Did you ever love Jehovah more than anything else?

by nbernat 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • WTWizard

    It is quite hard to love someone more than anything else when He is continually stifling every natural feeling and drive you were made with. At first, I was scammed into thinking the rules were a protection. Until they built a wall against my meeting the opposite sex in the name of God, and God didn't do a fxxxing thing to remove it.

    Besides, God was always against every little thing I tried to do, from doing a decent job at work to simple entertainment. All He wanted was for me to keep going screeching around in field circus all the time, while He was continually attacking me and harassing me in every way possible and without an iota of "joy". I'm supposed to love that? Notably, Satan has not harassed me as relentlessly as Jehovah has.

    Now I HATE Jehovah more than anything. I would do anything within my power to make His cold heart as sad and heavy as I can. And that has (so far) included buying a Ouija board, buying the filthiest rap music I can (and buying a mini disc system that Brother Hounder cannot play the discs for), getting my place as decorated for Christmas as possible, posting on this forum, bashing and exposing God as a Tyrant and Liar while both Jesus and Satan were liberators, and joining a "secret society" that the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger has warned me against. (And, no, it is not the Freemasons or some other similar organization--it is one that frees the mind to think without being restrained by past false teachings).

    Now, if only I could do fornication, I would be able to make a total slap in Jehovah's face. That would blow my Value Destroyer Training School, at least while I am actively doing it. If not, oh well--I guess I will have to settle for totally trashing the Bible and the concept of a loving God and a wicked Satan.

  • Cindi_67

    Good question because this is something I have been struggling with my whole life. At one point I think I did, but then I have never been completeley sure. I have always compare my service to other people's, and even to people of other denominations and I got to see that those outside the Org. showed more love towards God, than I ever did. They mention him all the time, they always say that "thanks to Him" they got to do this or that. I think a lot of people from other religions pray more than I ever did when I was active.

    I do want to have a closer relationship with God, but I don't seem to be able to feel that way when I go to the KH. I think I want something out of the ordinary to be able to believe that he is there for anyone who needs it. Why "worldly' people seem to have their prayers ansered and sometimes we don't it is incomprehensible to me.

    But good question.

  • ex-nj-jw

    No, I find it hard to love something that does not give a ratz arse about anything he/she/it supposedly created. BTW, I don't love the tooth fairy, santa clause or peterpan either!

    I did for a while try to be a good little jw because I thought my mother would love me if I did. She still didn't love me so I said to hell with it!


  • R.Crusoe

    Ya gotta recognise the WT collects Buzz Lightyears to spread its Infinity and beyond!

    They sell people a puppet and the price is a human soul and those of your family!

    The WTBTS & Elders soldiering away are administering neuron aneasthesis to all they are able.

    It is a drug-culture = to keep your money flowing in for life OR ELSE!!

  • Finally-Free

    I tried to, even giving up a lot and "putting kingdom interests first" in the hopes that it would increase my love for Jehovah. Bottom line, it's hard to love someone who lets you give up everything for him and doesn't seem to give a shit. I gave up a lot and got nothing back. I gave up all my "worldly" friends only to spend the next 20 years living in a friendless emotional vacuum. I gave the best years of my life, my health, and missed out on career and financial opportunities because I wanted to put "kingdom interests first".

    All for someone who evidently has no intention of even acknowledging that I exist.

    Today I love my bird more than anything else. He responds to my love more than any god or human ever has. There's no contest.


  • Cindi_67

    Also, most of the things I did were out of fear of being destroyed and not going to Paradise. And still, to this date, I have the fear that it will still happen because I am not an active Witness anymore. I grew up in this Organization, and years of beliefs do not change quickly.

  • R.Crusoe

    FF I was almost sure I was trained by an ancestor of your parrot and he became PO! Then I realised his perch is up the anuses of influentials - a place your parrots obviously never been - so my bad!

  • LongHairGal

    No, I confess I didn't. But, I did try to walk the walk and talk the talk. I guess I was just kidding myself.

    As some previous posters have said, it is hard to really feel love for a being who does not communicate to you directly like a friend and who inspires 'fear'. I also felt to some degree that it was masochistic to some degree to 'love' him, being that he wanted so much sacrifice that only your dead body would suffice as proof. It isn't that I want to displease this deity or be disrespectful, but I am being honest. I admit I have love for his creations but that is about it.


  • reniaa

    So for us to love God does he have to come down here and tap us on the shoulder?

    I say "God" because i don't know any religion were the members get to meet their god personally unless they are completely crackers these days.

  • NewYork44M

    No. and even when I prayed it was an ackward event. I could never get the whole program.

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