The thing is that I have been living a life outside the borg for so long - I do have a whole normal life, with good friends, celebrating holidays and so on.
Mostly I can deal with my family, but coming here makes me confront the past, and sometimes it just all gets a bit much. I probably will have to continue living in limbo so that my kids can have a semblance of a relationship with their grandparents.
I confronted my mom with my thoughts a couple of weeks ago and now the whole dynamic of our relationship has changed. I am no longer a lost soul that in time she can guide back. She now knows I have no intention of ever going back. And she agreed never to talk to me about going back as long as I dont talk about my reasons for not going back.
Now we have these small talk conversations where we ignore the proverbial elephant because if either of us mention it, that will be the end. How silly is that!
Anyway, thanks again for your support. I love you guys!