent years screaming at Europeans about the liberation of Iraq, when the real reason why I've become such a Patriot and freedom freak is from my JW experience. I know what freedom means. I owe my students4democracy.org buddies an essay on the nexus between my struggling out of the JW world and my almost-unbalanced views about freedom, and how important it is.

    It is a pleasure to just barely know you all, including our birthday girl here. May we share many birthdays, Christmases and Bar-mitvehs (sp?) together as we proudly carry the flag of mental and emotional freedom (erm, any freedom related battle I can win will be a nice change of pace from Iraq)

    Bring_the_Light

  • Tired of the Hypocrisy
    Tired of the Hypocrisy

    Happy Aniversario!

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