playdate circa 1979

avishai

Here's a story I'm working on in the humorous vein, lemme know what you think. I was 9 in 1979, it's loosely based on fact.

Playday, circa 1979.

So i get up in the morning, and have some cereal. Lot's of cereal, and passive aggressively leave grapenuts in the bottom of a bowl, just because I know that when they dry abit, well, let's just say that crazy glue has nothing on dried grapenuts. So, mom will have something to do with her time later, namely play "Yell loud at the kid so the neighbors know she's a good parent."
So, I go outside, get called back in to make my bed and, as the door closes make sure to flip mom the bird, as I am getting my cussing and "flipping off" down pat, what can i say, I was a late bloomer. Shove crap under bed, half ass make it and go back out side. What to do, hmm... I know, I'll go ride my crappy bike, or, since no-one wore helmets @ that time play a game that we would now call, oh, "playing chicken with the pavement". Oh, hey, there's the neighbor kid!! "I Just got some weebles," sez he. So we go play with the weebles, until after about two minutes we get bored with making them "wobble but not fall down" and even a little angry at our defeat by these smug little weebles. So, we decide on a course of action. First, i hit the weeble with a hammer, weeble flies off bench and directly into buddies crotch, he drops to the ground. This is when the neighbor girl hottie decides to drop by, you know, the one who's one-of-the-guys but you have to still put-your-books-on-your-lap on the bus if you think about her even a little bit too much? Yeah, that girl. So, being greatly embarrassed by being curled up in a ball holding his junk, your buddy decides to save the situation by yelling "You DICK you did that on purpose!!" And from his kneeling position punches you right square in the nuts. So, as we both are rolling around she says something like "You weirdo's are obviously busy, i'll come back later", we were'nt really paying much attention at that point.... So back to the weebles. We try a tree, throwing this ovoid piece of plastic at it, rocks, etc. to no avail. Then one of us gets the bright idea of lighting it on fire and we just get started with the matches, hair spray and other sundry combustibles when someone's little brother decides to "tell". We threaten said little brother, which makes him run into the house, while his older brother calls him a "fag". We get in trouble for both and have to go to our respective homes for lunch.....
(to be continued)

avishai

Nothin?'

BabaYaga

We are smiling... we just don't know what to say!

:)

loosie

I'm laughing. I love weebles

snowbird

Sylvia

avishai

Thank you all. the next installment is going to involve bellbottoms and bike chains, lawn darts and hoppity hops, and perhaps a little JW stuff.

Hope4Others

Naughty little boy,

lol
hope4others

GentlyFeral

Reminds me of something my mother told me, long before I was old enough to have children:

When your child starts climbing a tree, close your eyes.

GentlyFeral

MissingLink

You have a funny way of explaining these events. Good stuff.

If you're looking for writing advise - I'm no writer myself (can barely read), but I'd say be more consistently writing in either 1st, 2nd, or 3rd person.

I'm the same age as you. Good times....

avishai

Cool, missing link, i'll work on that!!

Here's part 2, but i'm not to the hoppity hop or jw stuff yet.

So i get back on my bike and the local stupid dog starts chasing me. I get my new brittania bellbottoms stuck in the chain, because i'd taken the chainguard off my bike and chainguards are for pussies. So there i am on the ground, gravel in my knees, etc., with the frickin' terrier growling at me and his buddy the golden retriever trying to lick me to death. Great, mom's gonna kill me and my purple schwinn stingray may be messed up. Nope, bike is fine. Ok, back home. So, I walk in, mom does'nt kill me, does'nt even notice because her hippie friend is over. I hate her hippie friend, her hippie friend is one of these ladies that secretly hates kids, and drinks her vodka from a teacup, has the tonic just here for show. I like mom's other hippie friend who drinks coors, belly dances and gives me backrubs, she's great.
So i walk in, hide my ripped pants, and go to the kitchen, get out the govt. cheese and start to make a sandwich. Mom Yells "Make one for me and Lisa too" and hippie lisa titters. So I make the turkey and gummint cheese sandwiches, secretly fantasizing what it would be like to spit on lisa's. So i bring them their sandwiches and Tab (I hate tab too, but that's cool, i'll get an RC later at the corner store, and then look under the cap to see if I can win any $$.) So I graba tv tray and my sammich and proceed to watch the little rascals. Then the Stooges come on, I LOVE the stooges, so does my dad. Then I hear lisa's spacey annoying bray from the kitchen.. "Oh, MY you let him watch the Three Stooges? I would NEVER let my kids watch that, it's far to VIOLENT!!!" "Why not?", I think to myself," you let them get away with everything else". So my mom decides to play "Let's show off our parenting skills to our friends and ban things we don't otherwise" SAM, how many times have I told you that is NOT to be watched in this house!! Go outside and play!!!"
Dammit. OK, back to square one. I go ride back to my buddy's house. The weeble still needs work, but his mom took all his matches, etc. away. I just happen to have a magnifying glass, however....So, we melt and pound, melt and pound until our retina's are just about shot, but SUCCESS, the little bastard falls down and STAYS down!!!
(to be continued.)

playdate circa 1979

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