Having a Baby......?

by LouBelle 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • LouBelle

    So I'll be turning 32 soon. My life has been mostly pleasant. I don't have any 5 year plan or anything like that, but I do want to be a mom no later than 34. I am single, no great love of my life, not even someone to like out there at the moment. One thing I have always wanted was to be a mother. I absolutely love children and I know I have a "'mom"' in me.

    Only thing is.....like I said - there is no one with whom I can have a baby. That in itself is not a HUGE problem so I see 3 solutions:

    1. Adoption: I've reasoned that it would be wonderful to help a child that already is in this world but has no mother / father to call their own.

    2. Artificial insemination:

    3. Find someone who wouldn't mind helping me in this cause (someone I know of course), but doesn't have to be in the childs' life if they didn't want too.

    I know raising a child alone can be hard, but I'm emotionally and financially stable and have a huge family that would be there to add to the love. Some may think that raising a baby on ones' own would impact negatively on the child - however that is not necessarily the case, many single raised children haven't been scarred in the least.

    **big sigh** I suppose I've got a couple of years for this decision - any donors?

  • Casper


    It's easy to see that you have a lot of "Love" to give...

    True there are many children in want of adoption, and that would certainly be an admirable thing to do. I can also understand the wish to have one of your own.

    Maybe you could look into adoption, there's no harm in adopting and then, when "Love" finds you...have your own. I feel you have what it takes to love them equally.

    Just another option.

    I sincerely wish you the best in your quest to be a mother.


  • aSphereisnotaCircle

    I love the idea of adoption, I always wanted to do that.

    Unfortuantely I am very fertile and have had three unplaned pregnancies, so my plate has been full enough.

    I had my last baby after I turned 40, and was taking birth control pills.

    I am so grateful to modern science and the many means of BC we have, at least it slowed down my fertility. Otherwise, I am sure that I would have 14 or so children by now.

  • BurnTheShips

    I think adoption might be the best choice. I am just giving you my opinion here!

    Is it easy for a single woman to adopt? I am not sure but I don't think so. It's a shame with so many needy children.

    I want one more natural child (I have one) and then I want to adopt at least one more. My wife has a calling.

    My child is the greatest joy in my life.

    Blessings and good luck to you, I hope you also find a love to share with you in the love of the new life.


  • tnangel73

    I was almost 32 when I had my son. It was an unplanned pregnacy. I am financially secure. I chose not to marry his dad because it just didn't

    feel right to me. I'm not going to lie. It has been hard. But I wouldn't change anything. Another thing is I had some unexpected health

    problems and had to have a hysterectomy this year at age 34. So, I am really glad that I had my son, now.

  • lonelysheep

    I would say go for it. I know someone who is only 30 and having fertility problems. You just never know when the body will say, "Time's Up!"

  • Layla33

    I would say consider adoption, especially in your country there are a lot of children without parents that are suffering, it would be a great journey for you and child.

    With that being said, don't give up on your hopes of having a biological child. Women are having their first child at 40 and after more than ever before.

    And don't forget the importance of having a father. And I don't mean a sperm donor, a father. Given the choice, wouldn't you want to raise your child in a home with two parents that could love and provide from him or her?

  • Nowman

    I have three, 11, 9, and 1. I am 34, and my last one was planned, no regrets, I truly love having my own children, but if I ever adopted or make the decision to adopt, I would love them too. I too love children, my 2 cents is to never settle and you may find love just around the corner, you are still very young, and there is time. Maybe the decision for you, is to give it some more time. Time helps. How much? As you know, I do not know the answer, but you have something to look forward to no matter how it comes about that you have children, and taking more time out to think about it somemore is a good thing, I think.

    Best wishes to you.


  • momzcrazy

    I was 32 when I had my last baby. I had my first at 22. It was much better at 32! I say go for it. Adoption would be cool. I always wanted to do it, but my husband didn't.

    I agree to some extent about the value of a dad in the baby's life. Daddies are important, my son would spend every waking minute with his dad if he could. But grandpas and uncles do well as a positive male influence.

    I am alone with my kids 95% of the time. And I will say this, a partner is a wonderful thing to have. Another adult around to ease the strain, an ally in raising the little one.

    Good luck!

  • free2think

    I say go for it, i think you'll make a great mum.

Share this