It was awful

by Mrs Smith 20 Replies latest jw experiences

  • WingCommander

    Mrs. Smith:

    That is awful, and I know how you feel. What surprised me about your experience, was that the service was only 20 minutes long. I mean, that is extremely brief. I remember funerals being nearly an hour, at least. This was back in the '8o's. In the 90's a more structured online was given, and now it seems it has gotten even shorter.

    I have to say last year I was extremely lucky with my mother's funeral. Even though I was offered the KH, I had already set it up at a funeral home. A long-time Elder/family friend gave a very non-normal JW talk about what my mother and that she believed in the resurrection. Didn't say a word about JW's, 144,000, etc. This is probably due to my saying ahead of time that I thought JW funerals were an infomericial for the WT. As it went, I was very surprised and you guessed it - relieved - that I didn't hear an entire WT infomercial. In non-JW fashion, gave this Elder and his wife $100.00 and told them to have a nice dinner out on me. Previously, my father and grandmother's funerals were typical WT commercial. Boring, mind-numbing, disrespectful to the deceased.

    I bet you got a good dose of the "Love" that made you want to leave in the first place, right?


    Wing Commander

  • flipper

    MRS. SMITH- I'm sorry you had to endure that atrocious excuse for a memorial service for your friend - and it be so depressing . My son and wife and me attended a witness memorial for a lady last year 56 and it was similar. A marketing talk on behalf of the witnesses .

    I told my wife and son recently if my 82 or 80 year old witness parents die sometime in the next 5 years or so- my brother who is an elder ( 60 years old ) is going to hear about it with all guns firing from me before a memorial talk is ever given. I will tell him - if the speaker only spends 5 minutes on mom or dad's life, personality, their loves and losses, etc. and goes on to spend the next 30 minutes doing marketing crap for the witnesses - I will walk up on the stage , take over the microphone and give an impromptu eulogy myself ! I gave good impromptu talks as a witness - I'm sure I can do a heartfelt tribute to my parents ! So before the memorial I'll say- my brother be warned , the speaker better give the talk correctly - or I will walk up there. Peace out, take care sis ! , Mr. Flipper

  • Jim_TX

    I'm sorry that you had to endure their 'advertisement'.

    The last JW funeral I attended was for my sister. She was a JW - and they had the JW 'ad'. She worked for the local school though - as a crossing guard. She had done so for many years (at least 25 years). So, she was well known by the folks in the community - especially at the elementary school where she crossed kiddos going to - or from - school.

    Well... the folks at the local school gave her a tribute. As the hearse passed by - all the kiddos were outside - those who were school patrols were in their 'uniforms' (just a belt and badge). They were all standing there - in respect for her.

    It was very touching.

    My older sister - and younger brother - who are JWs - didn't know how to react to all of this.

    I thought it was great! It sort of negated any JW-preaching that they tried to do to these honest-hearted folks.


    Jim TX

    P.S. I've been to enough JW-funerals to know that after the first five minutes - I 'zone out' and don't listen to the speaker who is reading from a script. I usually go into my own thoughts and memories of the person. It helps to pass the time (usually about 30 minutes).

  • momzcrazy

    I'm sorry for your loss. Good you though for standing up to that "sister", you don't need meetings to get your life right with Jehovah!

    We went to a "worldly" funeral last month. It was beautiful! They had a DVD running with pictures and great music. And the preacher read several letters from friends. There were also memories read from members of the band that he had driven for 16 years. They were all there too. And they played Bob Seger in the chapel!


  • Mrs Smith
    Mrs Smith

    You guys are the best! Thank you so much for the support. Only other x-jw's know how I feel at the moment. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who has gone throught this.

  • Casper
    the Infomercial-ish nature of these events, that attending a JW funeral is simply providing an audience for the Infomercial

    This is so true. Having become a witness at 28, I was shocked at my first JW funeral. It was over so fast and hardly any mention at all of the deceased. There is just no comparison with what I was used to.

    I had so many questions, with no one with an answer other than, "We are here to glorify Jehovah, not man"....

    I am sorry for your loss, Mrs. Smith...


  • WTWizard

    I only went to one of those pukey things, in lieu of going out in field circus. And it was a total waste of time--hardly any time spent on anything other than another opportunity to spread the cancer. Just another boasting session.

  • Hope4Others
    A marketing talk on behalf of the witnesses .

    So true, it shows no respect for the life of the person at all. Sorry for your loss, it must have been quite a comfort to your friend to

    go to the funeral with her. Did she have any response to the funeral talk? And also I'm sorry you had to hear

    such a snide and inappropriate remark about getting your life together.


  • LayingLow

    That was a good comeback. I think I'll use that sometime too if the occasion presents itself.

    I don't know what to add to anyone else's comment about the infomercial part, just dido.

  • dogisgod

    I don't know really what to do. When my father died he had never been baptized and was DONE with them after they treated my like I was the great harlot after having been raped by my apt. manager. My mother had nothing for him. No funeral, no good byes for his friends just nothing. Now she is running out of energy and time and I don't feel a motivation to encourage a JW memorial commercial. Even though she has been in the same cong for 50 yrs no one really knows who she really is. She is just thought of as "serving faithfully for 56 years" (not really the truth). Maybe the cong would just do one for her but I don't know that I would go except to tell them who the real woman is and that she didn't swallow all their output like they thought she did. They know she is a "man-hater" thanks to her mother and the patriarchial system the JWs endorse. She's just so darned cute at 89, petite, white hair, spunky. All that covers a mean streak a mile wide.

    I guess it is just choosing your battles and I don't want to fight them or her. It just kills me. Why go and put yourself in the line of fire? This person is gone and whatever there is after is what they get to know ahead of us. Why go to some dry, devoid of the joy of life event when it has nothing to do with the person you knew? Better to gather some friends and drink to the best parts of their lives.

    If there are just two things the Borg totally lacks is joy and love of life. I believe they are totally disrespectful of the limited time we live on this planet and the importance we play on each others life.

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