I need love advice

by Edict Of Death 34 Replies latest social relationships

  • Edict Of Death
    Edict Of Death

    i do write her love notes every time we are not together. inbetween periods and at home. she trys to call me every night and i visit her at night every now and then. i know it will work out i just wish it wasn't so hard. but i'm willing to go threw it all for her.

  • TheSilence
    TheSilence
    they all thought her parents are crazy

    Try to keep in mind they are victims of this religion (cult), too, and they truly believe that they are doing what is best for their daughter. It is a life and death matter to them and they think that her current path will lead to her eternal destruction. As jacked up as their behavior might be, try to remember they have the best of intentions and love their daughter, they are simply victims, too.

    Jackie

  • Edict Of Death
    Edict Of Death

    thank you for all your advice, i'll be sure to do all i can. i don't want to make any one mad over religion but it seems thats all the JWs really do. they where very nice when i went to there meeting thing but after they found out we where more than friends they did what they do best. any ways i'm still going to try and keep them a bit happy, to bad they can't respect her or me for what we choose. though it is over religion. i don't think theres a way to do this with out offending them.

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    i think you seem like a good person in that you care not to offend and are looking from as many angles as you reasonably can. key word reasonably. beyond that, stick close to your own principles and keep your wits about you. at least then she can respect you, even if they fail to. you might find out some decade down the road, that they've become secretly impressed by you. ;)

  • Edict Of Death
    Edict Of Death

    thank you, well i was debating about prettending to join there religion only in two years for us both to leave. i'm sure it would go smoothly though possably hurt even worse. the religion has alot of rules and i'd have to keep an eye out to make sure i'm not breaking one infront of any one.

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    yeah, early on in your thread, I wondered if that had occurred to ya. i think you are showing a lot of integrity to not go about things that way. (not that anyone would blame ya) and you are correct in realizing it wouldn't be easy to fake. i also agree that it could eventually hurt worse to ultimately leave after playing a role for them. kudos and best wishes. ///////// ps -i would also recommend strongly to build up healthy relationships between her and your family over time, because if she eventually leaves to be with you and IF her family ultimately takes a hardass stance against her, she could end up really reeling emotionally from that severance, be it physical or be it psychological. establishing a strong supportive group of friends, family and community around you two will be important. besides, if kidz are ever in the cards for you guys ... as the saying goes "it takes a village" (to raise a child).

  • TheSilence
    TheSilence

    The problem with that is this: Just because you join their religion does not mean it will be all that much easier. Her parents will still think she is too young to date until she's old enough to get married. Even if they do let her date another JW while she's still young there will have to be a chaperone with you at all times, one of the JW rules. Either way you still will not have one on one time with her and have her parents accept it. Why pretend to be something you're not when it gains you nothing?

    Jackie

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    for what it's worth, i'm rootin' for ya over here. i love love stories. ;) anything is possible with love. have you seen the taj mahal, per chance?

  • Eyes Open
    Eyes Open

    Hello Edict Of Death.

    Could you find out and post whether or not she is baptised?

    Also, what are her reasons for wanting to leave? Is she genuine about that?

    As others have said, retain your autonomy and don't sacrifice yourself to the organisation.

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    she's 15...

    does there have to be another reason

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