Sex in the new order?

by keyser soze 32 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • oompa
    oompa

    I think I already have new order sex.....total perfection!!!!......................................haaaaaa............oompa

  • ninja
    ninja

    that is so wrong oompa......just for the record....I have never had sex with oompy....

  • TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    They won't be able to use the old excuse, "I have a headache".

    That was FUNNY right there...

  • OBVES
    OBVES

    Just as many have a distorted view on hell the same is with the sex . We don't look far back how people understood this issue of sex . People should look for the latest views on sex based on the Bible as we are living in the final years of the present world order and God Yahweh had reserved the best understanding of the Bible for the final years. Daniel 12.4 is happening before our eyes and this alone should give us a good reason to expect the end of the world very soon.

    Matthew 22.30 is completely misunderstood by many and even the Watchtower was not excluded ! It was evidently not yet the right time to understand the issue of sex in the Paradise.

    If you study the Bible carefully and realize fully what is sex then after God Yahweh it must be the next important need of man in life !

    Jesus was teaching many things in parables , paraphrizes - Matthew 13.11,34-35. The Matthew 22.30 is like a parable ! The heavenly story told in the earthly story.

    He was speaking about the spiritual marriage ! He as a bridegroom and his bride - his 144000 servants who are " men" as God's sons and " women " as they are a collective bride to Christ. Each one from this collective bride must be a woman then.

    144000 are " men " and " women" at the same time spiritually speaking.

    They are already given in marriage to Christ and they are the sons of the resurrection if any one of them died and rose again.

    They will not need to be given in marriage to Christ again as they were already given before : they believed in Christ marrying him this way.

    So those from 144000 servants who will be raised will not marry to Christ again as they had done so in this life.

    They are called " men" and " women" depending how we look at that spiritrual class as explained above.

    This has nothing to do with their sexual lives in the Paradise as the topic is the spiritual marriage .

    We study the Bible and interpret it using the Bible . Isaiah 28.9-10.
    Psalm 128 shows that every God-fearing servant will have a wife . There may be some servants who are celibate till they die and the promise made by God will be fulfilled for sure .

    Sexual life will always be and all saved will enjoy sex .

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    I predict a maze of confusion. Even now, there is such an obstacle course to go through to get married. You have to pick another witless, and not one that is too "new" in the cancer. (Meaning the hounders can hold back so the partner can be taken out from under your feet.) And then there are so many rules about the kind of sex, that nothing is left to the imagination. Stagnation is guaranteed (and that stagnation is responsible for so much adultery that it itself should be a disfellowship offense to create such stagantion).

    In the new Dark Ages, things will tighten down even more. I would predict that oral sex would be done away with altogether. There would be only the standard position, with nothing left to imagination, that would ever be allowed. The amount would be strictly regulated, likely solely to produce children and not for pleasure. People that are dead and get resurrected would not get married or ever be allowed sex (meaning being resurrected into everlasting celibacy). This has been mentioned numerous times in Washtowel publications and the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger, misquoting that men that are resurrected become like angels.

    It's going to be drab. No fornication. You die, no sex ever. No experimenting with new positions. No oral sex. No one-night stands. No three-ways, even with permission of the partners involved. And no wonder I call it the new Dark Ages.

  • Mr Ben
    Mr Ben

    In my area it was firmly taught that anyone single at the big A would never have sex for all eternity. But those who were married at the big A would have sex with their partner.

    You can imagine how this drove everyone who was single to marry completely the wrong person as fast as possible just to secure the sex benefit before the big A struck, IMMINENTLY! Yadadada......... more lives totally fucked up.

  • carla
    carla

    What if one spouse really doesn't much care for the spouse they have but stayed together because otherwise they would have gotten df'd? they are stuck for all eternity having to still put out and no headaches allowed either? are you sure this is paradise? one man's paradise could be another's hell.

    Single folks have to stay single forever knowing their neighbors are getting it on for all eternity? Doesn't sound very equitable does it?

    As usual the crazy bastards can find a way to screw up the simplest of scriptures. I can only wonder what kind perverts are at Bethel that they sit around thinking this crap up and have entire congregations discussing who gets laid and how in the hereafter . Only in dubland.

  • Anti-Christ
    Anti-Christ

    They way I used to see it is that seeing Adam and Eve where perfect and naked, I figured that humans in the new system would have no more shame or fear. Nothing to hide, no jealousy so having one mate would be a thing of the past. When I was a believer and I shared this "theory" with one of my JW friend he freak out and said that was impossible, I said "why? nobody knows what it's like to be perfect."

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    What kind of paradise would it be without a good seeing to before breakfast and last thing at night and several times in between.

  • S EIGHT
    S EIGHT

    Female orgasm is not required to procreate. Therefore, as I argue against evolution, female orgasm was put in place for pure pleasure.

    Am I right? Oh yes... yes.... YESYES OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

    S8

    (A naught boy with a fine appreciation for lady pleasure)

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