for those who give a flip...
I have been away from JWD for several months now. It was a great help to me in the early days of my fade. It was comforting to know that I was not alone and that others had been in my shoes. It was also comforting to meet several "kindred spirits" on this board who were loving, kind and peaceful (you know who you are).
In time, I wrapped my brain around not being a JW, and little by little, my need to keep up with what the WT was up to decreased. I also began to chafe under the negative spirit manifested by some on the board and felt the need to step away.
Today I am enjoying the transformation into the spring season as I enjoy a personal transformation into a person that is true and geniune. As a life long JW I was programmed to be someone that fit a mold and a mindset that was not really my own. Life really is something to be treasured. Everyday provides a chance to grow and to learn. Being able to enjoy the ride instead of just putting up with "the old and wicked system of things" while keeping ones eyes on "the prize", is a great gift. I could be resentful and bitter about the fact that I came upon this realization late in life, but I choose not to.
My aging parents still live with us and are still active witnesses. My mom still has not come to terms with having grown old in this system.
My son has almost finished his first year of college and is a happy, healthy, normal (non-witness) young man.
My daughter has admited to never having strong faith and to realizing that the WT has made many mistakes. She also feels the GB has way to much power over people's lives and has overstepped their bounds in a big way. She attends meetings with her husband but is currently "inactive" as to the preaching work. She has told her husband of her doubts and reservations and, suprisingly, he respects her feelings and is not preasuring her to "do more"
Return Visitor and I live a quiet, peaceful life and look forward to growing older together.
The few witness friends I keep in touch with are still swamped with the struggle of daily life, meetings, field service, assemblies, cong. gossip, emotional upheaval and the feeling that if Armageddon would just hurry up and get here everything would be OK. But until then, their "life sucks".
I hope all of you are happy and learning to enjoy your lives regardless of what stage of life you are in. We have all been through a lot, but life is good on the other side of the WT.