a situation I know of and the mind set of the elders.

by joe134cd 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • joe134cd

    Ok here's the situation I know of.

    A women was in a situation where she was forced to reveal a hidden sin and was given a private reproof for it. Before this she had an other wise clean slate. BTW the reproof was for an unrelated matter and had nothing to do with apostasy. Around this same time she was also learning about TTATT. The stress of the reproof, the treatment she received, plus TTATT meant she walked out of the KH 6 months later.

    She has never verbalized the reason for her leaving was for apostasy, but I'm guessing the reason most think she left was for the private reproof. The question she has is. So far she hasn't had one elders visit, and no one has made enquiries. Although she thinks it's great she can't help but be puzzled by this behaviour. Other than not wanting to have anything to do with the JWs (she has never verbalized this) there is nothing that they could disfellowship her for. So what's the deal with the elders have they secretly disfellowshipped her and just written her off as a lost cause they can't be bothered with. It been almost 3 years since she left. Any thoughts please.

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    If she goes (went) to the meetings alone, didnt have any family in and was not related to any elders then they will probably just leave her alone, it's based on some subconscious cost benefit ratio i think.

    If she had a penis, they might make more of an effort. Tell her not to take it personally.

  • DesirousOfChange

    They're lazy, and don't really give a shit about others, and are in it for the Title.

    No one has bothered with us either.


  • ToesUp

    DesirousofChange is dead on. They could care less. This organization keeps them on the hamster wheel and they just can't be bothered with you. We experienced that too.

    I know it is perplexing...on the one hand you are glad they have left you alone but then it is so disturbing that they will let one go so easy. So much for leaving the 99 sheep to retrieve the 1 lost one. Hypocrites!!!

  • lurkernomore

    Hi Joe,

    We've found exactly the same thing. I still do work for some wittos from time to time and till now (we've been physically out since August last year) only one of the elderly women has asked when I'm coming back to meetings.

    It used to perplex us. Now we see it as more of a blessing in disguise. People still wave to me in the street and say hello but no one can be arsed to pop round or have even tried to get us to come back.

    The really ironic thing, as was already mentioned somewhat, is that I see them out in service all the time trying to recruit new drones but they don't care about the ones who leave. So much for genuine friends and Christian love.

  • Gone and forgotten
    Gone and forgotten

    Hi Joe,

    I agree with all above statements. When I was "weak" and my crazy ex husband was DF'd, no one could be bothered with me. One sister did make an effort, but as she was a single mom wit 3 teens, worked FT and pioneered, that didn't last too long. The elders would come visit the ex while they thought there was hope for him...but never even tried to assist me...although I had been asking for help for years...so she can just chalk it up to her being a female. If she's single without family...they aren't going to bother with her very often if at all. This is rather typical behavior, so she can probably relax and get on with her life. Maybe you should direct her to this site so she can find the "fellowship" she is looking for and see that she is not so all alone in this.

  • stuckinarut2

    Be grateful to be left alone!

  • DesirousOfChange

    There's a chance she might get a call or even asked to arrange a visit just before the CO's visit. There has been some emphasis on reaching out to irregular & inactive ones then.

    By simply politely avoiding the meet up, they will move on and put a note in their files that they "tried".


  • pronomono

    She'll be left alone for a while. Then one day they'll look through their records and realize "Oh, crap! We forgot about her. Better make a token visit before the CO get on to us..." They'll make their token visit, and depending on how she handles it, things can go a few different ways from there.

    Most elders are way too busy be concerned with shepherding calls. Every elder I've ever talked to has told me they don't do this enough because of all the other things they have to do. When I was a MS and worked closely with them, I understood how busy they were. It's not that they don't care. I could tell most of them did, with a few exceptions. There are some that are in it just for the title. These are the ones that get all the stories that we read on here. But from my experience, the majority are just like all of us were before we left, beaten down and dragged out with no upside in sight.

    I have been to all of two meetings this year. Two years ago I was a spiritual asset in the congregation, giving Public talks, fill-ins, and any responsibility that was asked of me. Fast-forward to now where I'm doing absolutely nothing, except a token hour of field service (informally) and an occasional meeting when my wife insists we go. I think I've fallen quite a ways, but after the initial effort to "pull me out of the fire" last year with a few back-room encouragements and one in-depth conversation with a local elder on why I can't believe in the teaching of this generation, they haven't shown any outward display of caring. No calls, no visits, nothing. It's been great sleeping in on Sundays and not having to get ready for the mid-week meeting after work though. And my wife has been missing just as much as me. It's funny how she's always sick the night of our midweek meeting. They make me sick too, lol. And when we wake up on Sunday's after the meeting has started, we just go on our way and find something to do, or just relax. It's nice.

    So tell your friend to enjoy not being bothered. They'll come around one day. But until then, don't worry. They have no power over her.

  • ToesUp

    I agree enjoy your freedom.

    We are much happier now that we are out. We take long walks, enjoy our weekends, watch movies and spend our money on other things besides meeting clothes (ugh!) and donations. Best of all....no damn assemblies and conditional friends! Hated those!

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