Your JW Relatives Have 2 Personalities - Cult & Authentic- See the Change

by flipper 40 Replies latest jw friends

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  nomoreguilt

  Fliiper, you have a PM.

  NMG
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  flipper

  Thought I'd bump this up for those who didn't get a chance to see it ! Interesting info from Steve Hassan ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  Core88

  I am reading that book right now. I heard about it from this website and feel like it has helped me see the friends and family that I had in the group are just doing what they are programed to do, and I take there actions in shunning me less personally and that really does help me in living with this pain. However I also have more tools at my disposal in my desire to help my family break free, and the "john-cultist" or "john-john" personality is what I have started to look for, and I know that when I see the cult mind present that that is not the time for direct attacks because the "shields" are up in those moments...however if my mom's normal self is in control I know that is a better time to try and reason with her. Thanks guys, it's been awhile since I posted here, look for more of me. Love you guys. Core88
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  MissingLink

  This is so true! I've been trying to manage it myself with friends and family. Mom is good practice because, well, she's really not intellectual at all. She is driven by 99% emotion, 1% thought. She is incapable of debating any doctrine issues. But her viewpoint can do a complete 180 (she doesn't realize it) when you get her to switch between the personalities. It's really wild to see it in action. She'll be criticizing me on something, then without any trying to convince her on my side - just by bringing up the grandchildren in conversation, she then is totally supportive of me on the same topic. Of course once the cult mentality clicks back in, she's back to the critisizing viewpoint. I know this happens with others, but I think the smarter ones have intellectual defenses that prevent you from seeing it as easily.
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  flipper

  CORE 88- Glad to hear you are reading the book ! It does really help , doesn't it ? It helped me as well. It helps you understand the shunning by family members in that they are controlled and programmed to do it. And it helps to see when to talk to witness relatives in their " authentic" state of mind. Good hearing from you.
  
  MISSING LINK- My ex-wife ( a witness) is real emotional ! My son's mother- and this last winter she tried to control my 23 year old son with her " cult" personality . But the problem with her is she gets emotional in the " cult " personality and stays tuck in that mode- she isn't authentic at all in her personality ! So that was really weird for my son. He did good though keeping her at bay. Nothing weirder than an emotionally strung out " witness cult personality" coming out in a person ! But you are right they sure get critical when the " cul mind " takes over ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  HB

  I have a friend who is a Police Officer. Off duty, he is mild mannered, quiet and a warm, caring individual with a smiley face. But each day at work, he is a different person. Sometimes he instantly switches from one personality to the other before my eyes, even without his uniform on. We were in a pub one evening recently where a fight developed. My friend leaped up, superman-like, and took control. He dealt with the situation in a professional manner, his eyes were focused and he seemed a stranger to those of us who he was laughing with a few moments before. His normally soft voice was hard-edged and he spoke to us his friends in an authoritative voice as he ordered us to move away.

  When I mentioned afterwards how different he seemed, he said "It's just the training".

  But then he said something that made me think. He said the stress that is caused by living in a dual personality can be overwhelming and unless you find ways of coping with it, you crack up.

  We discussed it at length and he pointed out that several professions such as in the military, and even to an extent school teachers, clergy and politicians have the same problem of having to be two distict personalities on a regular basis. He pointed out that comedy actors, circus clowns and stand-up comedians are often the most miserable people behind the mask they put on in public

  So perhaps the effects of living with a dual personality are connected to why there is so much depression and mental ill-health amongst JWs? The police are trained to cope with their stressful lives, but the WT Org is hardly going to train their members to cope with the effects of being part of a cult !!!!
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  flipper

  HB- I agree with you that having a dual personality is very stressful on a person's mental health . Having to be one way and turn on a certain personality for a cult or job , then going back to being authentic and relaxed is a hell of a stress to endure ! What's strange is the WT society makes witnesses think that going back and forth in their personality changes is perfectly normal and beneficial for them. They don't even know they are hurting themselves ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  OnTheWayOut

  I remember back in the day, elders or pioneers especially could joke at
  Jehovah's Witnesses. "We don't do that." We could joke about taking
  a vote on some matter or trying to make money by working overtime and
  skipping meetings. We could laugh at ourselves about having nothing
  to do after retirement, so we should stay at work.

  Basically, many JW's could easily slip out of the cult personality even
  with each other. Then somebody in the field circus group would say we
  really should be getting back from our break and out into the cold to finish
  the territory and we would slip back into cult personality.

  Elders meetings would get silly sometimes. I used to joke with the newbie
  elders that it was their turn to provide the sacrificial animal, but since they
  forgot, they could buy the pizza. We could make fun of the C.O. sometimes.
  Anytime we got rolling, some stuffy elder would say "Perhaps we need to
  pray for Jehovah's spirit to get the meeting back on track." We would all
  stop the laughing and get back in line.

  Attendants and members who were roaming the corridor during a convention
  could have the greatest conversations about anything until somebody else
  would say "Pay attention to the program." We would look at each other like
  we had cheated on a school exam, then pay attention to the program.

  I never knew I was exhibiting a cult personality. There were times when I was
  questioned about my beliefs that I thought my beliefs were a bit silly. That
  should have clued me in. "You guys won't see R-rated movies because of
  what? Voting is not allowed- why?"
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  bluesapphire

  marked for later
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  M.J.

  I think you can tie this in with Hassan's explanation of "models of reality". Basically when one is thinking strictly in terms of the JW model of reality, the JW is assuming the cult personality, and vice-versa. But this construct of reality doesn't provide a complete map to navigate the real world, and so the member fills in the gaps with his own authentic map / personality.