I have to go to a JW funeral

by Mrs Smith 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Mrs Smith
    Mrs Smith

    A very good friend of mine's brother passed away yesterday. The funeral is on Friday and I really feel I need to be there for my friend. She lives out of town and does not have many friends here that can be with her in her time of need. Her and her brother were close and she is devestated, he was only in his late 40s and leaves a wife and three kids. He was inactive for most of his adult life and for the past 6 months had been going to meetings with his wife and kids.

    This friend of mine knows how I feel about the JWs and yet still speaks to me and has not run to the elders with my "apostate info". It's the least I can do for her.

    I know that I must go but this would be my first time in a KH since ....... I can't remember. I think my last meeting was the memorial about 7 years ago. I'm a bit nervous to be around so many JWs.

  • sass_my_frass

    Just keep reminding yourself that it's all about her.

  • Deidra

    As long as she continues to be your friend, you must do the same. Support her. I agree, it's all about her. One day, hopefully she will sacrifice something for you. As much as you hate to step into a KH, you have to.

  • Mrs Smith
    Mrs Smith

    Thanks Sass and Deidra. I know it's all about her and her family. I'm just really nervous, there will be a lot of witnesses I knew when I was still active at this funeral. I just hope that they leave me alone and don't take this as an oppertunity to get me back.

  • Dorktacular

    Mrs. Smith, I had to do the same thing back in February. The father of a friend of mine passed away in February. My friend, like me, is no longer a JW, but his entire family is. Despite not ever wanting to set foot in a Kingdom Hall again, I went to the funeral just to support my friend. My brother and I and our wives went with us. We were the only people at the funeral who talked with my friend. If it weren't for us, he would have been totally alone. The speaker even used the opportunity to harrass my friend about comming back to "the truth". It was sickening. But, just do it for your friend. You don't have to answer to anyone there. Stay as long as your friend wants you to stay.

  • Jim_TX

    My condolences. A death is always difficult.

    As far as being nervous. Don't be. Just be cool, calm and collected. This always throws the JWs off balance. They don't know how to react to this.

    Most importantly - be there for your friend.


    Jim TX

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Mrs. Smith,

    I'm sorry to hear about your loss. A disfellowshiped friend attended the memorial for her JW father. She is a dear and lovely person, who did absolutely nothing to merit her current congo-status. The friends were very loving and welcoming to her. Must be a congregation thing - some are loving, some not.

    I wish you the very best - that's the only reason I would return to a KH. It wouldn't be easy ...



  • OnTheWayOut

    If you are there for a friend, then be there early enough to greet the friend or stay after enough to
    greet the friend.

    Don't bother to listen to the service after the first 5 minutes. It's not about the person.

    Try arriving just a few minutes early. Greet your friend. Sit near the back. Get up after the speaker
    switches to talking about the hopes of the deceased. Leave a sweater or something on your chair and
    come back 15 to 20 minutes later. Go to the washroom or outside during that time.

  • Mrs Smith
    Mrs Smith

    Thanks everyone, the funeral is tomorrow I will let you know how it went.

  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    Hi there...

    Good luck my friend - I am sorry for your and your friend's loss! I know exactly how you feel about going back to the KH. Just remember that they are the sad ones caught up in a cult - not us - that gives you the " upper hand" so to speak! (not quite the right term, but I think you know what I mean)



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